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Very affectionate child - worried mum.

(6 Posts)
sandfish Tue 27-Jan-15 05:36:04

Hi wise ones
My son is 4. He is very cuddly. He loves babies, he tries to cuddle every one he sees. He loves his friends and his teacher at nursery and is constantly giving them cuddles and it is remarked upon. He loves his friends mummy's and will give them cuddles and kisses, even daddies too sometimes, even people he doesn't really know sometimes. He told a random (but very pretty) lady in the doctors waiting room that he loved her yesterday. He talks to everyone, says hello to everyone - people that ignore him don't seem to phase him.

Whilst I can see a lot of good in this behaviour I have some worries. I have tried to tell him to ask people first if they want a cuddle before launching himself at them. He does this sometimes now, but as he is young and cute most people say yes. I realise this will not last forever. He will start school in September. I'm worried he will get loads of teasing from the other boys if he carries on. Obviously there is the issue of stranger danger as well.

What can or should I do? I'm bemused. He is clearly an extrovert child and I am an introvert so i'm a bit lost really.

Ineedacleaningfairy Tue 27-Jan-15 07:36:46

He sounds adorable, I would continue to gently encourage him asking if people want a cuddle but saying hi to people is just good manners.

I would imagine that he is always with adults so I wouldn't think stranger danger is an issue yet, by the time he is old enough to be going out by himself he will most probably have grown out of the cuddling.

NotCitrus Tue 27-Jan-15 09:46:42

At 4, I wouldn't worry - in Reception and even Y1 kids seem to hug each other lots. Just keep talking to him about asking first and looking if someone looks like they don't want to be bothered.

I have treasured memories of the expressions on cool young men's faces when ds would ask if he could sit on their laps in the bus, and failing that, could he have some of their crisps, please?

At 6 he is much more appropriate!

forago Tue 27-Jan-15 09:51:09

this is pretty normal I'd say. All 3 of my boys were exactly the same at that age. Now I have to fight to get my 10 year old to say goodbye to me at the school gates. The 7 year old, who worried me immensely as a 5 year old when went up to a random stranger in ikea and hugged and kissed him, is also on the turn. He will still let me kiss him goodbye at school but that's about it. The 4 year old kisses anyone he can get his hands on and tells random people how pretty and kind they are.

Enjoy it while it lasts, seriously!

OllyBJolly Tue 27-Jan-15 09:57:31

how lovely! I think you're doing the right thing, gently encourage him to ask permission without making him feel bad about it.

DD2 was the same - loved everyone, wanted to cuddle anyone and everyone. Told random strangers they were beautiful. My friend's husband still talks about when she asked him to be her daddy - I've never let on she asked every man that. (she has a dad!)

Sadly, she grew out of it around five. Lucky if I get a grudging hug on Christmas and birthdays now!

sandfish Tue 27-Jan-15 10:35:35

Thanks so much everyone I feel reassured now I know he isn't the only child who does this. Glad to know also it will naturally change over time and I should probably stop worrying!

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