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Least traumatic course of action

(5 Posts)
monal Mon 26-Jan-15 08:52:25

My DD is 19 months old. We live in France. She recently came back to the UK with me for over 2 weeks, away from her dad, because I went to look after my own elderly dad who has bipolar disorder and dementia.

I was trying to avoid him being hospitalised to allow him to see my mother, who is currently dying and in a nursing home, but in the end it was untenable anyway and no-one was doing anyone else any good, and my father has been hospitalised after all.

There were a few shouty incidents, although he was never violent at all and he was always gentle and kind with her, but shouting at me was bad enough. I cried in front of her twice. There were also lots of new people to meet which she loved and seeing my uncles and aunts and playing in the snow and with the dog, being in the country, seeing sheep & cows, so it wasn't all high drama, but there was too much high drama for babies in my opinion.

She dreams about it. I don't know what she dreams, and her words for grandma/grandpa are indistinguishable, but she cries in her sleep and says "grandma/grandpa."

Now I am going back for 5 days. Both my parents are looked after so we would only visit them and would be in the house by ourselves. Should I leave her here with her dad (the longest I have ever left her is 2 nights, she is still BF although can obviously live without it no problem)? Is it better to leave her here with her dad, her French grandparents and the childminder?

AnyFucker Mon 26-Jan-15 08:56:38

I would leave her with her family. You are going to be busy and distracted during your visit.

monal Mon 26-Jan-15 09:37:22

I'll do that I think. She can have happy holidays with both of us in the UK later on when things are more settled. And she will be fine for 5 days.

AnyFucker Mon 26-Jan-15 09:41:43

She will

SophieBarringtonWard Mon 26-Jan-15 09:46:13

I would leave her. She will be fine at home, & you will be able to focus on your family.

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