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Tell me about the relationships between your sons and daughters please?

(7 Posts)
notmuchofaclue Sat 17-Jan-15 08:36:25

We already have a DD, nearly 3, and are expecting a DS. I have a brother and a sister, as a child I was very close to my sister (still am) but didn't get on well at all with my brother. He and I had the same sort of age gap as my DD and DS will have. Now, I know that just because we didn't have a great relationships doesn't mean that other boy/girl siblings can't be close, so I'm keen to hear about other parents experiences. If you had a DD and DS, did they play together/have shared interests/even share a room? Or was it screaming and shouting most days like it seemed to be between me and my brother.
Can different sex siblings ever get on as well as same sex?

JapaneseMargaret Sat 17-Jan-15 08:48:24

My DB and I are 20 months apart (so less of a gap), and we were close friends growing up. We still are, albeit on different sides of the world.

My DC are 18 months apart and are nearly 6 and 4.5. They are great friends. Yes, they bicker and fight and want the same thing, but they also tell each other they love each other, take something for themselves and also for their sibling, get us when the other one needs us, and generally just look out for each other.

We have an au pair and she always says how much our two remind her of her relationship with her DB - they are now late teens/v early 20s and still really close, and often Skype.

My best friend has an adopted younger brother by 5 years, and she is much closer to him than her two birth sisters.

But, basically, all our anecdotes won't really tell you anything until you little DS arrives and gets older, because it's all down to personality.

However, from my point of view, can I just say - lucky you! grin I wouldn't swap my DB, nor my own sibling-set for all the tea in China - it's exactly what I would've chosen, if choice were ever an option! smile

5ChildrenAndIt Sat 17-Jan-15 08:50:21

My opposite sex DC get on great. I don't think gender is an issue until teens.

crapcrapcrapcarp Sat 17-Jan-15 08:53:02

3 years 2 months between my two and they fight and argue on a daily basis. But no more than friends' same sex siblings do. And if one of them falls over or Huey's themselves, the other is the first to dish out cuddles. They also play together pretty well and can be very cooperative at times.

crapcrapcrapcarp Sat 17-Jan-15 08:53:24

*Huey's = hurts grin

ataposaurus Sat 17-Jan-15 08:56:07

There is 2 and a half years between me and my brother and we have always got on really well, both as children and now as adults. I have a very confiding relationship with him. I do know people who do not get on with their sisters - I think it is probably a combination of factors not just gender that determine if siblings get on.

I have a boy and girl with the same age gap and they do fight and argue a lot but they also play and laugh together and fundamentally I think they do get on (and hope they will when older!)

Pooka Sat 17-Jan-15 09:01:20

I have two older brothers.

When I was younger, probably until I was about 15 and they were early 20s, we got on well but weren't terribly close. I suspect that that was as much to do with the closeness in age between them, and birth order, rather than gender.

Once I was older, the age gap seemed to diminish and I am close to them. I would say though that I think they're probably more likely to confide in each other rather than me.

As younger children, they fought a fair amount, and we all bickered. But I think that's what siblings tend to do under the age of say 12.

I have a daughter and then 2 sons. The relationship between dd and ds2 is excellent. He can irritate her though, he's 5 and she's nearly 12. The relationship between dd and ds1 is more complicated. I think that's more to do with birth order, and the fact that he is a closer "competitor" because he is closer in age. So there's the sense that she tries to assume a parental, chiding tone with him, which generally is most noticeable when she's feeling threatened or unconfident. So if I tell her off for making a massive mess in her bedroom, she instantly diverts and has a go at him. He seems sometimes to genuinely like her more than she likes him and ignores any low level nagging. But I'm confident that as they grow older, they will become closer, as was the case with me and my brothers.

I think sibling relationships come into their own once the parents are removed from the mix - there isn't competition for favour, or love and so the relationship can become more complex and solid.

I think that all the dcs would stick together and stick up for each other when they're in a strange environment or threatened externally.

I do wonder sometimes whether ds1 and dd would get on better and there'd be less sniping and prickliness if dd was the younger one. She seems to adopt a semi-maternal (but critical) role.

I find it fascinating!

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