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Nursery at nine months?

(14 Posts)
MintSource Mon 05-Jan-15 10:23:28

I'm currently on maternity leave and looking at nurseries for DS with a plan to go back to work FT when he is about nine months.

I'm a first time mum and am just becoming aware of information about a big leap I can expect at that age where LOs become very dependant and really realise who their parents are and become more clingy.

Has anyone had experience of this or is it something that may/may not happen, varies between LOs like everything else (or even just old wives tale)?

It has made me a little nervous and if it's something I need avoid then I can put DS into nursery a little earlier (or later).

Any advice appreciated please....

workingtitle Mon 05-Jan-15 11:07:48

We started DS at around 6 months then upped the sessions when I went back to work. Our experience has been - he settled really well and developed a good attachment with his key worker, BUT we didn't avoid the separation anxiety stage totally and had a few very difficult weeks at around 11-12 months when he was very upset at drop off (having never been unhappy prior).

I found this very difficult, but one benefit of starting him at 6m was that when things were tough it didn't coincide with my return to work so I wasn't dealing with all the emotions around that at the same time or putting his behaviour down to me being at work etc.

Personally wouldn't adjust my preferred return date because you just never know if/when your baby will find things hard.

MintSource Mon 05-Jan-15 16:15:01

Thank you - that's really helpful.

I was planning to have a two week settling in period but it sounds as if this needs to be longer.

LittleLionMansMummy Mon 05-Jan-15 16:20:21

We opted for a cm but never experienced problems. He started at 9 months and settled brilliantly. I think it just depends on your baby tbh! At 4yo he's always pleased to see us, but equally happy to go off first thing in the morning. We never had any tears or meltdowns, but did make sure he had a few weeks to settle in before we upped his hours.

Racheyg Mon 05-Jan-15 17:18:23

I start my little boy at nursery at 7 1/2 months and he settled in really well. Loved his keyworker and really flourished. We never had any issues with separation ect. We moved when he was 15 months and had to change nursery he struggled with his new nursery as he knew what was going on and took a while to settle, Although he is fine now.

I would say doing nursery early has worked in our benefit as he didn't have all the seperation anxieties ect

clara85 Mon 05-Jan-15 17:21:04

I would recommend starting him 4 or even 6 weeks before you go back, even if half days at first - not just for him but for you also to get time to yourself before starting back at work & get used to the new routine smile

YonicSleighdriver Mon 05-Jan-15 17:25:50

Why not start him with a few sessions when a bit younger?

OutDamnSpot Mon 05-Jan-15 17:26:25

I have sent mine to nursery at 6mo (full-time), 11mo (4 days) and to a CM at 1yr (2 days).

I had most trouble with the middle one, although even that was quite minor, but I think it was more due to the child than the age. Dd1 could have been sent at any age and been happy. None of mine became noticeably more clingy at the 9/10 month mark anyway.

So I think is just luck of the draw but your plan to do settling in before you go back to work is a good one - give you both time to adjust.

Flingingmelon Mon 05-Jan-15 17:39:46

YY to suggestions re easing in gently. My DS went full time at 1yo. We started with two half days a week at 6mo and gradually built it up. We had no issues thank heavens smile

trilbydoll Mon 05-Jan-15 17:44:57

DD went at 10mo and we haven't had any problems (other than the odd day here and there).

We did settling in then 2 weeks of my p/t hours before I went back to work. Was a lovely 2 weeks!

madwomanacrosstheroad Mon 05-Jan-15 17:56:56

At around nine months babies developmentally become aware of object permanency. That means they are able to understand that even though they can't see someone or something it still exists. Due to this they will develop separation anxiety around that age and will look for their attachment figure and get distressed when they are not around. That is normal. Also normal is that a baby will let their protest be heard when separated from their parent and again remind them of this when they return and be a bit clingy, even if they were quite contented in between. This is to be expected and you would wonder about attachment if it did not happen. Babys learn quickly that they can rely on their parent to come back.
Normally a baby does a styling in period over a couple of weeks part time and then is fine. I have done it with my five. It is often more stressful for parent than for babies.
Nurseries have a lot of significant advantages in my mind. We have done various forms of childcare over the years.

MintSource Mon 05-Jan-15 18:54:16

Thanks for all the great responses - all so helpful and lots of food for thought.

Yup, the settling in will be more for me than him as he's such a cheery, sociable chap and I hate the idea of leaving him....

workingtitle Mon 05-Jan-15 19:46:59

Good luck Mint, it's a big thing but I'm sure he'll be very happy. DS had his first day back after the christmas break (he's 15months now) and had a brilliant day, blew kisses to his key worker when he saw her smile

MintSource Mon 05-Jan-15 21:39:58

Aw, how lovely. Thank you. They are the sort of stories I need to hear more of!

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