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Please help. I need reassurance.

(16 Posts)
LucyB1 Sat 03-Jan-15 22:46:29

Before I write this I feel guilty about feeling ungrateful for how easy bf has been and what a wonderful experience.

HOWEVER. I only wanted to bf for 6 months (tops) but right now I can't work out how to stop. My dd is just over 5 months. She won't take the bottle and I can't settle her without the boob ( currently waking 3 times per night ish). I have started weaning (puréed) but its a slow process.

I need my body back. I need to be able to go out for more than 2 hours. Finding it very frustrating. Can anyone reassure me that I'm not stuck like this forever!

LucyB1 Sat 03-Jan-15 22:47:40

Sorry. Waking 4 times a night. Not 3.

madwomanacrosstheroad Sat 03-Jan-15 23:09:05

Firstly would doubt you LL make it by six months. Could you combine both for a while? She might be more receptive to a baby cup than a bottle and I would not try expressed milk. What kind of rood have you tried her with? Mine loved mashed up avocado or soft bananas and hated baby rice with a passion. Another one they all liked was sweet potatoes. Also I found that giving them a milky semolina porridge last thing at night helped. Does she waken because she is hungry or because she wants to suck? Would you consider a dummy? Is there any way you could leave her with someone for a couple of hours and a bottle of formula? She might be much happier taking it from someone else. Just try not to stress too much. A bottle fed baby will not sleep through any more or less than a breastfed one and bottles are a faff ro sterilise, prepare etc. However mixed feeding is entirely possible once you figure out what she likes.

madwomanacrosstheroad Sat 03-Jan-15 23:12:53

Oh and of the getting up is the Mai issue just take her into bed with you, you can just roll over and feed. It is far less exhausting than having to run around with a screaming baby trying to waken up enough to heat a bottle to the right temperature and then try to calm the baby to the point where she will take it.

minipie Sat 03-Jan-15 23:15:55

Hi, sounds like you need to break the feed-to-sleep habit ie teach dd to fall asleep or back to sleep without bfeeding. there are various ways to do that, the main ones are

1- controlled crying
2- gradual retreat
3- No Cry Sleep Solution (there is a book called this)

1 involves lots of crying (for a few nights) and is usually not recommended before 6 months, but it does work quickly. 3 involves no crying in theory but takes a lot longer. 2 is somewhere in between.

I'd love to tell you that she will learn to fall asleep without BF by herself, ie without any of these methods, but in all honesty that could take a long long long time...

madwomanacrosstheroad Sat 03-Jan-15 23:20:25

Is she not a bit young for controlled crying? I have done it with mine but they were around 9 months old and had a concept of object permanency.

callamia Sat 03-Jan-15 23:28:23

You've done great to get this far, and I completely understand your feelings. Things will get easier... I went back to work when DS was 5m and was ebf. He wouldn't take a bottle, so my husband fed him milk with a soft-spout nuk cup. He still uses that for milk now. It was a bit of a learning experience for him, but he nothing bad happened because I left the house for a few hours, and he caught on fairly quickly.

For night-time, I'm just starting to night wean. DS is 14m and I feel like he's definitely not in need of food overnight. He has been a frequent feeder too, but I got through it with co-sleeping after the first wake-up. Really, it wasn't so bad - although at 2am, I wasn't saying that.

You can definitely go out. If your daughter goes wake up if you're out for an evening, someone else will be abke to settle her. It might take longer than an available boob, but it will be possible.

Zipfeldad Sun 04-Jan-15 08:04:34

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CarrotPuff Sun 04-Jan-15 10:03:28

You shouldn't give semolina for baby under 6 months, as wheat can cause allergies.

At 5 months she wouldn't take that much food yet.

A lot of babies start sleeping better on their own at 6-7 months as their sleep changes, she also might start taking more solids, so you could try night weaning once she's on good three meals a day.

Hang in there, it will get better flowers

BastardGoDarkly Sun 04-Jan-15 10:15:15

Cc for a 5 month bf baby? sad

minipie Sun 04-Jan-15 13:55:57

Bastard I did say it's not recommended before 6 months!

that said, I did CC at 17 weeks (with an EBF baby) and although not what I'd have liked in an ideal world, I think it was the lesser of two evils in our circumstances. She had been a dreadful sleeper since birth (co sleeping did not help) and I had almost fallen down the stairs through tiredness the week before. We did one day of CC and DD went from 6+ wake ups a night to only one, and she napped much better too. We were all a lot happier and safer for it.

LucyB1 Sun 04-Jan-15 17:35:42

Thanks for all the replies so far. I've just got back from my mums and I'm even more confused. She said I should be giving milk from cup with dinner where I thought I should give water. She said I should only be feeding 3 times a day. I feel so fed up. I feel like I've done everything wring and don't know what I should be doing moving forward. Got myself in a right pickle.

Misty9 Sun 04-Jan-15 19:04:40

You poor thing, sounds stressful sad your mum is probably of the '4 hourly feeds' generation so, if you can, ignore her. There is no right way to do things, just the way which works best for you and your family. If you are feeling fed up with breastfeeding then formulate (no pun intended! ) a plan to stop.

But, I was seriously fed up with breastfeeding at 5 months and now dd is 8 months old she's loving food and feeds less during the day. We have had to address her unsettled evenings with controlled crying, which I thought I would never do, but it wasn't as bad as I worried and she's waking once a night generally now. Every baby is different though: ds fed every two hours until he was ten months old, and didn't really take to solids until then either.

Have a think what is really disrupting your life, not what other people say you should be doing, then work from there smile

teacher54321 Sun 04-Jan-15 20:25:41

Ds was a total bottle refusing nightmare at that age. I got him to drink formula out of cups by distracting him (judicious use of postman pat, and giving him the cup in his pushchair when out and about!) the joy was that I didn't have to then wean him off bottles at a year! I continued to bf first and last thing until 10 months and then I stopped completely.

madwomanacrosstheroad Sun 04-Jan-15 21:30:35

Try to find a way that suits both you and your baby. Using a cup for formula os often a good idea because it is a totally different feeding technique for the baby. On the other hand you may want to also take into account that having a supply of milk ready to feed without sterilising when out and about os one big advantage of breast feeding. Basically she is at an age where she will increasingly way thongs other that breastmilk and every child is a bit different in what they like. Also in terms of when they like solids they are all different. Some are ready to eat quite a bit by five months some are simply not interested until nine or ten months. And before anyone tells me that babys should not have solids before six months, those guidelines differ internationally and change forward/backward over time.
Also while I religiously pureed everything for DC1, when I was on DC5, o just mashed thongs up with a fork. Its a lot quicker and can be done with a baked potato in a cafe.
Weaning takes time. If you want or need to be away for a few hours or a whole day your baby will take formula and other food of whoever is looking after her because she LL be hungry. Try to listen to yourself and your baby.

madwomanacrosstheroad Sun 04-Jan-15 21:33:14

Mashed up things, not thongs!!! Bloody phone

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