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NCT 'friends'

(49 Posts)
Queazy Sat 03-Jan-15 16:47:41

Just wondering who made real friends via NCT and has stayed in touch. I was sad that my group drifted apart, or maybe never really bonded, but we were all in contact in the early days when it really helped.

SpaghettiMeatballs Sat 03-Jan-15 16:50:57

I am very close to two of the women from my group. See them every week, get together with our DHs and one even had my DD when I have birth to DS.

I am in touch with one other lady and see her a few times a year.

I am Facebook friends with two but don't think I'll see them again. Nice women but we've drifted apart in the three years since the babies were born.

One lady cut off all contact with everyone for no apparent reason.

Based on our statistics it would seem normal to drift apart but they were all really important to me in the early days.

WhoKnowsWhereTheMistletoes Sat 03-Jan-15 16:51:44

Yes, I still meet mine for coffee most weeks, our first babies are nearly eleven now (years not months). I can't imagine not having their friendship.

WhoKnowsWhereTheMistletoes Sat 03-Jan-15 16:53:40

I agree that the early days are most important though, they were an absolute lifeline for me then, now it is just a normal friendship group, albeit a very close one.

FelixFelix Sat 03-Jan-15 16:54:49

Our group drifted apart within a few months. There was just me and another person who always tried to arrange meet-ups and everyone else always dropped out at the last minute. Got fed up eventually and now don't bother, and the other person (who was really lovely) has relocated miles away. I'm gutted as it was the only reason I did NCT classes, as none of my friends have babies sad

MistAndAWeepingRain Sat 03-Jan-15 16:55:40

My group had 5 couples back in 2008.
1 couple moved overseas
I moved away when my marriage ended (needed to move somewhere cheaper)
Of the 3 couples left in our hometown, 2 had a big falling out and no longer speak.
I was very close to all of them our babies were tiny but we have drifted over the the years. I don't see them very often now but it's always nice to catch up when we can. We're mainly in contact on FB now.

Greencurtain Sat 03-Jan-15 16:57:29

I moved far away from the place I had my eldest. Over the years, I've had less and less contact with my NCT group because of this. They were nice though and like someone else said it really helped in the early days.

RichardParkerTheTiger Sat 03-Jan-15 17:00:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Queazy Sat 03-Jan-15 17:03:32

It really did help in the early days, but we drifted apart when people started returning to work. I'm really envious of those who've made life long friends. I know you can't design for it, but I'd secretly really hoped for that smile

GotToBeInItToWinIt Sat 03-Jan-15 17:09:03

We're only 13 months in but still really good friends and 3 of us are expecting number 2. A bit trickier meeting now some have gone back to work full time but we try and meet in the evenings instead. One decided not to have anything to do with any of us after the course, and one has moved away but still comes to visit every month or so.

PisforPeter Sat 03-Jan-15 17:10:23

We had regular meet ups until people started returning to work & then started to drift apart. I think it depends on personalities, we were all quite different & had different parenting styles too. As my DH said to me, just because you have babies at the same time doesn't mean you have anything else in common!
I made more lasting friendships at local toddler groups.

SoupDragon Sat 03-Jan-15 17:12:38

There were 7 of us to start with. 2 fell by the wayside in the first year, one moved away, one dropped out later and then I got really hurt by some things said by the other two on different occasions. I'm only in FB contact with the couple who moved away now.

Certainly in the early days it was an absolutely lifeline - all incompetent and neurotic together!

Blanketontheground Sat 03-Jan-15 17:16:17

I agree - a lifeline! We are all friends five years on. There were 5 in my group and we see the two couples who live close to us every month at least. We are planning a holiday together!

batgirl1984 Sat 03-Jan-15 17:22:26

I did nct and discovered that a couple of them are people I want to be proper friends with, a couple are people I'm happy to see as part of a group (but not particularly my bessie mate) and one has left the group. That was 3 years ago. After having my first I met some other mums who had a kid the same age as mine but it wasn't the first time round for them. They were a lot more relaxing to spend time with! I think in an nct group of friends you can raise each other's anxieties a bit.

OhFrabjousDay Sat 03-Jan-15 17:23:59

I've drifted away from my group, though I think they're still friends. It was good in the early years but once your dc are beyond the baby stage where everyone is dealing with the same kind of things it's more down to whether you actually get on/have stuff in common.

I remember towards the end of when I saw them regularly, we were out for a meal and one of them toasted 'to the best friends I've made in decades!' and I just thought it was really weird as I didn't feel that way at all. They all clearly like each other a lot more than I did, as they were going on holiday together last time I heard!

WhoKnowsWhereTheMistletoes Sat 03-Jan-15 17:25:07

2 out of 7 of ours did drift away a bit, one because of her work, we do see her when we can, the other just drifted, we see her occasionally. The other 5 of us all had second babies within 3 months of each other when oldest were turning two, those are the ones I've stayed really close to, we still all live within 10 miles of one another which obviously helps (we all have cars) and none of us work FT (although I used to). So circumstances have definitely helped us. I can't believe our chats now are mainly about secondary schools!

misssmapp Sat 03-Jan-15 17:26:30

I didn't do NCT, but did go to a NHS ante-natal group. I am still really good friends with two other mums and we meet up most school holidays . I also still meet up regularly with the group of mums I met at the local toddler group.

Our eldest dcs are 10 this year. Arranging to meet up is getting harder due to work, but our friendship is still very strong.

Wigeon Sat 03-Jan-15 17:28:32

I did NCT in 2008: I have made one really good friend, who I would now count as one of my closest friends, and the rest of us (apart from one who has moved a long way away) meet up about three times a year for cocktails and a meal. Actually some of the others meet up more regularly because I now live in the next door town to where we did the classes and they are SAHMs. We are now on our second and third babies.

I'm really pleased I met them all smile.

mamaduckbone Sat 03-Jan-15 17:45:30

Not NCT, my 'baby' group with ds1 was my antenatal swimming group. I didn't keep in touch with any of my actual antenatal class although I would speak if I bumped to any of them.

1 of my swimming group I would now class as a best friend, we go away for weekends, spent NYE together, regularly meet up with families. 1 moved overseas but we are still quite close, and have visited each other but don't speak regularly. 2 moved away and we aren't in touch at all, the other 3 I meet up with every few months for a drink and have been to big birthday parties etc. For the first 3 years of so we met regularly with the dcs, although the children are all at different schools and see each other rarely now. Dcs are 9 by the way.

I think it just depends on who you click with - just because you happen to have children the same age doesn't necessarily mean you will be friends for longer than those baby times when you do all need the support.

deadwitchproject Sat 03-Jan-15 17:48:45

Our group is still together 2 years in. Some are closer than others but we have lots of meet-ups and dinners. I'm not sure how long it will last but hopefully for a while yet.

HoggleHoggle Sat 03-Jan-15 17:57:17

A year in, we still meet up as a whole group every few months - people going back to work etc means we can't meet all the time whereas it used to be at least once a week. One other lady I see about 3 times a week, we live the closest to each other and neither of us are back at work yet. Another one I see about once a week. So some I see far more now than the others but we are all still in regular contact as the 'group' and are doing a joint birhday party for all the babies etc. I'm really glad I met them.

TheBookofRuth Sat 03-Jan-15 18:04:11

Ooh, Spaghetti, I "cut all contact" with my NCT group, and our babies are all around three now.

I wonder if it could be the same one? Are you all fantastically posh?

lecherslady Sat 03-Jan-15 18:05:32

I did NCT in 2003 when I had first.

There were originally six in our group. Two have since gone by the wayside (one moved abroad), but the rest of us still meet up. We used to meet weekly for years, but now it's termly and the mums tend to go out more than the children... But as they'll be 12 this year, I think we've done pretty well considering.

My aunt still meets her NCT friends (not very often, but every few of months or so) and her eldest is in his mid thirties now.

SpaghettiMeatballs Sat 03-Jan-15 19:27:01

I don't know BookOfRuth. Did you move away? That's what happened here but it was a shame she didn't want to keep in touch at all even leaving the Facebook group and deleting friends.

PolkaDotCups Sat 03-Jan-15 19:35:10

We had a tiny group of four couples which I found really disappointing as I only did it to meet people really!

My DD is two now. I see two of the group maybe every 6 to 8 weeks but we don't have a huge amount in common although they are both very nice.

I've made better friends at other groups. I wouldn't recommend NCT to anyone really.

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