1yr old demanding to feed himself but eating bugger all.

[Woobeedoo]

My DS was always a picky eater being a fan of the violent headshake and the 'talk to the hand' gesture when anything other than mushed to a slop food was offered. When he hit 11months he started to be better, foods with lumps could be eaten and not fished out of the mouth and he would happily be spoon fed.

Then just before 12months he went through a week long phase where he would only be spoon fed if he was given a spoon which he would occasionally jab into the bowl of whatever.

We've just had a full week of his utter refusal to be fed by either myself or his father. We get the full on screaming fits if we try so we have to give him food which he plays with but refuses to eat. He would refuse all finger foods but has finally started to accept fish fingers (yes, hardly the best I know), prawns and soup which I put in a sippy cup. He refuses all soft cooked chopped veg and the only fruit accepted is banana, blueberries and apple (veg is picked up, examined and thrown). Each day I try to give him one new taste to try in the hope that he'll love it, wolf it and demand more but no joy.

I am slowly losing my mind. Before we broke for Christmas he'd eat everything at Nursery with no complaint (they spoonfeed and offer chopped veg) so now I'm worried he won't eat there either. My DH says he'll eat when hungry but he has quite the stubborn determined streak and I can see he has actually lost a little weight already. He is fine with his milk but I'm so concerned.

Has anyone else's baby gone through this and if so, was it a brief phase (please say its a brief phase) and I just need to take a breath and be calm.

[Woobeedoo]

Sorry this posted twice, on first attempt it said denied.

[TittyBojangles]

I'd stop spoon feeding anything and just put food in front of him, try your best to relax about it and let him try it if he wants, if not then just clear it up. Plenty of milk to keep him going in the meantime.

[purplemurple1]

Could you try foods that are easier to spoon feed himself with. That and lots of finger foods available.

We went with thick rice pudding (use yogurt instead of milk, or buy tinned), thick weetabix (you could add mushed banana or stewed apple so he knows the taste), very smooth mash (add apple if needed for now, you can venture into vegetables later if you have success with it).
This type of food is sticky enough that you can preload spoons and leave them in the bowl so he can pick them up and feed himself, and the food stays on the spoon even if it is turned upside down.

For finger foods, very soft pears go down well here as if you cut the stalk off the whole of the rest of it can be eaten without any adult help. And of course rice cakes, and dry breakfast cereal as snacks.

[cottageinthecountry]

This is all normal. He is trying to avoid getting poisoned. It is part of normal human development that at around 12 months (usually a bit older) children need to learn what food is safe to eat and what isn't. The do it by licking, prodding and poking, throwing, sniffing etc. The colour can be important.

You said you give a different food every day in hope he will like it. That's like offering an adult a different pill every day to see what effect it has. Eventually you are going to want to take control of this, and that's exactly what he's doing by taking the spoon.

So just leave him be. As others have said, put the food out and walk away and let him explore, make his mind up about what works and move on.

Remember that young children hardly need to eat vegetables at all so don't worry about a balanced diet, just make sure there is a good carb and protein content with healthy oils and hopefully a bit of veg or fruit.

[herintheredskirt]

Yes my 12 month old seems to eat hardly anything at the moment, despite having enjoyed a wide variety of solids since 6 months. She had been breastfeeding heaps though. Is yours still on breastmilk/formula? I figure that way we know they are getting needed nutrients.

If it makes you feel any better, mine just refused banana but did accept a bit of my frozen pizza!

[herintheredskirt]

*has been breastfeeding.

And the pizza has been heated, we're not eating it frozen :)

[Woobeedoo]

Thanks all, good to know its pretty normal! He has formula each day and is guzzling that (I give water every mealtime - I'm trying to follow what the nursery does as he accepts it with them).

I've tried thick foods to go on spoons but he just thwacks it out on the table. Maybe I need to go thicker! I also leave him to it rather than hovering around trying to feed him - I've even tried eating the same as him but he gives me a raised eyebrow look then shakes his head at me.

Cottage - I didn't know about babies not needing much veg, my DH is a complete vegetable freak so his obsessing about the lack of veg DS has hasn't helped me. I offer the same food each day but add one new item to try to broaden his mealtimes a little, sorry my original post probably wasn't too clear.

Thanks again all, I will relax and also try pear. :-)