Just wondering how people found the newborn stage when it was your 2nd? I found the first 3 months or so of ds arriving very hard, and hoping when we have number 2 it will be a bit better as I know what to expect a bit more (know it will still be hard, but hopefully not as much of a shock to the system!)
My four children have all got "easier". In fact they haven't got easier, you just learn to parent better.
What I did struggle with when I had DC2 was the fact that I realised how much I did wrong with DC1 as a baby. I don't know if this delayed guilt is usual or just me. But when you realise how much easier a baby is to deal with when you know what you are doing, it is hard not to feel terrible for your previous mistakes.
Easier in the way that you know what you're doing, and also you know each stage passes quickly so can deal with it. But for me my second baby was a complete nightmare, he didn't sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time until he was about 8 months old and didn't sleep through at all till he was 2. First baby was an angel in comparison.
Marking my place. DS has just turned 1 and I'm 11 weeks pregnant with no2 and quietly crapping myself! DS's arrival was like a bomb hitting and I'm hoping my second will be less of a shock. Ds was an "easy" baby once we got feeding sorted out and, after hearing friends experiences, I'm currently having nightmares about the word "colic".
DD1 was an easier baby but is a pita toddler. DD2 more difficult baby but have less time to worry about it as dealing with demanding DD1. I think the easier part is knowing what you are doing and not being so obsessed with centile charts/HV comments/what other people think.
I'd say my second baby was easier because I knew better what I was doing but this was counterbalanced by the difficulty of also having a jealous toddler to deal with. The labour was much easier, so that was a bonus.
Dealing with DC2 is much easier, it's balancing both their needs which is the headfuck Second PPs comment re feeling guilty about the way I dealt with DC1s first three months - oh the benefit of hindsight... My DS is now 10 weeks old, he has reflux but isn't colicky whereas my daughter was a nightmare every night for 15 weeks. I'm not having any more kids so am really making sure I take every opportunity to enjoy this - even in the middle of the night when I am sooooo tired. Good luck!
Things that are easier: - working out why he might be crying - not being overwhelmed with 'what the fuck do we do next?' - knowing that the difficult bits will pass in such a short time, so we are making sure we enjoy him sleeping on us as much as we can
Things that are harder: - managing his big sister's expectations - she fusses over him so much, she's utterly besotted and never leaves him alone (this is also very lovely, but it slows things down a lot) - me not getting as much time with DD as I'd like, it's definitely affecting her - for DH: last time he just had to take care of me and keep the house functioning while I focused on DD. This time he's got me, the house, and DD to look after while I focus on DS. She is v clingy, understandably, so I know he's feeling under pressure.
I will probably think of more, but that's what comes to mind this morning.
I guess it depenDS on your older child and the baby. For me, number 2 was an absolute breeze! I had the 'difficult' baby first, and in comparison everything about DD was easy. And DS was 3.5 and really good about her arrival. She slept lots, fed well and was just really settled. Plus, as PP have said - you are that much more confident and relaxed. Hope it goes really well for you.
Dc2 was easy - very laid back happy to just sit/lay there. Dd1 was the opposite always wanted to be held. Dd's are now almost 2 and 4 and things have changed - dd2 is soo challenging at times far more than dd1 was. I am glad it was that way round though