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Not sure whether to have a second child, any advice?(7 Posts)
We have an 8 month old ds and although we aren't thinking about another baby yet I suspect we will consider it in a year or two.
If money was no object then I wouldn't hesitate to have one more but We currently live in a 2 bedroom flat with no £ to move to a bigger flat or house. We also live in a poor school area which means either trying to get my ds into a different catchment school, trying to buy a new property or sending him to a fee paying school.
If we didn't have another child then we could stay where we are and lead a nice life and we could afford to give him everything that we want to in terms of education, holidays etc.
I am going back to work pt until he is in school so we will have less £ until then.
Anyway what do others do in this situation? Do you wait to see if you can afford another and if not then don't? Or do you just go for it and hope for the best?
I'm really torn but I'm in my late late 20s so I do have a few years to think about it and to hope my dh gets a promotion....
I think that, as long as you could afford to feed and look after another child, it has to be a heart decision rather than a head one. Second children don't cost so much to start with - you have all the stuff already. Maybe look into the future and think about how you see your family in 10 years time? But you have plenty of time to decide. We were undecided about a second, but as dd got older it was clear she would really benefit from having a sibling so we went for it (and he's gorgeous, we're so glad we did).
If I was in your situation I think moving into a different school catchment area in the next few years would be a priority, if the schools near you are so bad.
I think if you're not sure, then don't go for it.
I nothing would have stopped me going ahead and having my DC, because I really wanted them, and lack of space/holidays etc was not going to stop me.
In your situation, I think I would move to a bigger house in a better school area, and go from there.
I'm in a similar mindset as you but I'm almost 40.... Horrific pregnancy, was lucky to have one DD....and Not sure I can do it again. DH would have 20.
In your situation I'd wait maybe until your first is at school if that would make it easier financially. I have a 2.10 gap with mine and even with the free 15 hrs that my elder one got, once DC2 went to nursery it was a tough few months paying for them both (I work 3 days/week, childcare costs here are around £45/day and worked out at £940 for them both to go 3 days/week). We also lived in a 2 bed flat until my second was 6 months old. Plenty manage fine, but I think the lack of living space would have been more of an issue than them sharing a bedroom. We are now in a house, in a less nice area, but one with good schools. Time is on your side to think through how you can plan this out to work for you- in effect going with your heart but using your head too!
I had my first at 37 - hyperemisis pg followed by Emc, so not easy at all! But I am 1 of 4 and I couldn't imagine DS not have adult siblings as an adult..... That was my driver for having dd a few days before being 41. Hyperemisis followed by crash c section.
Given you're still under 30 I would say wait, save as much as you can, and see how things look in 2 years' time. Then again a year later and so on.
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