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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Is it normal for your toddler to drive you crackers?!

78 replies

teacher54321 · 30/12/2014 22:06

I have one ds, and all the usual disclaimers, he's gorgeous and bright and affectionate etc and doing really well. Doesn't whinge much, has occasional short lived tantrums so I certainly don't think he's any worse than any toddlers but don't know if my reaction is normal!

The sheer intensity of parenthood is Absolutely overwhelming for me, the fact that you are never off duty and dealing with general toddler irritations (running off at bathtime, not wanting to get dressed etc) all trivial in themselves but sometimes I just feel so cross which makes me sad. I don't want to be shouty mummy. But it's just so frustrating! Do other people feel like this too?!

OP posts:

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tethersend · 30/12/2014 22:09

Yes. Frequently.

Toddlers are cunts

teacher54321 · 30/12/2014 22:10

That's immediately made me feel better!!!

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Fairylea · 30/12/2014 22:13

Every second of every day.

I have a 2.5 year old and a 12 year old. The 12 year old is currently like a large version of the toddler - "mum does my hair look ok / mum can I have a 100th snack today / mum does my lip gloss look ok / mum look at this blog on you tube.. no look at this one".

I am close to sticking my head in a bucket of cement being home with them both over christmas. It is exhausting.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 30/12/2014 22:14

Yes Mine is the best toddler anyone could ever hope for, but still yes.

It's the snail like pace that everything is done at, because it has to be done "BY MY OWWWWWN" that kills me daily.

And, judging by your user name, your profession is the same as mine. I feel that other people's children get the patient, interested, patronisingly cheerful me whereas my own gets the dregs. That makes me feel very sad

LittleMissRayofHope · 30/12/2014 22:15

PMSL at tethersend. But true.

I contemplated leaving dd (2.5) in a shopping centre today. There's only so many times you can pick a toddler up off the floor and have them scream and cry 'I WANT TO GO HOME!' But they refuse to walk back to the car......

notonyourninny · 30/12/2014 22:15

Err.... Yes i'm on toddler no 4 and last. It hasn't got easier.

CarcerDun · 30/12/2014 22:16

Oh my god. DS (toddler) today had the most hysterical tantrum whilst stood at the top at dangerous cement outdoors stairs with no coat/hat/gloves on in the bitter cold. It started as I wanted to hold his hand, he wanted to walk on his own and not hold on to anything. Cue back arching tantrumtastic meltdown. I carried a planking toddler down stairs and into home where he collapsed and cried his heart out for twenty minutes.

There are no words. OP I feel your pain. I am told, they get older.

TheBookofRuth · 30/12/2014 22:17

Oh dear god yes. DD is adorable. She's sweet, funny, loving, clever - and makes me want to run away from home at least once a day. Being around her is just so draining. DH is off work at the moment, and commented at 9am that it felt more 3pm, in terms of how worn out she felt. Then an hour or so later he turned to me, wild-eyed, and asked "is she always this full on?"

Yes, yes she is!

notonyourninny · 30/12/2014 22:17

Me too fairy 13 year old here. Csn be a big version of my 2 year old but cost alot more.

teacher54321 · 30/12/2014 22:19

We also went to a shopping centre today-was a fucking nightmare. And yes to the previous poster the kids at school get the 'shiny happy me' and poor dh and ds get 'growly miserable me'.

I do feel sad though because Ds was naughty before his bath and I shouted at him. About 10 minutes later he said 'I'm sorry mummy, please don't shout' and I felt dreadful

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letsgetreadytoramble · 30/12/2014 22:21

Ohhhh yes. I love him to absolute pieces, but if he brings that Room on the Broom jigsaw set to me one more time and then refuses to let me help in any way because 'my do it my own', so that it takes 7 hours of painstaking time to do, I too will require a bucket of cement for my head. I frequently wonder how anyone has the patience for more than one child, and I had always thought of myself as a patient, gentle, motherly figure before... He makes me laugh about a zillion times a day too, so that makes up for it.

RonaldMcFartNuggets · 30/12/2014 22:21

I just had this exact conversation not half an hour ago.

I was working out how old I'll be when I'm 'free'

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 30/12/2014 22:22

Yes and mine told me the other day he was getting a new mum as I'm horrible, in my head I had already packed my suitcase

teacher54321 · 30/12/2014 22:23

It's the total lack of reasoning that gets me. I can't negotiate.

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letsgetreadytoramble · 30/12/2014 22:28

Don't worry about the shouting, they're designed to make you shout sometimes, it's how they learn what is acceptable and what isn't. They don't like the shouty mummy, so they won't repeat the naughty behaviour that incurred the shoutiness (er, in theory.)

queenofthepirates · 30/12/2014 22:43

EVERYTHING with my 3.5yo DD is poo poo, I am poo poo, grandparents are poo poo and on it goes. I love her dearly but I would swap her for a handful of magic beans. Every day she refuses to dress and has to be bribed into clothes. She cannot put her socks on. She whimpers painfully if I try to make her. She cannot leave the house just yet for Postman Pat has not finished. Not has Jess' Mini Beast Adventures but it's not Jess, it's Tree Fu Tom and I am wrong for suggesting that actually it is Jess. Before we leave she also must roll out some play do.

Once in the car she wants a sweetie and will kick the door of the car until she gets one. Except she doesn't want that sweetie, poo poo mummy has it wrong so I wrestle her into the car seat and run the risk of someone thinking I'm trying to kidnap her. In fact it might be a blessed relief if she were taken into protective custody just for half an hour so I could so the shopping. Oh and she's not going back to nursery after Christmas even though she desperately wants to see her friends. She's going to work in my shop instead. Like hell she is. Can we go to Grandma's now please?

Back home she only wants yoghurt for tea. Fine I'm too tired to care. She eats six. I manage to get some cheese in by telling her it's Tree Fu Tom cheese. My main victory of the day.

Fairylea · 30/12/2014 22:44

Ours had a major tantrum during Christmas dinner... It was only us at home so no big deal and we knew he probably wouldn't eat it but after 3 hours cooking it I dished it all up hopefully and before he'd even sat down he was shouting he wanted a tuna sandwich and rhyme rocket on the telly

We decided rather than listen to a tantrum during dinner (ha!) that we would go along with this, so I let my dinner get cold, made him a sandwich and settled us all in front of rhyme rocket.

1 minute later tantrum escapes as it's not the "one" episode of rr that he wants. Cue dh and I frantically trying to locate the perfect episode on you tube or iplayer all the while ds getting more and more upset.

In the end we couldn't find it, tuna sandwich went on the floor in a rage and he screamed non stop for an hour. We felt sorry for him as well as annoyed our own dinner went largely uneaten and in the bin. .....!

queenofthepirates · 30/12/2014 22:47

Oh I used to be a tour leader once upon a time and thought that the old ladies who woke me up at 2am to tell me their remote controls were missing were the most challenging thing ever. I used to think that getting tour groups through Israeli security was a challenge. That's all a walk in the park compared to a day with a toddler.

teacher54321 · 30/12/2014 23:22

He's getting revenge for my post by waking up and making lots of noise...

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okeydonkey · 30/12/2014 23:26

My totally drives me totally mad, I thought it was just mine. I'm in 3rd trimester of pregnancy and get shouty a lot. I'm struggling with bending, picking her up and chasing after her

Notgoodwithwords · 30/12/2014 23:32

I'm so relieved to read this thread.. I had started to think there was something wrong with my parenting because ds. Almost 3 yrs drives me to the edge of sanity practically everyday!!! Glad to read that his behaviour is normal & my feeling like I'm losing the plot is normal too...

teacher54321 · 30/12/2014 23:44

Well we've just had proper hysteria at getting ds back into bed after having woken up. No idea what was the matter with him either. Not helped by dh coming home from a late shift just as I was coaxing him back into his cot! I was just beautifully fast asleep as well. Gah!

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letsgetreadytoramble · 31/12/2014 06:14

Mine woke 15 mins after yours, screaming for 'baby wabbit.' Since I have no idea what baby wabbit is, it took many renditions of a croaky, edge of hysteria twinkle twinkle to get him back to sleep. And then he properly woke at 5. Don't think we'll be staying up for the bells tonight somehow...

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 31/12/2014 06:57

Oh they are so lovely,so deliciously cute, so precious but no one can bring me to the brink quite as mine can (2&4).

I find that I go from 0-100. Most of the time I am very relaxed, patient and empathetic. But then sometime I just think "fuck it". And I get really shouty and impatient. The really frustrating thing is. ... It is so counter productive. The children get upset and I feel sick with guilt later on. On the upside, it can be quite effective!

BeakyMinder · 31/12/2014 07:11

Oh my, yes! Mine has been feeling poorly and has done nothing but shout angrily at us for the last week. It's like a prison camp guarded by a small psychopath.

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