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please tell me I'm not a bad mum!

(21 Posts)
silverandblack Mon 29-Dec-14 06:42:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Mon 29-Dec-14 06:48:02

Congratulations on baby and engagement!

Baby was safe at all times so no you certainly aren't a bad mum

Trooperslane Mon 29-Dec-14 08:41:28

She's a idiot. I had lots of lunches on mat leave which involved wine.

I'm not saying I got drunk, but alcohol in moderation is totally fine.

Tealady1983 Mon 29-Dec-14 08:43:21

Not a bad mum at all your friend sounds lovely though wink

dashoflime Mon 29-Dec-14 08:53:57

Your friend would love me! I was in the pub with Ds a few days after he was born. I have a photo of me breastfeeding him, while sinking a pint with my spare arm. I was advised by a Bf consultant that very little alcohol makes it into the milk and I took the advice to heart. (nct classes were worth it for that info alone IMO)
Two glasses in your own home, with another (sober) adult present is no problem at all. Your friend needs to get over herself. Congratulations on your new baby and engagement smile

fuctifino Mon 29-Dec-14 08:58:36

I'm tee total and don't think you did anything wrong.
Just because you've had a baby doesn't mean life as you know it should stop.
wine chin chin

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Mon 29-Dec-14 09:23:43

You are fine. I would say your friend has ishooos of some sort

silverandblack Mon 29-Dec-14 09:36:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QTPie Mon 29-Dec-14 15:01:20

Nothing wrong with the occasional drink - I did it when DS was small and I was breastfeeding. Didn't feel like it often or much.

The only things that you do have to be careful with are cosleeping (not advisable to drink and cosleep) and being extra careful not to fall asleep on the sofa with the baby etc. if there are others around - to look after you and the baby - then this is ideal smile

Quitethewoodsman Mon 29-Dec-14 15:12:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squizita Mon 29-Dec-14 19:25:15

She's being judgemental.

I had a glass of champagne when dd was "new". Went straight to my head but dh was looking after her!

Now I have a glass of wine or beer if I want some. Breastfeed on it too. Never get drunk, but one or two don't make a bad mum.

victoire1208 Mon 29-Dec-14 19:37:10

Judging a friend for having 2 glasses of wine to celebrate one of the best weeks of her life?! Cow.

Mouthfulofquiz Mon 29-Dec-14 19:41:44

You did nothing wrong. And your friend is a mis- informed judgey pants.
I type this having had a couple of glasses of wine tonight and breastfeeding my DS. All in moderation.
After I had this DS, I was fortunate to be discharged within a couple of hours. I came straight home and had some champagne for my efforts!
Congratulations on your baby and your engagement!! flowers

Redling Mon 29-Dec-14 19:45:30

I had a glass of champagne when I brought DS home when he was 24 hours old give or take. it's not something you'll able to do much when they are newborns (knackered, zombie etc!) so a glass or so when you have a chance is nothing. I'm tucking into some wine now as 4.5 month old DS is in bed and DH is doing the midnight feed so I'm good until at least 3am smile enjoy your new baby, it's magical, and at christmas and an engagement... Don't let anyone spoil it.

merlehaggard Mon 29-Dec-14 19:50:19

Of course not. I really don't like judgmental people.

weebigmamma Mon 29-Dec-14 20:09:06

Congratulations on the baby! :-D

You're not a bad mum, but you will face lots of judgemental looks and comments as a new mum. My mantra was 'I don't give a tiny rats ass'. I kept it as an inner mantra but looking back I probably could have done with voicing it now and again as well ;-)

A wise person said to me when I was pregnant: 'Try not to feel guilty about anything. But you will anyway because you can't escape it.' He was right- we are all human and you want to be a perfect mum to this perfect little baby, but you won't be. You will be good enough, however, and babies are incredibly forgiving! My oldest is now ten and she still loves me after all the millions of mistakes :-)

But having a bit of wine? Naw. You totally deserve that! X

KellyElly Mon 29-Dec-14 20:12:32

I didn't for ages but had really bad birth and it was the last thing I felt like. Am sitting here with my five year old now having movie night and she's having popcorn and I'm having my second glass of red grin

TheABC Mon 29-Dec-14 20:21:32

Good mums know when to enjoy themselves. A glass or two is fine!

LynetteScavo Mon 29-Dec-14 20:28:20

I think even GF says wine is ok...just not shots.

loafofbread Tue 30-Dec-14 00:49:41

You're not a bad mum at all! Enjoy he odd glass of wine... you deserve it! Ps A mug of mulled wine over Christmas and I was well away!

wigglylines Tue 30-Dec-14 02:21:37

Ah FFS ignore her. Judgemental nonsense!

Even if you're really drunk, the amount of alcohol in your breastmilk is about 0.01% IIRC. Not high enough to affect the baby.

The greatest risk from drinking while BFing is dropping your baby because you're pissed (not to be underestimated as a risk!). The baby doesn't get any harmful effects from a couple of glasses of wine via your milk, however. despite what judgemental so-called "mates" might think.

Congratulations on your beautiful baby btw flowers

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