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Please can someone help me deal with the whinging?!!

(9 Posts)
notmuchofaclue Wed 24-Dec-14 12:25:14

Dd is 2.5 and I think that my brain is gradually being melted by the relentless sound of her whinging. I just can't bare it! Her immediate default in any situation is to screech or whinge - e.g. if she can't do something or wants attention - even if the person she wants attention from is already giving it to her. It's not even like she tries to get it then resorts to shouting/whinging when she doesn't get it. The thing is I just don't know how to stop it. I pull her up on it every time and tell her that she doesn't need to use that voice and that it's not going to get her what she wants. I always make her ask for what she wants nicely first. My OH however goes for the route of ignoring the whinging and carrying on as normal (which will often mean doing what she's whinging about, which drives me mad) or trying to find out what's wrong with her. I think this is just pandering to her, but in his defence, my route to dealing with it makes no difference whatsoever either. Nothing seems to work and it's been going on for so long now (well over a year) that I need to find some way of dealing with it. She is a lot more whingey than every other child we come across and it gets a bit boring being the one whose child is kicking off/moaning all the time when everyone else's is sitting there nicely. She is also always a lot worse when we are away from home, which makes holidays etc. typically miserable.
If anyone has any advice/strategies/help to offer I would be very grateful to hear it!

lolalotta Wed 24-Dec-14 12:30:12

Do you whinge back at her? It's an easy trap to fall in. I catch my self doing it if my DD is being particularly tiresome and then I realise I am modelling the very tone of voice I DON'T want her to use!

notmuchofaclue Wed 24-Dec-14 12:38:32

Well I try to use a calm normal voice when telling her not to whinge but it could well sound calm and normal in my head, but actually come out exasperated and perhaps a bit moany!! I will try harder to stop that happening!

TipsyMcStaggers Wed 24-Dec-14 12:41:35


Sorry blush they're a pain in the arse aren't they. My 5mo DD screeches and screams, it goes right through me.

Sorry I've got no constructive advice flowers

Blondebiker4685 Wed 24-Dec-14 12:44:41

Give her more intense and positive attention.

Paraphrase what she's saying in a kind, polite and fair way. Don't demand she copies you though.

Blondebiker4685 Wed 24-Dec-14 12:49:55

Also are you whingy? If you are, she will copy.

Break up the whinging by surprising her a little. Have fun, be stupid. Give her an invisible biscuit if she want a real one, swoop her up like a big gorilla complete with monkey sounds if she's refusing to somewhere, make her into an aeroplane/pony/dog/unicorn and you can be a magical animal trainer.

Also tell her when she can have or do something.

'I want xxx now'

'yes you can have xxx after tea tomorrow/after you are in your PJ's/after the food shop'

Blondebiker4685 Wed 24-Dec-14 12:51:36

Also consistency.

Don't give in with nagging otherwise you create huge whinging problems

lolalotta Wed 24-Dec-14 12:54:29

Blonde has some good tips, playful parenting is a good read Parenting

notmuchofaclue Wed 24-Dec-14 12:58:17

Urgh maybe I am a whinger myself, I don't know! Right now I feel like a grumpy moany old feck so there's every possibility. I'll try some of those other tips too, especially the earplugs wink.

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