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Custody of my child

(8 Posts)
Robbiesixty7 Wed 17-Dec-14 20:10:00

I was wondering if anybody had any advice on the following.
I split up with my daughters mum when my daughter was approximately 2 years old (we were never married) My daughter is now 15 and a half and spends a minimum of 3 nights with me per week. I have always paid her mum the amount we agreed and have never missed a payment, in fact I also pay for almost everything else i.e. horse riding, clothes, social event etc. Her mum doesn't take her anywhere, not even doctor appointments or the orthodontist, it is always down to me. The CSA have never been involved.
My question is that my daughter wants to live with me full time when she is 16 (she has told her mum this) and I have been told that because I haven't got "parental responsibilities" her mum can disagree, I believe her mum is only worried about loosing the money I pay her. How would do I stand if my daughter moves in with me when she is 16 and I stop the maintenance payments? I would not want to go to court over this as we have always been amicable towards each other and I wouldn't want to drag my daughter through this.
Any help would be grateful. Thank you.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Wed 17-Dec-14 20:17:39

When she is sixteen she is perfectly entitled to live wherever she wants without you or her mother's permission.

purpleroses Wed 17-Dec-14 20:22:05

I think she can choose to live with you and her mum would have to go to court to get her back. She would be very unlikely to succeed unless she could prove that your DD was actually at risk with you.

You could then simply stop the payments to her mum. You could also, of you wished, claim child support off her mum via the CSA - though whether it would be worth the upset it might cause probably depends how much she earns and how much you need the money. You can and should claim child benefit for your DD if she's still in education.

Robbiesixty7 Wed 17-Dec-14 20:38:08

Hi and thank you for your replies.
I am led to believe that she can leave home at 16 but only with parental permission from the responsible parent? She will still be in education until she is 18 but I have no interest in claiming child support from her mum.

DancingDinosaur Wed 17-Dec-14 20:44:47

Are you on the birth certificate?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Wed 17-Dec-14 20:48:11

I am led to believe that she can leave home at 16 but only with parental permission from the responsible parent?

That is incorrect. She can leave home at 16 without parental permission. However, parent/s responsible for her until 18, so if it is belived she has moved from home into an unsafe accommodation the parent can ask for her to be returned home.

Greengrow Wed 17-Dec-14 21:03:03

Children over 13 or 14 usually can choose which parent.
However check if there is a court order on contact as you may need that varied by the court and before stopping a payment child if there is a court order about it as breach is a serious offence. Again if there is then you apply to court to vary the order. If not then yes stop the payments.

I also suggest you make her visit her mother rather than cutting all contact which would be cruel.

The msot important thingo f all is her GCSEs in the summer. Her school, you her and her mother should all be working together to ensure they are as high as possbile. If the move will make it harder for her to do well in them postpone the move until July.

Robbiesixty7 Wed 17-Dec-14 21:24:41

Thank you all so much.
I am on the birth certificate but as she was born before 2002 I don't automatically have parental responsibility.
There is no court orders and her mother and I have always been amicable with each other and I wouldn't dream of moving her in until after her exams. She would still want to visit her mum and I obviously have no objections to this.
I will have to seek professional advice to be sure but thanks again for you comments, they have been very helpful.

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