4 month old and toddler don't sleep during the day. Am a broken woman

[Vespar7]

Hi, I have just burst into inconsolable tears in front on my 2 year old and am feeling awful for making her watch that. The problem is that DS who is 4 months only catnaps for 10-15 minutes at the very most during the day. DD is 2 and will happily sleep for an hour in the afternoon but I have to lie down with her for about 10 minutes for her to fall asleep. Since birth DS has always refused to sleep stay quietly for these 10 minutes. He is so noisy that DD can't fall asleep and if I bring him in with us it's no better. I am absolutely exhausted. I am up through the night with DS then up for the day at 6:30 with DD. I don't get literally a minutes peace till about 8 when they are both in bed. I physically can't do it anymore. I have tried putting DD down at different times, waiting till DS is already asleep but nothing works. I have resorted to walking around town for 1/2 hours so that they both sleep but it is cold these days! Any ideas would be welcome!

[jessthefletch]

I have no real practical advice for you but bumping as this sounds so draining. I do sympathise. Do you think if the three of you just snuggled up in front of a dvd for a bit when ds is feeding, your toddler might nod off or will she only nap when it's quiet / in bed? xx

[queenofthepirates]

At 2 yo, a toddler should be able to self settle for a nap so perhaps work on that for starters?

[KERALA1]

I would get tougher with the older child all this lying down with her you just can't. Put her in cot and leave for an hour or so. I used to do this with my pfb but couldn't sustain it when dd2 arrived

[jessthefletch]

I meant during her normal nap time but with her thinking it's 'quiet time' and a treat but a really calming choice of dvd with the volume down and a warm blanket or even a hot water bottle to make it properly comfy and warm and hopefully sleep would then come naturally!

[pinkglitter80]

I was in v similar position a few wks ago. hopefully improving now by encouraging baby to self settle in cot (looking for first tired signs, and then lessening time to put them down - find something toddler likes even TV so you get time to do this) and then I have to take both out in buggy for toddler nap but second half she is deep enough asleep to allow it to be in a coffee shop etc... Good luck sleep deprivation is horrid we now need to sort out our nights ..

[pinkglitter80]

and easier said than done I know but try and look after yourself eg some TV for them so you can have a cuppa, early nights - get dp to sort house stuff etc in evenings -, get him to take them both for half a day at weekend - I got totally exhausted and pnd. touch wood on way up now thanks to supportive dh. hugs xx