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How did you survive having a newborn and an early wakening toddler? Really need advice!

(20 Posts)
dottytablecloth Wed 17-Dec-14 11:49:23

Have ds 22 months and newborn dd 1 week.

I'm fine now as dh on paternity leave but I'm absolutely DREADING him going back to work. sad

Dd is obviously awake for long spells at night but if I'm up with her dh will get up with toddler in morning. My toddler is up at between 5 and 6 every day.

How on earth am I going to cope with this when dh is working again? [confused[

Any advice very welcome!

Seeline Wed 17-Dec-14 11:53:14

Bad mummy alert grin

My DS used to come in to our room, sit on the end of the bed and watch Milkshake on C5 (pre-freeview and CBeebies on tap and Milkshake started at 5.30!!)
DD would wake up for a feed at about 6 so I could feed her in bed, pop her back in her cot and doze for a while, and DS was kept happy. When DD woke again, or I was ready, DS and I would go and have breakfast, and then get ready to start the day at a more civilised hour.

AnythingNotEverything Wed 17-Dec-14 11:57:10

Congratulations dotty!
I'll have a similar age gap next year so watching closely.

Stripylikeatiger Wed 17-Dec-14 12:05:27

I have the same age gap, what time does your dp have to leave for work? Could he get up with the toddler?

Our solution is that the toddler goes to nursery 3 mornings a week, dp gets up with the toddler and drops him at nursery and I pick him up after his nap, I feel guilty some days but my newborn takes hours and hours to breastfeed so the alternative is the toddler sitting at home all day whilst the baby feeds.

AggressiveBunting Wed 17-Dec-14 12:10:18

Same age gap. To be honest, as I had a really short mat leave anyway (not UK), I kept my childcare, primarily so I could keep the same nanny, but the added benefit was that I could still "sleep when the baby sleeps". DD was a terrible sleeper so it was a lifesaver. Are you on mat leave or a SAHM? If DS is used to being in nursery/ at childminder, is it an option to let him go, say, 2 mornings a week, just to give you those few extra hours potential sleep?

HumphreyCobbler Wed 17-Dec-14 12:13:55

mY dh got up with the toddler even though he was working, he just went to bed early.

Mrsantithetic Wed 17-Dec-14 12:22:34

Dd 2 and ds 4 months here.

I just get up and start the day. It takes me two coffees. Carry baby down in his sleeping bag until he is ready to wake up but once he is 6 months I'll probably start leaving him upstairs with the monitor. Dd watches telly whilst I pull myself round.

She's only just started sleeping through more nights than she doesn't and she's 2 and 3 months. Ds wakes 2/3 times a night and both are breast fed.

I think I'm just used to being sleep deprived of I'm honest. I would recommend you get dressed etc straight away. I always feel like death until I've hot sorted. I think it kind of switches my day mode on wink

dottytablecloth Wed 17-Dec-14 13:55:24

Husband leaves for work at 4am three times a week so he won't be able to get up.

I'm lucky that ds is with a childminder twice a week, so I'll use those days to catch up on sleep.

It's good to know there are others who have survived it!

stressbucket1 Wed 17-Dec-14 14:01:28

I had this and spent a few days with a 3am start as Dd2 would wake for a feed struggle to settle her back off and by that time Dd1 would be up! Only solution here was to go to bed at 8pm shortly after toddler and get dh to do a late feed then bring dd2 up to bed about 12.

Juno213 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:33:39

We're the same. Dh and I take it in turns to get up with the toddler so at least one of us gets to stay in bed until 7ish. We're probably very bad parents as we put the tv on, make strong coffee and have a couple of hours of not doing much before everyone's awake. I also made sure quite early on that both dc are asleep by 7 so we get a rest after a long day.

Juno213 Wed 17-Dec-14 15:37:57

Oh, and on days like today, where dd has hit a growth spurt (please let it just be a growth spurt) and was awake every 90mins and ds got up at 5, I make an effort to go out in the morning when we all have energy, tidy up a bit over lunch so I feel like I've done something productive and we are now just vegging out watching a film.

TerrifiedMothertobe Wed 17-Dec-14 21:23:32

Same age gap. iPad saved me for the last year. Baby is now 1 and toddler is 3, we have had a week of 730'starts, but before that ut was two years of 5am. I am sure it will break.

Good luck and load up the cartoons/ peppa pig. It's survival.

TortoiseInAShell Wed 17-Dec-14 23:44:57

I treat a 5 am start as the middle of the night and sometimes I get away with it! 6am is a bit trickier though hmm

fortifiedwithtea Thu 18-Dec-14 02:43:06

DD1 was a early riser. Not now though, she's 16, haha lucky to see her before noon.

Back in the day of 5.30 - 6.00am starts she loved dinosaurs. We taught her how to work the video machine and watch The Mysterious Beyond fgrin

LillianGish Thu 18-Dec-14 07:47:53

Television is your friend! Let toddler watch at low volume while you doze/feed baby. Actually we never had a TV in the bedroom, but lived in apartment so just slunk next door on to sofa (in fact come to think of it sometimes slept on sofa bed for this reason! It's a while ago now). In fact it was my second one who was the earliest of early risers. We lived in Germany so no CBeebies back then - used to put on the longest Thomas the Tank DVD and snooze on the sofa next to him (he can still remember this). Just wanted to add the Mumsnet mantra - this too will pass. It won't last forever (though it might feel like it at times!) - you just have to go to bed early yourself and try and enjoy it because really there is nothing nicer in the world than being snuggled up with your LOs and they will never be this small again. Mine are 13 and 11 now and just starting to lie in - but was looking back over old Christmas albums this week and would give anything for a couple of early mornings with them when they were that age. My mum's best advice was to make the most of every age because it is like holding on to water - it slips through your fingers and you can never get it back.

standingonlego Thu 18-Dec-14 13:41:11

Peppa pig...could not have survived without it

waterrat Thu 18-Dec-14 20:53:33

Lilliangish that is a lovely post .. I have 6 month old and 2.5 year old and need to be reminded sometimes that one day I will look back fondly!

Yy to peppa ..

Op on a positive note I have not found it to be too hard - toddler has started sleeping later thank god and baby sleep deprivation has not been too bad I think because my standards are lower ! I'm just used to being tired

If your partner can get the toddler up - he can then bring them into you bed when he goes to work and you can all snuggle up with peppa !

Havingabeer Thu 18-Dec-14 21:20:08

Yep. Toddler two nursery days , for now. 20 months and. 3 months

Nevercan Sat 20-Dec-14 20:30:51

Loads of coffee grin

BikeRunSki Sat 20-Dec-14 20:33:05

Red Bull and carbs, mainly flapjack.

I havn't had an unbroken nights sleep in over 3 years.

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