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How to make DD more outgoing!

(12 Posts)
TwoPrincesses87 Sat 13-Dec-14 21:33:50

I could use input anyone has. My DD is 3 years old. She is really lovely and goes to nursery 3 days a week. At home and with other extended family she is very outgoing, playful, always speaks her mind. However at nursery and other social situations she becomes very quiet. She still plays just find with other children but she just seems to lose her voice! Just the other day I watched her for a few min at drop off (unknowingly to her) and while the other kids came to smile and chat with her she was just responding with head/hand gestures. When I prompt her before going somewhere she usually does better. I know I might be looking into this too much but I just worry as she starts reception this year that her quietness will be mistaken for unintelligence. I have spoken with nursery staff and they say hrs although she is one of the quieter ones she is completely happy and normal. Any thoughts or suggestions?

LuckyLopez Sat 13-Dec-14 21:44:17

Leave her.

Honestly there's nowt wrong with bring quiet.

My eldest is very intelligent, confident and happy. But quiet. His old teacher used to often ask how we could 'maje him more outgoing' but I never understood why. We can't and shouldn't all be the same. The world needs introverts and we should respect their natural personalities.

As long as she knows to speak up when necessary, leave her.

bigbadbarry Sat 13-Dec-14 21:49:15

Agree with lopez: some of us are just quiet.
However, my DD2, charming, chatty and outgoing at home, did not say one word for two terms at preschool. Eventually she was persuaded to whisper. She's now 8 and bonkers! You wouldn't know it was the same child. I wouldn't worry

Goingintohibernation Sat 13-Dec-14 21:54:58

As the others said, you don't need to do anything. Please don't make her think that being quiet is wrong, or bad. I was a painfully shy child. I eventually became a confident adult, but am still quiet. It has taken me a very long time to realise that that is just how I am and that's OK.

Asleeponasunbeam Sat 13-Dec-14 21:55:49

I used to feel like this about my DD, who is very entertaining and loud within the family, but quiet and shy out of the home.

I did nothing but keep her close and be with her. Didn't push anything much, although did have expectations like if she chose to do ballet she stuck with it for a term, and she did have to go to nursery (part time). Nursery was in a very child centred setting though and parents were very involved.

The arrival of her brother changed things. He is the very opposite and this seems to have given her confidence. And she's got older.

I was able to keep her out of school until second term of reception. She is now in year one and very happy in school. Since last Christmas she has been much more outgoing with wider family. Last week she even went to visit our neighbours on her own. She has been going to parties on her own for a while.

Don't worry, just be encouraging I think.

GristletoeAndWhine Sat 13-Dec-14 21:56:32

Why do you think she will be deemed unintelligent? Are teachers not experienced with children and their differing levels of confidence socially? Don't worry about it and let her develop at her own pace.

Asleeponasunbeam Sat 13-Dec-14 21:58:54

Well, to be fair gristle there is a tendency for people/ society to favour the more outgoing amongst us.

GristletoeAndWhine Sat 13-Dec-14 22:04:21

Yes, but this child is 3 years old. And evidently socialising normally with family. So "making DD more outgoing" just shouldn't be on the agenda right now.

Asleeponasunbeam Sat 13-Dec-14 22:08:51

I agree, but the op was concerned that school would think her 'unintelligent'. Some people might, very wrongly of course.

PossumPoo Sat 13-Dec-14 22:19:35

Seriously OP?

My first MN biscuit

Her quietness might be mistaken for being unintelligent? You sound delightful.

Legodino Sat 13-Dec-14 22:29:38

She sounds like a sensitive child. Sensitive children tend to reflect, observe and have a need to feel centred and secure before opening up.

Teachers won't think a quiet child is academically less able.

TwoPrincesses87 Sun 14-Dec-14 03:15:17

Thanks for the replies, I understand that it is perfectly normal and I'm not doing anything except being encouraging when we speak to people in public places.

luckylopez...your point at the end is why I was asking for opinions in the first place..I don't know if she does speak up when she needs to. This past week after coming home from nursery she has mentioned some minor incidents with kids..and when I asked her how she responded she said she didn't do anything or tell anyone. I'm not trying to turn her into a loud chatty child because I know that's not her, I just want her to become confident within herself.

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