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Help please - is this bullying ?

(12 Posts)
dingalong Thu 11-Dec-14 23:53:49

I'm just looking for feedback as I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant and very hormonal

Dd 5 (just started school), came home from school crying about how she hates school. This has been going on and off for the last few weeks

She's had some problems with a girl in her class (were buddies but dd asked to be moved after other girl hit her)

This girl is making constant comments eg dd's drawings are scribbles, she's too noisy (singing at concert), she's no good at school. Apparently she told the teacher that my dd has knocked her down (but dd says that girl fell on purpose and told teacher.) She's encouraging dd's friend to run off on dd with her.

I was so upset hearing this, I feel I should talk to the teacher, but what can I say.
I've seen this girls (appalling ) behaviour in my own house, at a never to be repeated play date (pre-punch) and dd is a very good judge of character so I trust she's not lying to me.

Any advice

BuzzardBirdRoast Fri 12-Dec-14 00:01:07

I feel you should talk to the teacher too. Anything that makes your child not want to go to school needs sorting. The girl might have issues at home as her behaviour sounds similar to a child who put my DD through similar and it escalated quite badly. I trusted the school to sort it and they didn't. I also had to exclude her from coming to our home as she physically attack my DD once they were alone.

Coyoacan Fri 12-Dec-14 00:06:49

Talk to the teacher, I find that an unusual level of bullying for 5 year olds and I would say that the other little girl must have serious problems at home.

dingalong Fri 12-Dec-14 00:17:13

Thanks, I don't think there are problems at home, she's highly indulged and very manipulative eg after her behaviour in my house, she came running up to me in the playground and threw her arms around me (first time ever) and has brought me flowers. She's never apologised to dd for her behaviour but I felt she was trying 'to get me on her side'

I don't know - can a 5 year old be that manipulative ?

dingalong Fri 12-Dec-14 00:21:00

She's done things like take a stick dd was playing with in the plsyground after school and break it - then she started crying (as if she had a toy broken).

LittleLionMansMummy Fri 12-Dec-14 07:27:10

I don't know about bullying but she doesn't sound very nice and i think I'd encourage your dd to play with other children instead and ignore this girl. I'd also speak to the teacher.

dingalong Fri 12-Dec-14 08:57:08

Dd had a chat with dh and she doesn't want me to say anything - so I'll hold off. If we can get to Christmas then the other girl is going to visit family for 3 weeks so it will be 6 weeks without contact as I'm turning down her mum's playdate requests due to tiredness. Her mum is lovely, so just saying I'm too tired now (which is true)

I just hope it's run it's course by the time she's back from her trip

BuzzardBirdRoast Fri 12-Dec-14 10:24:59

With all due respect, your DD is 5, she has no idea how to handle this situation. It's not like the teacher is going to question anyone is it, she/he would just be keeping an eye on the situation and will probably speak to the playtime supervisors to do likewise.
There would be nothing wrong at all with mentioning to the Mum that her daughter seems to have taken a 'dislike' to your child. A decent Mum would then speak to her daughter and address the poor behaviour. It's up to you of course but you did ask for advice on here.

dingalong Fri 12-Dec-14 11:15:41

Buzzard, I want to rush in there and sort it for her but I'm trying to be measured (very hard), I still might have a word with the teacher but I must practise (I don't want to cry which is very possible due to lack of sleep and hormones sad

BuzzardBirdRoast Fri 12-Dec-14 11:19:53

I am sure the teacher will be very understanding. I just wouldn't want your DD to end up like mine did which also started at the age of 4. She is now 7 and I still have to keep an eye on things. At parents evening her new teacher wasn't even aware that my DD has been bullied for the last three years. The child acts in a similar way to the child in your case. Runs up to me in the playground and asks if she can come to tea. I have to say to her that she knows why she cannot come to tea. (She smashed DD around the face with a lamp)

tumbletumble Fri 12-Dec-14 11:20:22

I would definitely have a chat with the teacher. No need to make a big deal of it or use the word 'bullying', just say that your DD has been upset a few times by this girl and ask her to keep an eye on it.

dingalong Fri 12-Dec-14 14:48:34

I saw the behaviour again at school collection so had a word. The teacher had observed some behaviour. Turns out dd had been singled out for singing her heart out at the concert so teacher said the comments made sense (just jealously). She's going to have a chat with class but didn't want to make a bigger deal (with Christmas and other girl heading away). She didn't want to involve other parents yet (which I agreed with). This hopefully should resolve but we've a class party on Sunday so I might stick around for a bit rather than just dropping off.

Only had tears once or twice but teacher was v understanding of hormones smile

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