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Second child turned me into mumzilla

(9 Posts)
BazilGin Wed 10-Dec-14 20:07:08

I am writing it with teary eyes. So my DD1 is 3 and DS2 just turned 6 months. He is in this annoying stage when he can't sit unsupported but is too big for bouncer/activity gym. Anyway, apart from having to constantly hold him, he wakes up lots and hates sleeping in his cot, I gave up and co sleep mostly but I still wake up exhausted. Naps are non existent at home, unless he falls asleep on the boob and is held. Out and about he sleeps in the carrier or falls asleep in the car.
Anyway, to cut the long story short, I just feel so constantly stressed. I feel I can't give my DD enough undivided attention and it shows in her behaviour.
We used to have such fantastic relationship and since DS was born it's not the same. I miss being chilled out mama and having lots of patience. Just done bedtime, unfortunately shouted a bit because baby was screaming hungry and DD didn't comply with any calm/polite requests about getting in and out of bath etc.
The thing is, it's not her fault, i feel so sorry for her as I am writing this. I know this sounds terrible but I miss her and I miss there being just the two of us.
Just started blw with DS as well, with stressed me out too, he is not interested in anything, just flings food everywhere and makes terrible mess.
I wish I was a better mum for them both sad
Thank you for reading my rant!

LittleMissRayofHope Wed 10-Dec-14 20:15:26

Total absolute snap.

Dd 2.4 DS 12 weeks.

I feel like I've done something awful to dd by having DS. I was her world and was kind, gentle patient etc. Now she gets told off and rushed around. Feel like a shit mum.

No advice other then take it slow.
We're not scarring them for life.

NoodieRoodie Wed 10-Dec-14 20:18:54

Rant away!

I've been eternally grateful that DS (3) was like this and then DD (13 months) was a calm and chilled baby.

It's hard now though that DD is walking but not happy to play by herself but DS doesn't want her playing with him. I'm separating and refereeing constantly and poor DS gets shouted even though I can't expect him to understand the "she's only little make allowances" concept!!!

I just keep telling myself that things will get better at least I bloody hope they will

Ginrummy Wed 10-Dec-14 20:27:01

I feel for you. I was terribly shouty and stressed when dd was a baby and my ds was 5. It's so difficult and even more so if the baby isn't napping.
I just wanted to say that it does get easier. I often - and sometimes still do, 2 1/2 years later - almost felt like I was cheating on him, like having an affair. But now I'm calmer. Life settles down. The baby will be sitting and crawling really soon so there's light at the end of the tunnel.

homeappliance Wed 10-Dec-14 20:28:59

I felt very much like you when my two were younger. There's 2 and a half years between my ds and dd, and I felt such guilt that my relationship with ds changed when dd was born. I too was the "chilled out, patient, fun Mummy" and then dd came along and I became "shouty, irritable, exhausted Mummy". The unplanned co-sleeping with dd didn't help, I was grouchy and guilty that ds didn't get the same cuddles etc...

Two years on and things are easier, not perfect but easier!. Ds and dd can play together, appreciate one another's company more and they do each other. We do have sibling rivalry, and the guilt doesn't entirely go away! I think the turning point came when dd went from being a bad sleeper to a good sleeper. More sleep = happy mummy!

homeappliance Wed 10-Dec-14 20:31:31

That was meant to read "they do love each other".

BazilGin Thu 11-Dec-14 06:35:44

Thanks for your replies, it's reassuring. I know it will get better, it alteady has since DS was a newborn, but it's exhausting and the fact he is not napping doesn't help.

scew Thu 11-Dec-14 07:08:19

I don't have any advice, wish I did. But I am in the same boat. DD just turned 3 and baby DD is 4 months. I feel like DD 3 gets the brunt of everything. Add in a DSS who's 5 and the poor girl is like piggy in the middle. I miss the relationship we had before and feel terribly guilty at times when she's in bed and I can recall a day telling her off for every little thing. But I also think her age is a testing age and that doesn't help. Hugs xx

scew Thu 11-Dec-14 07:09:00

DSD that should have said x

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