Advanced search

What's for lunch today? Take inspiration from Mumsnetters' tried-and-tested recipes in our Top Bananas! cookbook - now under £10

Find out more

Potty training help needed! (Please)

(12 Posts)
MyIronLung Wed 10-Dec-14 17:18:21

I'm sure this topic has been done to death but i can't find anything at the moment and im tearing my hair out!

DS is 3.4 and I'm trying to get him to use the potty. It needs to be done because he will be starting reception next September and I don't want to risk leaving it so late that he has to start school in nappies.

He hates the potty with a passion and seems terrified of the big toilet, even with a toddler seat on it. I'm trying to stay calm with him and not make using the potty into a battle but it's not easy.
He doesn't care about weeing or pooing in his pants, doesn't seem to feel uncomfortable or cold, ect.
I've been leaving him naked from the waist down (or just pants on) if at home but at pre school he's fully dressed with pants on.

I'm not sure if he really understands the feeling of needing a wee and so doesn't tell or ask to go to the potty or toilet (at pre school) or if he just doesn't care.

One more thing, Ds is VERY stubborn! I've been trying to sit him on the potty every 20 minutes or so and asking him in between if he needs a wee or poo. He's obviously as sick of this as I am because as soon as the potty, wee or poo is mentioned he switches off. It's like he's suddenly become deaf and I end up getting cross with him because he won't answer me/ignores me. When he does answer me he just says he doesn't need to go but 5 mins later he'll wet himself.

I'm at my wits end and feel like it's all going the wrong way. I'm stressed, DS ends up upset and neither of us is in any way happy!

Any tips would be very welcome

startwig1982 Wed 10-Dec-14 17:23:18

With ds (toilet trained at 2.10) we went straight to toilet and he got a small chocolate biscuit each time he did a wee, 2 for a poo. It took a couple of weeks and now he goes with no expectation of a biscuit. Maybe he's just not ready? Leave it another month?

WowserBowser Wed 10-Dec-14 17:24:56

My DS was the same.

We decided to give it another go when he was just over 3.5. We didn't force him to do anything. Just told him where the potty was and let him get on with it.

That time, I never made him sit on it or anything. Didn't even mention it. He started using it.

He is VERY stubborn so I think this approach helped.

BoysRule Wed 10-Dec-14 17:25:05


Both of my DSs hated being asked if they needed a wee so I just let them tell me. Pick something he really likes (chocolate for mine!) and tell him he can have it if he does a wee on the potty. I had to give a chocolate about 3 times and then they did it without needing a reward.

If this doesn't work I would get him checked out by a GP as if you think he doesn't know there might be something medically wrong.

You still have a while until he starts Reception so don't fret - even if he isn't dry until August it really won't matter.

MyIronLung Wed 10-Dec-14 17:50:51

Thanks for the replies. flowers

wowser I'm going to stop asking him and just let him figure out when he needs to go. I'm beginning to think it's a case of he knows how much I want him to do it so he doesn't want to! grin

start and boys bribery is definitely the way forward I think.

I'm now off to find my zen. I'm sure it's here somewhere...

mrsm22 Wed 10-Dec-14 19:28:30


I'm in a slightly similar situation, well some of that is similar! My DS is 3 after xmas and starts pre school nursery mid Jan and we are trying desperately to nail the toilet training. I had to respond as my DS is very stubborn and self-willed too and only does what he wants. He has disliked the potty so far completely but is quite happy and excited by going up to the toilet each time to wee. We started last weds so been a week and if say we are nearly there. When we go out he wears pants and I just take a spare pair and spare trousers in case, but so far no accidents! Like you, when we are at home he wears no pants and we just ask him every ten mins if he needs a wee and we go have a try. If he doesn't lie the potty scrap it and just encourage the loo. What I would say is bribery is key, I keep telling my DS that he can have this and that at xmas when Santa comes if he keeps going to the toilet. When he gets tired he gets silly and starts ignoring me if I ask him if he needs a wee.
It's getting him to poo in the toilet that's an issue as the wee's are fine but I don't know how to get him to understand that he needs to do that in the toilet and not on the floor!

MyIronLung Thu 11-Dec-14 11:09:20

mrsm thanks for replying.

If DS keeps resisting the potty I'll definatly try the toilet. How long did it take for your Ds to start telling you that he needed to go? That seems to be the problem, DS just doesn't tell me!

We're on trousers and pants No 3 so far today <sigh>

mrsm22 Thu 11-Dec-14 22:31:38

We started the potty/toilet training about a week ago and I'd say it's only the last couple of days that DS has told me once or twice that he wants to go upstairs for a wee! But he doesn't tell me every time abd I do have to ask him every ten mins or so. I know if I didn't ask him he would just forget I think and wee himself. I don't think potty training is easy I have to say, but we all get there in the end. I think they probably don't like to be asked all the time, I get that impression from my DS. Most of the time when I ask if he needs a wee he says 'not yet mama'. When you're just at home I wouldn't bother with pants or trousers as its easier that way to get then either to the toilet or on the potty. Otherwise you just end up with wet trousers all day. We went out this morning so I quickly put DS in pants and trousers and he stayed dry and went to the toilet while we were out but when we came home I took his trousers back off. I wonder how long it takes to get them fully toilet trained. Do you let your DA choose which pants he wants to wear? Just thought it might help as my DS has Gruffalo pants and likes to choose the pair he likes.

mrsm22 Thu 11-Dec-14 22:32:27

Sorry, typo in my post above. Obviously I meant to say DS and not DA.

MyIronLung Thu 11-Dec-14 23:50:41

We're only on day 4 so I suppose i can't expect too much at the moment but my God, it's hard!

DS has special pants and he likes to choose which ones to wear. He'll also tell me "not yet mummy" when I ask him if he needs to go and then 5 mins later wet himself

I just keep repeating to myself that we'll get there in the end!

KatyN Fri 12-Dec-14 06:55:01

We tried about 3 months ago and me son hated the potty, screamed when we suggested it.. Utter failure.
A fortnight ago we started leaving him without trousers or a nappy on at home and then this weekend went for pants out of the house. He got a sticker for trying to sit on the potty, or a wee or a poo and a massive fanfare every time.

Can you pause fr a month, especially if he's stubborn? Then go back in with bribes a plenty? Sept,ber is quit q long way away?


Jaffakake Fri 12-Dec-14 21:43:39

My friend, who's based in Thailand, says they start by doing it for an hour, then two etc & slowly build it up over time. Maybe it's worth a go so he gets to try & concentrate on that for a short amount of time & not get hassled the rest of the time? Just a thought.

We found peer pressure worked. Ds goes to nursery & he tried at the same time as his best friend did & they cracked it together. For poops we used a star chart & at the end of the week he got to buy a toy from Hamleys. Ds responds very well to the idea of being a 'big boy'. You could also try & get him to copy his dad by weeing standing up. At this age it's doable.

Or... He could just not be ready & you need to try again in a couple of months. Once they get it, at this age they get it quickly & you've got time before September, so try not to let it get to you.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: