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What age did you get your children to start doing thank you letters

(34 Posts)
Livvylongpants Thu 04-Dec-14 10:04:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WowOoo Thu 04-Dec-14 10:43:29

Ds2 is 5 now and he will be writing short thank you letters this year.

Last year I wrote the message and he wrote his name. Before that I got him to draw a little picture.
So yes, I think if she just tries to write her name it would be greatly appreciated.
My relatives have said how nice it was to get a nice picture from ds and a card from him.

MeridianB Thu 04-Dec-14 11:07:27

I think you are absolutely right, Livvy.

I don't know anyone who would say "I got a stupid thank you card from mini Livvy" but there are certainly many who would appreciate hearing from you/her. In a world where the postbox has way more bills and junk mail than lovely personal letters, I hope thank you notes never disappear. But then I'm and old fashioned girl. blush

If she has lots of notes after Christmas maybe you could write them and she could sign them and/or draw some pics for people?

It's not about 'giving to get thanks'; sometimes a note lets the person know that the gift they posted did actually arrive. I posted presents to my Godson and his sister for 15 years and never had so much as a text message from the parents to let me know they had arrived safely, let alone any note of thanks. which didn't convince me to then buy the £40 PS games for them that they later demanded hmm

MeridianB Thu 04-Dec-14 11:08:27

Sorry, just noticed that Wowooo already suggested the name-writing and pics. Not enough caffeine yet!

Livvylongpants Thu 04-Dec-14 11:14:53

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Livvylongpants Thu 04-Dec-14 11:16:27

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SoonToBeSix Thu 04-Dec-14 11:18:23

They don't write letters , they have voices so thank verbally on the phone or in person. I think letters are very twee and dated.

Legionofboom Thu 04-Dec-14 11:19:53

I think writing a thank you letter is lovely. When my GM died we found a box with all the cards and letters she had ever received from her grandchildren. It was lovely to look back at.

My pet peeve though is that it is one thing to say thank you letters are outdated but saying thank you is certainly not. It is so easy to send a quick text and I am amazed at how often gifts never even get acknowledged. Not even just to say 'your parcel arrived this morning, I will put it under the tree' or some such.

lostintoys Thu 04-Dec-14 13:32:45

I think it's very important to write thank-you letters. It helps them to appreciate each gift and the effort that people have gone to to choose something for them. At three, my DS would tell me some nice things about each present and what he liked about them which I would write down, and he would add a picture. At 8, DS sits down willingly and writes very good thank you letters without any pressure. I know they mean a lot to the people who receive them.

Livvylongpants Thu 04-Dec-14 13:52:25

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WiggleGinger Thu 04-Dec-14 19:43:43

Oh absolutely do them!
They are lovely to receive.
Dd is shy so won't speak on the phone but adores writing & happily addressed the person & signs off in the card ( I write the but in the middle for many reasons , time/ make it legible)
I don't think its twee.
A text is great but if you are both willing to put pen to paper then I say go for it!

Livvylongpants Thu 04-Dec-14 22:45:55

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Catmint Thu 04-Dec-14 22:54:39

We bought a load of blank cards from craft shop and get DD to decorate them. Now she is older she writes the messages inside herself, but when she was little we did that part for her.

We may even let her type up a message and I will print them, as she is just learning PowerPoint etc

I love receiving thank you letters.

butterfliesinmytummy Thu 04-Dec-14 23:06:10

We started out with handprints when they were tiny. I want my kids to write thank you letters so I do too. Then I printed out a message and they did kisses and drawings, now dd2 just turned 6 so she wrote 'dear x" and "love from x" on her thank yous for 15 party gifts from her friends and one /two line letters to other family and friends. I'm always surprised to not receive thank you letters, makes me wonder if they liked the gift and whether I should put so much though in to it next time....

howtodrainyourflagon Thu 04-Dec-14 23:06:17

From babyhood I sent a handprint or footprint until the dcs could draw or paint. From around 3 I got them to sign their own names. At 4 they got away with thank you love from dcname. Then they would copy sentences I wrote for them. At 9 ds1 does his letters without adult intervention.

As you can probably tell I am a stickler for good manners. The dc all got a bit rebellious around 6 or 7 and ds2 needs some bribery to cooperate but I think it's very important to learn to take time and effort to thank others for their kindness.

Imeg Fri 05-Dec-14 07:38:36

Mine isn't old enough yet but for birth/christening I have emailed thank yous (nice e-card with a photo of baby) to those who are on email and sent print thank yous to those who aren't. I think I will continue to do this as he gets older, with increasing input from him as described above, otherwise if there are a lot to do the postage starts mounting up.

TheFirstOfHerName Fri 05-Dec-14 07:42:09

When they were babies I sent them on their behalf.
When they were old enough to write their name, they started signing them.
When they were old enough to write a sentence, they started writing (short) thank you notes themselves.
They still write them now (the eldest is 14).

FishWithABicycle Fri 05-Dec-14 07:47:23

totally agree that children should do this.
Age 2 - a scribble on a short parent-written letter
Age 3 - possibly following dotted lines to write their name on the end of a parent-written letter
Age 4 - hopefully managing to write thank you at the top and their name at the bottom of a parent-written letter
Age 5 - hopefully managing to write a two-sentence letter themselves
Age 6+ length and neatness of letter hopefully improving...

Obviously children's skills develop at different rates but this is achievable for some.

We are cruel and heartless parents - no opening of gifts from birthday party until letters to family are all written (we don't open any at the party itself). Each party gift must have its thankyou letter written before the next one can be opened. At christmas time all chocolate and christmas treat eating from boxing-day till epiphany is conditional on a daily thank-you letter or letters having been written.

Imeg Fri 05-Dec-14 07:53:50

PS I send things to other people's children of a variety of ages and get all sorts of responses ranging from nothing, to a text, to a facebook message to a written note/card. I appreciate all of them, however long after the event - as others have said, it's just nice to know that it got there safely.

LittleLionMansMummy Fri 05-Dec-14 08:06:43

We wrote on ds' s behalf when he was very little but we got him to sign his own this year (he just turned 4). So i wrote the actual note and he signed his name. I think this is a good age because he asked why he had to do it so i explained and there were no protests.

Livvylongpants Fri 05-Dec-14 08:47:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 05-Dec-14 10:27:09

I don't think thank you letters are outdated. I know in my heart texts are the modern way etc but having been brought up to write letters of thanks can't help feeling more thought and effort goes into writing and posting a note however brief than two lines of text. Probably they'll peter out altogether before long though.

Lozzapops Fri 05-Dec-14 13:20:32

I love getting thank you cards, and I think it is always polite to send a letter of thanks. My daughter is only just one, but we sent a card to everyone who gave her a gift (obviously written by us). I imagine as she gets older it will evolve, as others have said, to writing a squiggle, drawing a picture, writing her name, etc, until she can write her own note. I personally would be embarrassed not to send something.

wawabear Fri 05-Dec-14 15:22:45

I am totally for sending thank you letters.

I sent a gift voucher to a friend's child who lives far away and I didn't get an acknowledgement until she spent the voucher and then it was "she was bored watching the XFactor and went online to do some shopping". It made me feel like my present wasn't good enough. It would have been easy to send a text, write a post on Facebook.

Lomega Mon 08-Dec-14 19:25:34

DS isn't even 1 yet but I write thank you notes on behalf of him! As soon as he can write he'll be doing his own. I think it's the polite thing to do and so many people forget or don't bother these days with hand-written notes that name the items received.

Last year I spent a lot of time picking thoughtful gifts for a family friend's daughter for her birthday and got a generic 'thanks for my gift' FB message. I was a bit gutted actually as I see them a lot and like to think we're close. Turns out friend doesn't really put much stock into writing thank yous and loosely mentioned that her daughter should do some if she wanted. Daughter is 14. So I did expect better.
Maybe I'm a mean old lady sad

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