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Let me sleep?!

(6 Posts)
loafofbread Thu 04-Dec-14 09:31:25

DD is 4.5 months old and is in her own room, DP and I moved into the bedroom next door to hers, which is much smaller than ours when we moved DD into her own room about 6 weeks ago. This was on advice from HV as keeping her in our room until she is 6months old isn't an option as she's a light sleeper and we kept waking her up.
she slept really well up until 2 weeks ago, she's now teething and seems to have entered the 4month sleep regression!
She's feeding 1-2 times during the night but awake for 1.5 hours on a food feed! She's then waking up for half an hour here and there 2-3 times on top of this!

DP helps out. I do the feeds and he will do the odd half an hour here and there (usually one a night.) But he's irritating me so much as he keeps on waking me up when he comes to bed at night and gets up in the morning... I'm shattered!
Last night he came to bed when I was asleep and asked me to stop snoring (Ive got a constant cold as I'm so run down with lack of sleep.) Followed by questions about what time DD last fed and how much she'd had. This is his way of gaging whether she will wake again soon as he does a night feed if it's before 12pm which is rare at the moment. This really annoys me! He regularly wakes me up when he comes to bed!
Then there's the snoozing of the alarm in the morning which he always sets 30 minutes before he wakes up for work and snoozes every 5-10 minutes... waking both me and DD up! I've talked to him about being more considerate and it works for about 2 weeks then he starts again.

I'm tired and I'm wasting my breath. He's annoying me through being inconsiderate whilst messing up the small bedroom we're in at the moment with his clothes strewn all over the floor.

we said we would never sleep in seperate rooms but has the time come until DD is sleeping better again? Surely I shouldnt have to keep reminding him not to wake me up when he knows nights with DD are so ruddy tiring at the moment!
Any thoughts/suggestions/comments from fellow tired irritated women really appreciated!

roofio87 Thu 04-Dec-14 10:48:22

honestly, I say separate rooms on the days he's working and getting up at least. I never wanted to either but it was a life saver when ds was that age and not sleeping. like you I hate getting woken by dh coming to bed and getting up. and there is no way I would cope with the snooze alarm!!! that would drive me crazy!! it won't be for long so I would give it a try and see. If you aren't going to bed or getting up at the same time what's the difference?!
sending lots of sympathy, hoping it gets better soon!!

slightlyinsane Thu 04-Dec-14 10:51:29

Hi, unfortunately I don't have a cure for inconsiderate dhs as I too have one of those. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone and it does get better or easier to handle. I'm nearly into yr 7 of broken nights, not all down to1 child though, I'm currently on no3+4 who are rubbish sleepers. In order to make life easier for all of us I have been on the sofa for about 5 months now, it's far from ideal but I know that we will (eventually) get back to normal.
Maybe you could do work night s apart and days off together. It may mean you doing all the feeds but removing the stress of having someone else wake you up or always thinking there's a possibility of it happening can massively improve the situation helping you cope with the frequent night feeds.
You will get some people saying that you need to tell dh to man up and be more supportive but that doesn't always work asthey simply just don't get it even though they see what is happening.
Good luck there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

loafofbread Thu 04-Dec-14 11:44:58

Thanks ladies! Really pleased with what you have both said! Makes me feel ok about bringing up the possibility of seperate rooms for a short while. Some advice I've been given says it's all about the 'way' we tell our men to be more considerate etc. But I think if you treat yout man like a child and not expect him to pick up on your needs the first time, then he'll act like a child!
It always seems to boil down to us women and the 'way' we deal with things... like we have to be the strong, reasonable ones all the time. Tiredness does not allow for reasonable! I dont think it's too much to ask for a man to think for himself and act considerately! I'll kick him into the other room from tonight before I end up kicking him for real! ;)

slightlyinsane Thu 04-Dec-14 11:54:02

I haven't been reasonable for7 years! It's tough when you both need some sleep, dh so he can function at work and you so you can function for your lo. As long as it doesn't become a my needs are greater than yours battle separate rooms are fine for a while, you will get back there , I did long enough to have 3 more kids grin

loafofbread Thu 04-Dec-14 15:39:00

7 years.... I feel for you! To be honest we always try to prioritise DPs sleep as he has a demanding job... just wish the man would just be considerate of mine!
I guess he'd sleep better in the other room... no snoring keeping him awake or baby crying and he needs the rest too. Wish you some good sleep soon!

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