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Do you think children remember the days where you have been an absolutely terrible parent?

(8 Posts)
dottytablecloth Sun 30-Nov-14 16:36:57

This'll probably be a stupid question but I'm allowed to be stupid as I'm in full scale baby brain fog as I'm 38 weeks preg grin

I have a lovely ds, 21 months and 90% of the time his life is happy and easy going. He is a very wilful child and even now there is no cajoling or persuading him once he's made up his mind.

He's under the weather at the minute, won't eat but is drinking plenty of water. He's in terrible form, so grumpy and whinging constantly. He's never been interested in TV and when he's upset he just wants to be carried around by dh or I.

He's been ill since Thursday and it's been a long few days, anyway today I'm so shattered and exhausted I couldn't carry him around and he screamed for hours, a high pitched demonic scream confused

He stops crying when I pick him up, but if I sit down and stop walking he starts to cry again. Bear in mind he weighs 2 stone and I've 2 stone of baby weight so it's not easy to carry both!

I just left him to cry on the sofa today. I couldn't stand anymore of his howling but he really did cry me out and didn't stop until I came back.

He's not seriously ill by the way, it's just a nasty cough, cold, temperature etc.

I feel so bad though, he just wanted comfort and I wasn't able to provide it today,rather I got irritated and left him to cry.

Pretty crappy parenting. I don't have many days like this but I've had a few days during ds's lifetime where I have felt that I can't take anymore.

Is he likely to remember my crapness as a parent?

Dh was working today so that's why he didn't take over! He's out with dh now as he's home from work. He definitely prefers dh to me and that concerns me. Dh naturally more calm and chilled out that I am. E.g ds smacked dh across the face earlier and he was so calm about it whereas I know if he'd smacked me today, I'd have been really cross.

Sorry for rambling!

Trills Sun 30-Nov-14 16:42:21

He's 21 months.

So no, he won't remember this.

SirChenjin Sun 30-Nov-14 16:44:36

No - they don't remember the odd crap parenting day. If it becomes a pattern of parenting, then obviously that's different - but don't worry, you're doing fine! smile

MummyBeerest Sun 30-Nov-14 16:48:24

I sincerely hope not.

However, you sound like you're doing fine. So don't worry there.

LikeSilver Sun 30-Nov-14 16:48:39

I doubt it very much. We are only human!

All day screaming would usually mean ear infection here, though.

Lillieshill Sun 30-Nov-14 16:55:14

He won't remember. I also think it is normal for one child to prefer, or seem to prefer, another for a period of time. Does your an spend more time with you than dh? If so it is not surprising he seems to 'prefer' dh when he see him, as he gets to spend less time with him. Anyway, it is not unusual. There have been other threads where parents are concerned about a child preferring one or other parent and they always get lots of replies along the lines of, my ds/ dd was like this and grew out of it.

DIYandEatCake Sun 30-Nov-14 21:37:02

I hope not. I on the other hand can remember every one in excruciating detail... Like the time I shouted 'shut UP!' to 3-week-old dd when she wouldn't stop screaming at 3am. Or the time I dropped her out of her car seat onto the floor because in my sleep deprived state I forgot to do the straps up. Or the time I shouted 'man up! stop whingeing at every little thing!' when she was coming down with a nasty bug blush or the time I sat crying in the car in a McDonald's drive thru with both kids screaming in the back together (don't ask) or the time I snapped 'get off and go back to bed!' at dd when 1 month old ds had literally kept me awake all night and then dd came in at 6am and jumped on my face - her wobbly lip and look of rejection still make me feel guilty.
There are more. Most of the time I like to think I'm a calm, loving parent but we're all human and I don't think it hurts children to see you getting frustrated/cross/upset sometimes too.

DIYandEatCake Sun 30-Nov-14 21:39:49

Oh and your example is a very long way from terrible parenting!

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