I have no real advice, but I feel the same. Two dd here 2.5yrs and 6 weeks. It's such a difficult juggling act. Hoping that once the really intensive breastfeeding is out of the way I will at least be able to swap with my DH.
Oh it does get better! I have a 2.5yo DD and 6mo DS and we have fun together now! I think you get over the intense "little baby" fog much more quickly the second time round because you have to with a toddler in tow. Within a few weeks you'll be out and about much more and will probably be feeling the reverse. I actually find myself feeling more guilty that all our days are about the toddler - going to playgroups and doing activities for her, whilst the baby just quietly tags along - he doesn't seem to mind though, bless him!
The baby is just a feeding machine at the moment, but it won't be long til they're entertained a bit by their older sibling and then you can do more stuff together. DS absolutely adores DD and vice versa. I found DD loved me giving her jobs to "help" with the baby, which got her involved and kept her occupied. Now her favourite thing to do seems to be mounting him and riding him like a pony when he's under his play gym. Second children are tough....
I have DS1 who is 2.4yo and DS2 who is 3 weeks. Like you DP is around a lot and only going back to work next week for a week then pretty much off again for Xmas. DP gets up with DS1 and they spend a lot of time together while I tend to DS2. I also feel guilty that I'm not up to get DS1 out of his cot and kiss him good morning and make his breakfast etc Am hoping it gets better when DS2 is less newborn-y and I hope to get him into a bottle so I can express and spend some time on my own with DS1 even if it's just to the library for an hour etc.