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Is there anything I can or should do?

(2 Posts)
Millionairerow Fri 28-Nov-14 15:19:43

I have 3 children (2,4 and 6) and must admit it knocked me for six - has brought out all of my insecurities and has reignited my feelings of sadness when I was a child when I wasn't very popular and had to deal with a lot of teasing at school. But I appreciate your kids have to find their own way in the world.

During maternity leave of my first son I was quite depressed and had no idea of the whole parental politics. I barely went out or went to toddlers groups or anything like that - instead, sticking with a girl I'd known from work who happens to live in the same area. She had a girl and I had a boy. Fast forward and now he is at school. I ask him who his friends are and he seems happy enough, but he doesn't seem to have one or two that he knows well or can rely on. He basically says most days he played on his own (his teacher verified this at a parents evening that he can be on his own a lot but doesn't complain about it or anything, that he seems happy and that he's not shy in coming forward and asking questions etc in class etc). Occasionally he seems to talk about playing with certain groups of kids but as I say its always different. I've had a few play dates but those arrangements have fizzled away a bit - partly because my son hasn't relaly gelled on a 1 to 1, partly because i haven't follow up with additional arrangements (Partly due to full time working but also because my self esteem is not that great at the minute). My husband says I need to make more of an effort with people but sometimes its hard enough to cope with the children rather than asking more over (lame excuse I now).

But I am asking myself if I should do more. My son goes to drama, beavers and swimming. But often the folks there are not who he is in school with. I'm feeling particualry down about this as it was hard to know who to invite to his party, more than half said they couldn't make it and one mother who I recently went out with and who was at his party, has not invited im back. In fact, he's only had one invite since his party. Many of them have not reciprocated. I am not expecting it but I worry he doesn't have one or two freinds he can regularly ask over to play. My son is not a trouble maker, he's lovely if a tad serious (I'd say acts a bit older than his tender 6 years). Do I need to do more or should I just let it work out on its own? My dd2 is very outgoing and so is regularly invited out and has one or two friends she can rely on (she's only 4). Am i worrying unnecessarily? Any advice? My friend I mentioned above - her dd and my son were very close but she this year did not want my son at her partry (my mum and her are still freinds) and invited mostly girls. Thoguh I'd say he gravitates more towards girls than boys.

tostaky Tue 02-Dec-14 20:30:18

My 4.5 years old boy is the same. He has never had a best friend. Teachers have said to do more playdates. So I try to do one each week. I dont care whether it is reciprocated. I hope he will find his own way of making friends.

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