I got that "How to talk to kids so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" book. I like it quite a bit! I'm wondering if people can help me with applying the techniques in it? (Especially as it says it's Mumsnet recommended right on the cover :) )
I'm afraid I'm having trouble right at the start, in the accepting emotions bit. In reading it, I've realised that I am constantly negating DD (2.5yo) especially in telling her that she shouldn't be upset about certain things. I am able to accept her emotion that the TV show has ended, or her tower fell down, or things like that. Where I have trouble is when she gets upset over things like she asks for chocolate for breakfast and I say no. Before I would have told her that's not something to get upset over she's never been allowed chocolate for breakfast and so shouldn't expect it!
But now I'm trying to accept the emotion. Except I'm not quite sure how. The listen attentively/acknowledge techniques don't really seem to work for toddlers. I can't "give in fantasy", because I don't wish I could give her chocolate for breakfast. If I did, I would. And giving it a name, "You're really disappointed you can't have chocolate for breakfast" seems to make her even more upset! That's the opposite to what the book says, as it tells all sorts of stories of how accepting the emotion leads to less upset. Although is that right? Was I squashing the exhibition of emotion she had before, and now all she's doing is showing it to me? Or am I really making her more upset?
I have more trouble with later parts, but I'll start with this one and see if anyone has any advice.
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I'm trying to apply the techniques in the "How to talk to kids..." book and having some trouble.
18 replies
murmuration · 27/11/2014 14:51
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