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Avoiding being pushy and/or critical towards 3yo DS

(2 Posts)
Poofus Mon 24-Nov-14 11:49:39

I'd love some help or insight into this. My own mother was amazingly pushy towards me as a child. I have actually done v well academically but have always felt "not good enough". I now have a 3yo DS, and much as I try hard not to replicate my mother's pushiness, I find it difficult.

For example, DS doesn't draw much beyond mono-coloured scribbles. I have tried to encourage him to draw shapes or people or anything colourful, really, but he just says "I can't" and he's starting to seem sad about it. I fear I'm putting him off drawing at all by putting pressure on him. I don't even know why I'm doing it as I honestly don't think it matters when he learns to draw a circle, or write his name, or count to 100, or whatever, but I guess I feel like a failure if he isn't doing these things. It doesn't help that my mother is constantly telling me, "of course, at his age you chapter books/write stories/draw recognisable portraits" etc.

Any tips on how to relax and make these things fun for him, without any pressure? Or tips to avoid turning into my mother?!

KatyN Mon 24-Nov-14 12:12:56

I suggest you have a hard talking to yourself about how you would feel if your son wasn't academic, or sport, or especially good at anything. Decide what it is that you would like him to be known for.

I come from an academic background. I am extreemly competitive. I had to get over myself right at the start because of difficulties at birth meant my son was the last of his peers to roll/sit/crawl/walk the list goes on.

I would like his friends (and parents of friends) to think he's a polite chap and for him to have friends and be happy. I monitor is pleases and thank yous and don't push the colouring/letters etc.


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