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Advice please on baby dads family.

(2 Posts)
nadinekittie Sun 23-Nov-14 15:31:03

Hello

In short my baby's dad walked out on the pregnancy I later found out he is with someone and moved in with her. A week before he moved with her I had a phone call from him that he loves me and still has feelings for me, anyway he never told his mum I am pregnant but I did tell her back in June and since then his mum has not confronted him as she wanted to give him a chance to tell her. But now I'm getting closer to due date she will confront him on why he has acted this way and not told her. I get along with her its a funny situation cause I do meet up with his mum for coffee ect and he don't know it yet that we met. On my part I did turn into a crazy woman with him when I found out about him and her I sent 100s emails and texts sad not proud of my self believe me sad I was just very angry hurt and going though this alone is hard.

My question is how do you think he will react when she tells him I informed her ? And how does it work with his family involved but not him ? how will my child cope with that ? can he put his mum off from being involved ?
I'm very scared at the minute.

Thanks

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 24-Nov-14 14:24:33

Hello OP do you mind me asking, where is your family in all this, do you have rl support? After your baby is born I bet you will decide that he or she is too special to be around people who begrudge their existence.

His DM may well have kept quiet or she may have discussed with him but was asked not to 'rock the boat' by making it public.

He may have hoped you would just melt away so yes he may be embarrassed you approached his DM. Compared to being dumped after the news you were expecting, carrying a baby for nine months and going through birth I think a grown man can handle that. He may have big plans with his gf who could very likely be totally in the dark about this. That's not your problem! As to whether he denies the child is his, well that will soon be sorted following your baby's birth. He must realise a DNA test will establish whether you are being truthful.

Because you weren't married when you conceived, quoting from
www.gov.uk/register-birth/who-can-register-a-birth

The details of both parents can be included on the birth certificate if they do one of the following:
sign the birth register together
one parent completes a statutory declaration of parentage form and the other takes the signed form to register the birth
one parent goes to register the birth with a document from the court (for example, a court order) giving the father parental responsibility.

You can choose to register the birth on your own as you aren’t married to the child’s father. His details won’t be included on the birth certificate. It might however be possible to add the father’s details at a later date by completing an application for the re-registration of a child’s birth.

But if things do ever improve then your child does not need his name on a birth cert to know who her/his father is.

Your child has the right to a relationship with her/his dad. So you can invite ex to see the baby, ask him to occasions like christening, birthday, Christmas - not so much for him, but more for when the child's older, and asks about him. You can look her/him in the eye and honestly tell them you tried your hardest for their sake. If ex's family are willing to be part of your child's life it can work but if future grandchildren come along they may back off.

Your child also has a right to financial support. TBH whatever the ex's reaction it is the child's money, not yours, so claim it.

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