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Finding this hard but not in the way I expected

(5 Posts)
LightUpLightUp Sat 22-Nov-14 17:07:35

DS2 is 5 weeks old. Obviously a new baby comes with sleepless nights, constant feeding etc. I'm enjoying it, the nights aren't too bad and He's taken well to breastfeeding. However I'm finding these first weeks really difficult because my DP just isn't interested. He was absolutely besotted with DS1 when he was born, DS2 was wanted. He hasn't changed one nappy, or got him dressed/bath time etc. I can cope with that but he sighs when I ask him to hold him. He doesn't mention his name when he speaks of the future. I've asked him to have Him soon with some bottles so I can take DS1 out on my own for some time together as the baby always feeds and I haven't spent much quality time with my eldest. He point blank refuses. He makes out as if DS2 is a difficult baby, which is beyond me as he only wakes twice a night for feeds which I obviously do and he doesn't even cry for them he just stirs. Sometimes he cries in the evenings with bad wind but this has only happened about 4 times in the 5 weeks.

Baby doesn't go to sleep until 10:30pm which leaves no time for me and DP but I've explained this will change and isn't forever. He seems to be jelous almost of the baby, making little comments about him taking up room in the bed etc and me not staying up with DP after baby goes to sleep. I'm knackered come half ten !!

I feel as though the baby is just mine, and not DPs at all, I feel as though he is fully my responsibility and now I worry about asking him to hold him for two minutes whilst I pop to the frikkin toilet or need to do something!!

It's really making me resent him. :-(
Has anyone experienced this behaviour from their partner. Any advice

hippo123 Sat 22-Nov-14 21:03:54

Sorry to hear your having such a tough time, it must be horrible for you. Has anything else changed in his life? Work / money worries? How is he towards ds1? Has that changed at all? Have you tried talking to him about it, explaining how it makes you feel and your worried about it? How about not asking him to do his bath, tell him. In a 'right, I'm going to read ds1 a story, you give ds2 a bath' kind of way? It does sound like he hasn't bonded with him yet. That not to say he won't though.

BlueChampagne Sat 22-Nov-14 22:46:30

That's awfully hard and all I can say is that I hope things improve. Maybe in the short term he should have som 1:1 time with DS1 while you snuggle ups with DS2? Perhaps they could pick a Christmas present for him.

Do hope things get better.

BlueChampagne Sat 22-Nov-14 22:47:03

Drat the auto text!

chan321 Sun 23-Nov-14 23:02:52

I had this problem and I'm sorry to say it will get alot worse before it gets better. It's took until my daughter was 8 months and I started packing mine and my daughters bag to leave him to see a turn around. He's still a selfish childish dad now

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