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Going it alone, 33 weeks pregnant and DD is 19 months.

(5 Posts)
Keepontrudging Sat 22-Nov-14 12:12:14

I am really at a loss as to what to think or feel anymore , but after much deliberation I have come to the agonising decision to end things with my partner. I am now faced to go it alone with a toddler and soon a newborn. I can't help feeling I am crazy for doing this, but the relationship is literally intolerable. I am far from perfect , but he is extremely immature and only getting worse. He is a good father, but as a partner is emotionally unavailable, immature, shouts and will not change ever. We have gone back and forth with different problems and are getting nowhere. I feel like such a failure - but I swear it is only this pregnancy things have become so difficult (probably due to lots of strain from life's happenings) I wouldn't have had kids by him of I would have known - not that I regret my babies, I just feel like everyone will judge me so irresponsible. I feel so alone, scared as to what the future holds and most of all extreme guilt that my dd and soon to be son, will not have thendsmily unit I had hoped for.

josephine1986 Sat 22-Nov-14 14:55:58

I hope someone with similar experience will be along with advice. Didn't want to read and run.
Obviously I don't know your circumstances , and if there is abuse or violence there is no question, but do you think it might be better to hang on until after the baby is born ? Only because, your body is going through a shitstorm of hormones, and you are vulnerable now. You will continue to need support, if only from a practical point of view, in that he can take your older child while you are with the newborn. If he is a good father ?
Do you have a lot of RL support? I would really think carefully about such a big decision at this time.
So sorry you are having such a difficult time.

Havingabeer Sat 22-Nov-14 21:28:40

Although I have a partner, I am one with my 3 month old and 20 month old during the day.
It's fine and I am finding having 2 easier than I did the first time with just one

Keepontrudging Sat 22-Nov-14 21:47:22

Thanks for the advice and comforting words! I hope two is easier than one, I shall remain hopeful and positive. There is no violence / abuse but the relationship drags me down more than my helps me. He works so much overtime I am basically doing it alone at the moment - except weekends.

Keepontrudging Sat 22-Nov-14 21:48:27

But I am aware properly doing it alone is a whole other ball game. That said, he will obviously be a help at weekends etc when he isn't working.

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