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Do I need a routine now DD is 15 weeks old?(19 Posts)
Hi, I keep reading about people who have their babies in a routine already. Is it benificial for me to do the same? DD is ebf and I just feed her when she needs it. I put her down in the evening whenever she gets tired (ant time between 6-7pm usually) but that's the only structure we have. I try to put her down for naps in the day, but again as and when she shows signs of tiredness, not at set times. She was just waking once in the night for a feed but this last week she's started to wake every 1.5-2hours and I'm exhausted! I'd really appreciate your thoughts on this as I'm unsure if we should be establishing one and if so what should it look like! Thanks very much.
Up to you If what you're doing now works for you both, why change?
Oooh sounds so familiar! Have you googled '4 month sleep regression'? My DS was a super sleeper until 14 weeks, then went crazy, as did a couple of the other babies in my NCT group.
You already have the start of a routine with a regular(ish) bedtime. Nothing wrong with feeding in demand either!
If you want a bit more structure to the day, I was shown by another mum a suggested nap timetable (based on a 7-7 day) which suggested 9am -12pm - 4.30pm. I've tweaked it for my DS as a 3.30 nap works better for him.
Hope the sleep improves soon.
Routines aren't compulsory, they're only useful if it's something that will help you and/or your baby. If you're happy as you are then don't feel you need to introduce a more structured routine.
My routine went:
Sit on arse watching telly
Go for a walk
Sit on arse watching telly
Hand baby to husband.
Sleep for a few hours.
Nighttime feed on demand.
We have no real routine either! DD is 21 weeks (16 adjusted as preemie). She goes to bed generally around 7, then wakes twice in night. During the day she naps when I can get her to, and she feeds on demand.
A few times she's shown signs of getting into a routine, then will change.
I'd rather go with the flow to be honest. She knows what she needs.
The sleeping sounds like 4 month regression - normal and will pass. Have you read the wonder weeks? There's a huge neurological development at 4 months so babies can get really unsettled.
Like Families said. If you are happy with how things are, leave them. If at some point you want structure start to introduce a routine.
I'm a control freak so have to have a routine early on. It helps me cope and have some idea if baby is hungry or tired or crying for an unknown reason.
Different parenting works for different parents and babies.
I would echo PP in saying that a routine is not compulsory. If you feel that you need to create some structure or either of you are not happy just going with the flow, then yes a routine may be a good idea. I personally hate the idea and we are much happier going with the flow. And the Wonder Weeks App is great by the way. There is a huge developmental leap between weeks 14 and 20 which will mean baby is slightly unsettled / changeable.
We only developed a loose routine of sorts once DS was down to two naps and on three meals a day. Everything hangs off the meals really and the routine just developed around what he naturally did. So even now (he's 8.5 minths) he doesn't nap at the exact same time every day - it's whenever he's tired, but it's generally consistant, give or take 20 minutes or so.
So just go with the flow! No use trying to make a baby nap that's not tired!
You don't 'need' one. But by 15 weeks we were in a lovely routine that in many respects still stands today (20 months) and means she is a very happy, securr well slept child.
My own view is that routine is enormously beneficial from a young age because it's all they know.
We didn't really get a routine until DD went to nursery at 10mo. But I am happy to live in chaos, it doesn't suit everyone!
I do wonder if I had been strict at the start, if her sleep would have been better. I was adamant that I wanted a baby that would sleep anywhere, I didn't want to be tied to being at home at certain times. And my disorganised nature means I would have really struggled. But I might not be so tired now, 18 months on!
My DS turns 12 weeks tomorrow and I''ve had him in a loose EASY routine for about 4 weeks now. Its just made life much easier as it means I know what to expect next, so am better able to respond appropiately to his cues (hungry, sleepy, bored etc) and crying has radically decreased as a result. But I'm very routine driven myself so it suits me. I keep it really flexible as well so the order of things doesnt change but the timings do, depending on what mood he is in that day. I think it has helped his nighttime sleep too as I'm now making sure he has sufficient naps and isnt overtired by bed. But I don't think it's a necessity if you are good at picking up your baby's cues (I kept mistaking sleepy for hungry...)
I have two. With both we began a very gentle routine from day 3. That simply entailed a bath at 6.15, change of clothes, a feed, swaddled and then down in Moses basket around 7. Mine are now 1.5 and 4 and this bedtime routine is all they have ever known. Honestly, no lie, I have never ever had a fight with bedtime. I out them down, they sleep.
By about six weeks, we had more of a routine. It largely followed gina ford. Not to the letter, as I adjusted as to what I thought suited my baby, but about 90% gina ford. During the day that is. We took longer to drop night feeds than gina indicates, but night feeds fizzled out by 3 months with my first and 5 months with my second.
My four year old is still asleep, my 1.5 woke up half hour ago.
Everything just fell into place as she got a bit older. I found weaning really added structure to our day but until the I was very go with the flow! Still am to an extent but now there is food times and bed times!
I found that by about 16 weeks my DDs started forging their own routines - I knew their hunger and tired cues by then, so found that easy to follow and then 'nudge' gently to where I wanted it with a view to going back to work. I always demand fed though - with growth spurts that was the only thing that worked. By 15-16 weeks they were going to bed about 7pm and I wound them down to 6.30 by the time I went back to work at 6 months old.
You have to go with what suits your circumstances, personality and your baby. Not necessarily in that order.
What you have seems like a routine to me! Feeding on demand. Going to sleep more or less the same time every day, waking up almost the same time, naps at specified intervals. But baby has started to wake up at night as it happens with many. That's how my children were as babies too!
There are people who live chaotic lives and go to sleep very late so their children suffer with them. They will sit for hours watching tv, playing games, facebook you name it without feeding the children properly and maybe drop a few biscuits. THIS is NOT a routine. Yours is.
My 1st son has told me that there were a few times that a boy would fall asleep in the class and the teacher would let him sleep. She must have thought that it is quite possible that his parents go to sleep late and until then they won't put him to sleep Your baby has better routine than some older children.
You and your baby are doing great
It sounds like you are doing great, and have hit a wonder week (the book is excellent).
I ebf on demand and responded to my baby's cues as to when she was tired, hungry etc. I never forced a routine, but I did bear in mind that she would start to get tired a certain number of hours after waking, and keep half an eye on the time.
She fell into a rough routine herself at around 2.5-three months, and the times changed every month or so. I noticed that on particularly busy days she would sleep more, so I was glad that I was noticing her cues.
I never started a bedtime routine, I kept lights low and games quiet in the evening, then when she showed signs of tiredness I fed her to sleep. Worked very well.
My days were very different and I would have hated to be constrained by a routine. I think my baby would have hated it too, she always got very cross if I tried to put her to sleep when she wasn't ready!
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