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Please tell me Im not the only one - Anyone at bedtime still lie next to DC till they go to sleep age 9!!!!

(18 Posts)
hulahoopsilove Thu 20-Nov-14 12:30:16

Gosh it's not had its toll on me, but DS age 9 insists I lie next to him till he goes to sleep...he goes up at 7.30pm/8pm and Im down by 9pm but really is too much now.

Ive told him he has to go to sleep on his own he is 10 next year but he says hes scared of the dark Icve said we can leave the landing light on but he is scared of being on his own.

He is an only btw

ShatnersBassoon Thu 20-Nov-14 12:33:03

Perhaps he isn't sleepy enough at 7.30pm to be able to read until he nods off. What time does he get up?

What happens if he's away from home? Has he been on a Cub camp, school residential, spent a night at grandparent's house?

Heels99 Thu 20-Nov-14 12:33:07

Get him a night light? Play a story cd?

SKYTVADDICT Thu 20-Nov-14 12:38:44

We do - they are 6 and 7 but go up at 7.45 for story then 8 lights out and are usually asleep within minutes. I think it's caused a night time returning to sleep problem in the 7 year old so we are slowly trying to withdraw!

TongueBiter Thu 20-Nov-14 12:39:36

Yes with a 6yo - does my head in confused

Madlizzy Thu 20-Nov-14 12:39:58

Give him a night light and leave a radio on quiet for him.

306235388 Thu 20-Nov-14 12:40:18

We sit on the landing between their rooms - they are 7 and. 4 but tbh it's my eldest that's more worried about being alone. They go out like a light most nights though so only takes 15 mins.

hulahoopsilove Thu 20-Nov-14 13:05:25

we go up at 7.30pm, read, lights out 8pm he talks for a while then sleep by 8.45/9pm - he wakes mega early so really is reay to unwind from 7.30pm.

Would really like to hear from others that are still doing this or did it and how they stopped doing it - older children that is

frankiebuns Thu 20-Nov-14 14:49:31

My ds is 4 and has asd he's always gone to sleep with Simone in the room and can see myself doing it until he's 10 I dont mind one bit if it works and he's settled I don't mind hugs n cuddles from him. He has said off his own back that he'd like me to say night night and him go to sleep on his own soon. But I'm hanging on till he's ready

hulahoopsilove Thu 20-Nov-14 15:44:17

well I didnt mind but now Im thinking gosh he will be 10 in 3 months surely I cant still keep doing this...It does give me time to unwind and chill I suppose but some nights he takes ages to sleep and Im down at 10pm!

He is my only one and Im sure there will be a time when Im not needed at all sad

StuntCodPiece Thu 20-Nov-14 15:51:03

Dd is 6 and I stay with her. Am beginning to wonder when it will end but am not inclined to push it as I had terrible insecurities at night as a child and would never want my child to feel like I did. I was about 12 before I went to sleep without my mum with me.

Could he leave a light on? Ds (7) has a touch lamp with three settings so we just leave it on low for him to go to sleep. Also he likes to hear us pottering about in other rooms or downstairs so he doesnt feel alone.

lostintoys Thu 20-Nov-14 19:20:41

DS (8) has only recently been weaned off having me lying with him, although if he can't sleep I will still go and sit in his room. I started by sitting by his bed for a week, then halfway across the room for a week, then just by the door for a week, then just outside the door for a week, then at the top of the stairs, etc etc. It took ages to get him to the stage where he was happy for me to be downstairs, and he still regularly asks for me to potter around on the landing outside his room while he goes to sleep. To be frank, I think that in an ideal world he'd like to sleep in bed with me every night still, but accepts that he has to get used to getting to sleep by himself. The radio on quietly outside his room helps, or letting him read for a while until he drops off. And endless reassurance that I can hear him wherever I am in the house.

lostintoys Thu 20-Nov-14 19:21:29

Oh, and DS is an only too and his greatest fear is of being alone.

slightlyworriednc Thu 20-Nov-14 19:23:45

What happens if you don't lie with him?

I think 7.30 is extremely early to bed for a 9 year old. Mine goes between 8.30 and 9.

hulahoopsilove Sat 22-Nov-14 09:09:08

well it's not lights out at 7.30pm slightlyworriednc - time weve gone up dont bathroom teeth etc... 7.45pm, then stories, chatting its gone 8pm/8.15pm...more chatting in bed and he;s asleep around 9pm. But he wakes early always has 6.30am most mornings no matter what time he has gone to bed so by 7.30/8pm he's yawning and ready.

I spoke to him last night and he said that he just doesnt like being on his own, he feels better when Im there.

You see all of my friends have 1+ so their kids are all upstairs or share a room most have said that 1 of their kids would be the same as mine if they didnt share a room or werent upstairs with their siblings

SixerofthePixies Sat 22-Nov-14 09:27:39

I do have two dc admittedly. They go upstairs at seven ish for a shower, get their pj's on do teeth. Whilst they are doing this I am milling abt sorting school uniform and chatting as they sort themselves out. They get into bed and read etc, I listen to the younger one read his school book for a bit, then he swops to something else. I pop back at 8 to turn his lights out, then half eight for the older one. Sometimes they play instead of read.

Can he not do some of these things independently, it might encourage him to go to sleep alone. How does he cope at friends houses, cub camp etc...

octopal Sat 22-Nov-14 09:43:35

I still stay with my 6 and 8 year olds til they are asleep. The 8 yr old can drift off once she is settled with 6 yr old still insists on having someone there.

It never takes her long to fall asleep and once asleep she never wakes til after 7.30 so I am happy to do it for now.

To be honest I quite enjoy the quiet time before they sleep, we have stories, a chat, might listen to a couple of songs and then settle down.

Life can be so busy that I appreciate it and I know it won't last for ever.

nightswift Sat 22-Nov-14 09:49:57

I would shift lights out to 8.30. I used to have to sit with my 5& 3 year old in the room but we progressed to the door then the landing at the top of the stairs. After that i was allowed to potter around upstairs but not go down! Could something like that work - so you are close by but it is not so much 'fun'.

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