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Teenage Daughter

(4 Posts)
annettehassan Tue 18-Nov-14 12:48:32

My daughter has been with her boyfriend for over a year and is now 18 weeks pregnant. They did not deal with things brilliantly at the beginning but I have explained we need to draw a line and move forward. However, he does not want anything to do with her family or friends. She has moved in with him and now refuses to answer my calls or see me. I am desparate to have a relationship with her but don't know how to get her to see my point of view. They currently live with his grandparents but cant stay there and have the baby. She wont officially "move out" as she, in her own words, is scared she wont see me. She no longer sees any of her friends as he does not like them. How do I cope with this I cant bond with her and cant get excited about my grand child either. I have asked to meet them for lunch after her scan next week but she refuses to reply to me.

Is it me controlling and not being able to let go or is there an element of him controlling her?

TheGirlAtTheRockShow Tue 18-Nov-14 18:53:22

Didn't want to leave your post unanswered. I have no experience, so may be wrong. It sounds to me like she is in an abusive relationship. Cutting someone off from their family and friends is emotional abuse.
I think all you can do is make sure she's knows you are there for her no matter what. Hopefully she'll see what he is doing and you'll be her support then. How old is she?

lljkk Tue 18-Nov-14 19:05:30

There is almost nothing in your OP anything about him, it's all about what she is doing & choosing to do or not do. So I can't see from those words that he is controlling.

I'm sorry it must be very painful to detach & be patient.

annettehassan Wed 19-Nov-14 12:04:31

Hi She is 17. I have not put much about him but my daughter has told me how he doesn't like her friends, feels uncomfortable around her family and he drives and she does not so he determines where they go how long for. She told me she did not want to move out, although she is at his every night, as she was scared she would not see me??? Its now been over two weeks since I last spoke to her, we have had a few texts back and forth, and now she is just avoiding me altogether. Her best friend is down in the area now and I asked when she was going to see her and she said she didn't know has her boyfriend did not like her. I was quite shocked as I asker her why when he had never met her?? Her friend is in contact with me and is scared she is going to "drop her" as well. I just don't know what to say to people. She is quite happy to go and stay at his parents, they are split up, he has been bought up by his grandparents. They live in a box room and sleep in a single bed. He has said that he will sleep on the floor when she is bigger. I just don't understand this when I have offered them to move in with me and my husband? How do I try and build a relationship with him ?

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