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Driving myself mad...days are too long!

(9 Posts)
Buttercupup Sun 16-Nov-14 15:27:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CautiousOptimist Sun 16-Nov-14 17:08:23

Hi Buttercup,
I have a little boy a bit older than yours - 22 months - and your post really struck a chord. I'm a SAHM too, and I think a lot of parents feel similarly bored at times (I know I do). Toddlers can be pretty draining, and it must be hard with your DH away a lot of the time.

I find going out as much as possible helps, sometimes to do things for DS but other times just a little errand like dropping a DVD back to the library, going to the butcher to get some sausages for dinner etc. Probably sounds dull, but it keeps us busy, I chat to my son all the time we're out, he 'chats' back with the few words he knows and most of the time it's fun!

Then when we are at home, because we've had a little outing I suppose I don't feel the need to be constantly stimulating him so he potters and plays while I cook or do housework. Occasionally he brings me a book to read or asking for help with a toy and we play for a bit, and then I get on with what I was doing. Sometimes he helps me with jobs such as loading the washing machine, and stuff gradually gets done.

That generally leaves me free at nap times and in the evenings to send emails, do some volunteering, put my feet up for a bit or whatever. Does your son still nap? Mine is just about to stop but I am desperately trying to hang onto it as I need those moments!

Sometimes I organise activities for us to do at home like a new game or some painting, but a lot of the time we just potter. I'm just not someone who can play all day, it would drive me nuts :-)

You mention sometimes your son doesn't need you to play with him, do you think at those moments you could leave him to it, do a bit of housework and keep checking on him?

Go easy on yourself about the telly too. Loads of parents (myself included) put it on sometimes, I don't think there's any harm in the odd half hour while you cook or whatever.

I seem to have written an essay, sorry!

IdaClair Sun 16-Nov-14 17:25:47

Make some of it about you. Most of it preferably, but I may be alone in that.

Have you any local friends with kids? Have them round for cake. Arrange to go out with them, even if it is just to playgroup (though tbh I avoid the place like the plague and there are million other places you can take the kids to) talk to them, not about the children. See someone else every day at least once!

Have something to do in those nothing moments. Bake, craft, knit, put your favourite programme on, talk on the phone to friends, do your accounts, go on Facebook or mn, anything not child related.

Look for local activities that are not just for kids, theatre, cinema, arts stuff, nature trails, seasonal activities, sports events. Things you will all enjoy.

Examples, in the last couple of weeks with my 2yo - things we have done benefitting both of us - to the local farm with friend with other 2yo. To the theatre as a family - afternoon showing. To the farmers market. Swimming with another friend, and kids to crèche after so we went in the gym and had cake after! Friends round to play one morning, kids play out, adults talk. Shopping and into the local museum and art space. To kids craft at the craft store, new crafts for adults and children. Boot camp exercise classes in the park with the kids running about. Big splashy baths with food colouring and 'rain' (that would be me in the shower at the other end of the bath) to the nature reserve to look at bees and feed ducks, sending the kids in the charity shops to rummage with 50p each and some cute factor. Whatever you fancy.

We have also spent a good long time in the bank, in the supermarket, at the bank, coming with me to work, waiting around for older siblings at clubs and events, generally being trailed round adult activities.

Nearly always the key is not to do it alone. Stimulation comes naturally during the course of normal life, as long as you leave the house and get out and about!

Oh and it ends. Sooner than you think.

Teslaedison Sun 16-Nov-14 17:44:19

I found being a SAHM boring. So we went swimming, a lot.

Cue ten years' later. My husband's car crashed into a river. My husband drowned but our daughter let herself out of her seatbelt and squeezed herself out through a broken window and swam to the shore.

Those boring years seem worthwhile now.

(I do totally get where you are coming from OP)

Buttercupup Sun 16-Nov-14 18:51:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nevercan Sun 16-Nov-14 20:22:17

Volunteer for your local NCT. They always need volunteers and they are all child friendly things that you can do in your own time or at events take them with you,

CompassionFatigue Sun 16-Nov-14 20:26:04

God no, you are not alone in this! its a full on age and the days are looong! It is hard to entertain all day. I coped by going out a lot and by using tv. It will get easier! If you can afford it, what about a bit of childcare to give you a break?

fortheloveofmike Sun 16-Nov-14 20:32:27

I have a 16 month old ds plus an older ds at school. I find that I go out to a group in the morning and I play and chase etc etc then home for lunch and ds goes for his nap. I use this time to do what I want for myself then when he wakes up we have a snack and a cuddle and then I do chores while he plays and he helps a bit, hinders alot bless him but he goes off to play on his own and wanders back to me. Then I stick some c beebies on and dont feel an ounce of guilt as we have been busy and after my chores I like a cuppa!! You're doing a great job so just relax :-)

iheartshoes Sun 16-Nov-14 20:34:14

I think there are a lot of us in the same boat ! DD is 19 months and the days can go quite slowly particularly afternoons now it gets dark so early. To keep my brain busy I am doing an ou course which I do in the evenings and sometimes I do out DD in front of to while I do reading etc - don't feel bad ! There are some interesting free courses on the open learn website. Also we have DD in nursery one morning a week which is great for her and for me. Back in the summer I did a lot of running too which was great - as you can just put on trainers and go when your OH gets home.

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