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clueless new mum- help on co/sleeping / cots etc please

(21 Posts)
DoggyDaycare Thu 13-Nov-14 14:23:12

I never intended to co-sleep but have ended up doing so as three nights on the run I woke on the sofa to find I'd fallen asleep with DS in the middle of the night and realised how dangerous this was. So I am not really organised for it.

At the moment DS is 13 weeks old & will only sleep on my chest (in day in sling) or at night in bed. I sleep on my side with him in the crook of my arm iyswim, but I am worried as he gets bigger he may move about more and roll off the bed so I want something on the side to avoid this.

I have looked at those cribs that attach but they all say until 6 months would only work for 10 weeks and then what do you do?

I have thought about getting dh to just fiddle with a big cot so it fits onto the side of the bed by removing one side ...but what about naps etc- once he can move about, he would be able to get out of it, across the bed and fall off if one side wasn't there.

Please can someone suggest a solution!

kiki0202 Thu 13-Nov-14 18:20:10

Get a bed guard for the side so he can't roll. If your not keen on co sleeping I would suggest starting off in the cot and bringing him in when he wakes I co slept because I had to and read somewhere it's best they know their own bed too and it worked with us it did take until DS slept through but he likes his own bed.

splendide Fri 14-Nov-14 09:47:36

I have a crib that attaches and it's nice that it's easy to get him in and out of it to feed but he doesn't settle in it any easier than in his moses. It's not really like co sleeping in my experience.

Mine is 3 weeks

HazleNutt Fri 14-Nov-14 10:46:20

There are bigger co-sleepers, I had the Fabimax - fits a baby up to 90 cm.

DoggyDaycare Fri 14-Nov-14 14:23:05

oh thanks for the replies, sorry it has taken me ages to come back, not an easy night with the bub!

Really interested in the fact that your baby doesn't settle any easier, splendide, this hadn't occurred to me but thinking about it I wonder if mine would be the same as he HATES the moses basket. I would hate to spend money on a third sleeping container only to have him hate that as well.....perhaps a guard as suggested by kiki is the way forward for keeping him safe for now...

But then I read that webchat MNet link to on the co-sleeping page and it has somewhat scared me about the risk of SIDS being higher in an adult bed.

What I am going to do when he starts moving about if he still won't settle in a crib for day time naps etc I don't know. I met twins 12 weeks older than my DS yesterday who were just about mobile and it scared me...I'm just not ready, I live in a small flat and my DH has work tools everywhere at the moment and it suddenly looks like a toddler assault course to my frightened brain.....

No one had prepared me for the sheer amount of things I would be worrying about at once!

splendide Fri 14-Nov-14 14:47:10

Yeah sorry to disappoint! Maybe some work better but it's still taking him off a lovely warm bosom and putting him in his own space. He wants to be right on me or he's not having it!

I bought a sleepyhead today to try, fingers crossed !

Amummyatlast Fri 14-Nov-14 17:59:45

Have you tried using sleeping bags? I personally don't like co-sleeping with little babies (although we did occassionally did it in desperation). For the first 6 weeks we took shifts through the night as she would only sleep if on one of us. What helped was when she was eventually big enough for sleeping bags. We think that because she was cosy was cosy and warm in the sleeping bag, when she was moved from our arms to the co sleeper crib she didn't notice - no cold sheets to wake her.

PterodactylTeaParty Sat 15-Nov-14 04:18:35

You can get bedside cots that are full-cot-size, attach to the bed, and also let you flip the fourth side down if you're leaving the baby for naps etc. We have the Troll one that Mothercare sell.

Mrsgrumble Sat 15-Nov-14 04:34:54

The ikea cot we have can be adapted to a co sleeper by taking one side off and adjusting the base to suit height of your bed. We are doing this. Much more cost effective. It can also be used as a toddler bed eventually.

WerewolfBarMitzvah Sat 15-Nov-14 05:07:02

Once DS could roll, we put mattress on the floor and slept there. Not ideal/possible in many cases, but worked for us.
DS slept on me all the time - I never it would change - but it did, without me consciously doing anything.

DoggyDaycare Sat 15-Nov-14 12:36:18

oh it is so confusing!

I have had a look at the sleepyhead on the John Lewis website and the sheets are £40 each shock but the reviews are very good- some babies that sound just like mine!

I wonder if I'm trying to do to many things at once and should get one of those for now for safe sleeping, and worry about containing for day time naps nearer the time, as obviously it wouldn't do anything to help for those- but then that means I'm only going to get a few weeks use of out of, surely?

Mrs Grumble, do you know which Ikea cot it is you have? I think it might be worth a try to get a cheap one to see if he will go in it- but I take it the side has to be fitted on or off and isn't one you can just pull down if you leave the room, say, to keep them safe

We have a tempur and can't put it on the floor, unfortunately, its one that needs a slatted base for air circulation underneath or it would go mouldy, apparently, as I do think a mattress on the floor would be an easier option

splendide Sat 15-Nov-14 12:50:11

I didn't buy extra sheets! I just cover it with a fitted crib sheet.

Got the best nights sleep of the last three weeks last night - 3 hour and a 2 hour stretch. Could be cruel coincidence of course but that's the first time ive used the sleepyhead.

DoggyDaycare Sat 15-Nov-14 13:00:09

Oh 3hours and 2 hours!!! That sounds worth the money.

Thanks for the tip about the sheets, I have lots of unused fitted crib sheets hmm

Can I ask how you use it? Do you put it alongside you in the bed, and is there anything the other side to stop it falling off or is it stable enough to be on there on its own??? Also, can you use it for daytime naps safely or does it have to be put in a cot etc (at the moment as bub will only sleep on me daytime naps consist of walking him to sleep in the sling and then perching on the arm of the sofa for an hour and a half without moving to wake him in the sling- my back is very sore!)

VeryPunny Sat 15-Nov-14 13:03:35

We used a sleepyhead with DD and it was a lifesaver. That said, she was out of it by 12 weeks as she started rolling.

We just took the side of our cot and tied it to out bedframe, with a duvet stuffed down the gap.

splendide Sat 15-Nov-14 13:16:11

Mine is sitting in his troll side car crib. I think its ok for naps but my baby is only 3 weeks so he definitely can't roll out.

andadietcoke Sat 15-Nov-14 13:21:44

We loved the DTs' Sleepyheads so much they now have Sleepyhead Grandes that go up to 36 months. For a long time I co slept with them, me in the middle and them in their SHs either side. If they woke up I just rolled over and put a dummy in or got them up for a feed so easily it was like a dream feed.

We had spare sheets for the smaller ones but now we cover the SH with a waterproof mattress protector (Clevamama one is nice and not rustly)and then a fitted sheet on top of that. Means of they're sick we just need to replace the sheet and not wash the whole thing. My girls were in their small SHs until 9 months.

DoggyDaycare Sat 15-Nov-14 13:25:31

Oh flipping heck!!

One of the reasons I want to buy something now (at 14 weeks) is that I'm worried that he will roll out of the bed so if a sleepyhead is no good when they start to roll it won't be any good. Sigh.

DoggyDaycare Sat 15-Nov-14 13:46:42

Thanks dietcoke...will look up Grandes

andadietcoke Sat 15-Nov-14 13:54:27

My girls rolled quite late, I think by the time they were rolling the SHs were in the cots so it didn't really matter. However, saying that, the transition from co-sleeping to cot was made massively easier due to the SHs because it wasn't really any different for them.

Heatherbell1978 Sat 15-Nov-14 20:36:15

I have the Sleepyhead and I love it! DS1 has been in it since he was 3 days old and aside from the inevitable waking to feed, he has always slept well in it in a crib next to our bed. I just drape a giant muslin over it, if you tuck it all in it makes a great sheet!

eepie Sat 15-Nov-14 20:37:50

I was the same, didn't intend to co-sleep but my DD only wanted to sleep on me or near me. At some point though I found I was getting really bad quality sleep and put a dropside cot next to my bed with the side off - it's a Brio Sleep cot so MASSIVE but it was the same height as my mattress so I just took the side off and rolled up cellular blankets to stuff down the side so there wasn't a gap. Then one night I would just gently lift her into the cot so she was still next to me, close, could hear my breathing and feel my presence etc but wasn't actually sleeping with me. I would often sleep with my arm next to her in the cot at first to help the transition. Then I realised she was sleeping fine there and so removed my arm and slept normally next to her. She didn't really notice that she was 'on her own' as she was still to close to me IYSWIM ? Then eventually when we moved out of her room I just moved her cot to a diff place in the room and she now sleeps in the cot without us next to her in the bed and it's fine, she sleeps much better actually as we are not waking her up.

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