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I never seem to get the right balance - help :-(

(7 Posts)
Tory79 Tue 11-Nov-14 18:49:44

Disclaimer: I do have a 6 week old so I realise it's still relatively early days, but I had the same problem when it was just ds1 anyway!

I just feel like I can only ever manage to get one or 2 things right in a day, so eg

I've not been grumpy and shouty - but ds1 has watched far too much tv

I've cooked a lovely nutritious meal - but I've hardly played with ds

I've played with ds a lot - but he's basically eaten crap and ds2 has cried a lot

I've had lots of cuddles with ds2 - but ds1 has been abandoned to play on my phone

Etc etc etc

How can I do better?

caravanista13 Tue 11-Nov-14 18:51:58

I think you need to be kinder to yourself! With a six week old and a DS, it sounds like you're doing a great job.

itiswhatitiswhatitis Tue 11-Nov-14 18:55:04

But that is balance don't you see? It's not always possible to do the best for everyone at the same time but at some point everyone gets a bit of what they need.

You're doing great

tobeabat Tue 11-Nov-14 18:57:34

I know exactly how you feel, and still get this sometimes. But with a little bit of distance from that second newborn stage, I think the key is to lower your standards to realistic levels, and decide what is essential. I decided the key thing was not to be mean and shouty. If I could get through the day without doing that - success! Anything else would be a bonus (obviously I would also feed and cloth them in something!)

Pancakeflipper Tue 11-Nov-14 18:59:47

You just survive through the first 12 weeks.

Then when you cook a wonder meal you make sure it is freezable and cook loads of it for following weeks - in those following weeks you can be entertaining the children whilst it defrosts.

Just make sure you all get some fresh air (that includes just going to the shop each day for biscuits).

elelfrance Wed 12-Nov-14 16:13:45

you're doing brilliant, its just all the hormones/lack of sleep etc thats making you feel like you're not
keep going as you are, and in a month or two things will look better :-)

Tory79 Thu 13-Nov-14 21:32:32

Well today was not too bad, no shouting, healthy food, acceptable amount of tv, no iPad..... Only because ds1 had pre school in the morning and then went out with my dad for a couple of hours in the afternoon though grin soooo much easier with one!!

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