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Am I weird???

(5 Posts)
numberonedad Thu 06-Nov-14 07:28:36

My daughter is now 17 and generally a pleasant, polite, responsible young adult. No need to go into the detail of why I say generally, but she ain’t perfect. And she puts up with the quirks and idiosyncrasies of her dad, so I can’t complain!
But at times I think back to when she was younger, and the things we used to do, and the silly times, the places we used to go and other events and activities, the good and the bad, now mere memories and it makes me sad. Sometimes brings me to tears.
For over ten years I’ve been separated from her mother, so where I’ve been living, it just been me and my daughter (or just me when she’s at her mums) – we used to be very close, we’re not as close now, which I guess is to be expected, she’s 17 and got a boyfriend. But in the past she was my little family and when she’s not around, sometimes the house echoed with memories. That part I guess is something all parents experience when children grow up and leave home.
Writing this makes me feel sad, a sense of loss I reckon. Sometimes if I’m out and about if I see parents with young children it makes me feel quite emotional – as an example, the other day I was driving along and I saw a dad hand in hand with his maybe 5 year old daughter, walking along having that innocent fun that goes with that age, and it bought me to tears. I’ve been experiencing emotions like that for a few years. I hoard stuff, some of it verging on pointless, of hers from her past.
So, I guess this, to an extent, a normal part of being a parent, but am I extreme to the point of weird? Do I have an emotional problem or is everyone like this to a greater or lesser extent, and it’s something you just got to live with?

Toizzy Thu 06-Nov-14 08:58:10

Hi there,

the feeling I get from your op is that you are lonely and that what should normally be a bit emotional, your daughter growing up and becoming more independent, is harder than it should be because of it?
Do you have people around you, friends? Family? Do you feel lonely?

kiki0202 Thu 06-Nov-14 09:32:00

I think a lot of people find it hard when there child grows up and finds their own life I think as she finds her own life you should try to find your too. With the hoarding I would speak to a GP as it usually comes from some sort of emotional place that you need a little help for.

numberonedad Thu 06-Nov-14 23:26:15

Hi Toizzy and Kiki020

thanks for your replies.

Yes Toizzy I think you are probably right - at times I do feel lonely when she is not about. Though does that explain why I find it hard to let go of the memories and objects from when she was younger? Yes, maybe I do need some help to let go of these things.

Toizzy Fri 07-Nov-14 15:51:57

Hi again smile
Obviously I couldn't say for sure, I'm no expert and my ds is only a toddler.
I wonder if your separation has anything to do with it, was it a joint decision?
I mean is it just your younger daughter you are missing or is it also your life then, with her mum etc?

I'm sorry if I'm completely off track!

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