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How to give enough attention to baby with a toddler?!

(5 Posts)
pinkglitter80 Tue 04-Nov-14 21:52:27

I have a 22m DD and 4m DS. Invariably the toddler commands 99% of my attention and I'm feeling really sorry for my little baby, already growing up v quickly and he ends up sidelined in the bouncer / on mat most of the time (apart from the 2 days DD is at nursery) :-( They each have nappies / food/ milk when required but anything else eg any kind of developmental play etc is a bonus esp for the little one. I can't imagine it getting any easier when they're both mobile!! Is this normal? any tips on how I can devote a bit more attention to the baby? will it cause him any damage? feeling like a really rubbish mummy today :-(

dameagatha Tue 04-Nov-14 22:59:49

Know how you feel - I have 2 DSs 2.3 yrs & 7mths. I felt (feel) guilty a lot of the time: not doing the fun/active/important toddler things with DS1 vs not spending enough time alone with DS2. It's true that the 2nd child often gets put down while you concentrate on the more demanding toddler, or that you try to make the toddler play quietly (watch Peppa Pig) while you feed the baby.
Don't worry - your DCs will be fine: it's hard now, and you'll be run ragged for some time to come, but in the long run it'll be wonderful. My 2 adore each other already - DS1 helps out by fetching stuff for me & keeping his brother amused; DS2 is much more chilled than he was when he was younger.
In the long run, your DCs will be so pleased they are so close together. When I was going through mega guilt soon after DS2 was born, friends reminded me that we never regretted having siblings when we were growing up.
Hang on in there xx

RoseTheHat Wed 05-Nov-14 06:29:33

In my experience the baby gains a huge amount of imput, stimulation, entertainment etc simply by watching the toddler smile

pinkglitter80 Wed 05-Nov-14 19:51:38

thanks both. guess I just feel like I'm not really looking after either of them properly! and def have less patience than normal so toddler bears the brunt of that when she takes forever to do nappy change / get dressed / get ready to leave house whilst baby is screaming...

fixyourgardengate Wed 05-Nov-14 20:01:06

I have 19 months between my two. Ds is nearly 3, DD 15 months. As someone said above, DD adores her big brother and basically trails around after him copying everything he does.

Please don't panic, it does get mostly easier as they get older although we are currently going through a snatching stage

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