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Rules for siblings

(4 Posts)
Tillytoes14 Mon 03-Nov-14 21:57:36

Does anyone have rules for sibling's in their house and if so, what are they? I am going through a tough stage with my two children 3 and 8, they argue fairly frequently, which I can deal with, however, what I can't deal with is when my two fight physically and I have to pull them apart. Today my youngest scratched his brother in the eye which resulted in him having a sore, bloodshot eye and then my oldest son retaliated and pushed him over. My husband tends to take sides and I try and help them resolve the situation which has caused them to fight in the first place and then separate them, but it's having little impact if I'm honest. They will normally wind each other up, which results in the situation escalating to being physical with each other. Does anyone have any strategies to help bring some calmness in our household please? Thanks for any feedback!

mrstiggy Mon 03-Nov-14 22:42:34

My oldest two argue a fair bit, they are 9 and 6. They got on well for years but this past 18 months or so they bicker a lot. It's never violent in terms of fighting but they used to snatch their things back if the other is trying to play with them, or do the occasional push. In our house the violence is a big no, any hint of touching someone in anger and they are separated instantly and the aggressor is sent to their room to calm down. Only then will I help to resolve the problem.
The only other rule is 'treat others like you want to be treated'. This includes sharing and speaking nicely. I try to encourage them to sort out their own arguments over the daft stuff together rather than always playing judge and jury, and make sure they get plenty of space from each other when they need it and try to make time to give them individual attention as much as I can aswell as time as a family.
It can be draining though when I've listened to the 50th moan of the day before I've even got dressed. smile
I just keep it simple. A long list of dos and donts just gets confusing and ends up being ignored.

catzpyjamas Mon 03-Nov-14 22:53:10

I'm afraid I've not much advice as there's 13 years (and about 4 foot) between our two so they're rarely awake at the same time.
However it may help to know that my brother and I fought constantly as children, often physically and we now work together and he's my best friend. grin

attheendoftheday Mon 10-Nov-14 20:43:59

My dds are younger but our main rules are that you aren't allowed to hurt someone whatever they have done, that if they can't find a way to share something it gets put away, that we speak kindly to each other and that a turn lasts 5 minutes (I have been known to set a kitchen timer). It is supplemented by a lot of discussion about what their sibling is feeling and lots of praise for being kind to each other. They mostly get on ok, but I suppose it might change as they get older.

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