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Toddler doesn't listen at all - normal I know, but any ways to improve it?

(8 Posts)
Thurlow Mon 03-Nov-14 09:52:05

DD is nearly 3 and just seems to live in a dreamworld most of the time. She used to follow instructions quite well but now our mornings are chaos and she doesn't respond to simple requests like cleaning teeth, putting her shoes and coat on etc. I'm getting shoutier trying to get us ready and I have to admit that this morning I really lost it and shouted so loudly that she burst into tears blush

The CM has also commented on her lack of listening. It's not wilful, she just really is in her own little world a lot of the time.

I can kind of see where we're going wrong - constant nagging clearly isn't effective and it's not nice for anyone. I was thinking of a reward chart (I think she's old enough to understand) but we can't just do one for 'listening', can we? Wouldn't it need something more specific? I also remember reading something a while ago about only asking DC to do something once and then, if they don't, taking them to do it anyway, but I can't remember it clearly.

If anyone has any tips at all how to gradually encourage a toddler to listen at least a little bit of the time?

MokunMokun Mon 03-Nov-14 09:57:32

I have to admit when DS was a toddler if he got dressed and shoes on for nursery he got a digestive biscuit to eat on the way. It was bloody effective. I remember an episode of Super Nanny where she did a stamp chart so they stamped each time they did one thing to get ready. A biscuit is easier though blush

Wolfiefan Mon 03-Nov-14 10:02:09

Get on her level and get eye contact before you speak?

Thurlow Mon 03-Nov-14 10:14:02

I do the whole crouching down, eye contact thing quite often (seem to have absorbed everything Supernanny has ever said through some sort of osmosis!) but you're right, I'm probably don't do it much when I'm asking her to do something. Would that work with lots of praise afterwards?

Thurlow Mon 03-Nov-14 10:14:30

Mokun, if it wasn't for the fact it only takes 5 mins for her to reach the CM's and then have breakfast immediately, I'd probably do that too!

Foxbiscuitselection Mon 03-Nov-14 10:17:22

It's best to give out an instruction super nanny style and wait till they do what they are told. Counting to three helps with mine but they know it's the naughty step once we he each 3.

MokunMokun Mon 03-Nov-14 10:22:04

She hears you but just doesn't want to do it. You need to find an incentive for her. Is there something on the way she likes to look at? A favourite activity she can do once she arrives at the CM? Yes, a stamp chart, stickers, something that will motivate her. It really does depend on the child what they like though. My DS is competitive so we went through a phase of using a timer. Try a few things and see what she responds to.

Thurlow Mon 03-Nov-14 10:28:21

I could maybe do stickers at the CMs. She does like stickers! Unfortunately we walk there - that's its own battle, but we're slowly winning that one by turning it into a game i.e. find the red car, race to the tree etc - but if she gets ready well and then walks nicely to the CMs she could maybe have a sticker.

Is telly a good or bad bribe, what do people think? It feels a bit like changing one bad thing for another (she likes telly, don't they all, so we're trying to keep a limit on it) but I could perhaps offer one episode of Peppa if she gets ready nicely?

Fox, DD does 'do' the naughty step quite well but do you find that works for smaller thing? At the moment we use it really just for proper naughtiness like throwing, hurting, playing with food etc. Do you remember what Supernanny style instructions are? I've been Googling but a lot of the advice I can see is for kids tantrumming or deliberately refusing to do things, which isn't the problem at the moment.

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