DD has just turned 2 and for the last few days we have been staying with my parents. They are making me feel like I am far too strict. In addition since DS was born a few months ago she doesn't seem to like me as much though she adores DS.
I don't think I am that strict but if she doesn't eat her meals I don't make a fuss but it goes in the bin and she doesn't get anything else. Hitting,kicking and hurting her brother result in her going in the naughty corner for about a minute. If I ask her to do something like get in her carseat I try and make a game out of it/distract her but if that still doesn't work she gets a warning and then goes to the naught corner. We go out everyday mostly to meet friends with kids but sometimes just shopping or a drs appointment. I read to her a lot and involve her in housework/cooking but I've realised only spend about 15/20 minutes actively playing with her. She is a bad sleeper so a stay with her when she naps/goes to sleep till she is asleep. We are always cuddling/kissing so she definitely knows she is loved.
I am beginning to wonder if I am too strict with her and if I spend enough time interacting with her? Is it normal that our relationship is not the same as before DS? It makes me sad when she tells me to go away. On the other hand MIL thinks that I bribe her too much and she should just listen to me. I want to bring her up well but I don't want her to hate me!
How else will she learn what behaviour is expected of her? Sounds like how I parent my nearly-2yo although I don't use time out (other stuff works for us). No matter how hippy/gentle/attachment parenty I want to be, he still has to learn how to behave in society and it's my job to teach him!
Every parent questions some aspect of their parenting. You are with him the majority of the time and need to set the boundaries. If you don't correct her it will make life so much more difficult for you all. Grandparents see their grandchild (usually anyway) through rose tinted glasses so while it may appear to them you are strict, in reality it's a different story.
It sounds like you are trying your best to make time for her. It's not easy having 2 little children.
She's still getting use to having DS around, he's only a few months. Lots of children take out their frustration/confusion of a new arrival on their parents.
Thanks for your replies. I am just beginning to wonder if she keeps telling me to go away because I am too hard on her. We were so close before DS arrived that I find it quite hard that she doesn't want me as much anymore.