I'm currently asking myself if I attract bad relationships or create them or destruct good relationships. I divorced my son's dad when my son was 2 due to an emotionally abusive relationship turning into a physical abusive relationship at the end.
I then drifted in and out of relationships that were were not quite right. Then found someone, we agreed to take it slow as he has two kids to his ex wife. We tried to be sensible by showing we wouldn't jump into moving in. 4 years on we live together and in hindsight I've seen signs of a temper from the first 6 months. Now after countless name calling, personal insults about hurtful things and saying he wished I would die, I've made the decision to leave. My son will be sad,I'm worried for him. My exsays I need help and I don't communicate and he says things out of frustration. Am I just destined to irritate any man to say these things? Is this how a relationship works? If one persons traits clash with the others should you accept it rather than leave? He seems to think we have to talk and I need to seek help. Am I disilliussioned to think I don't need help or is it time to seek help as I'm causing this anger in my partners?
I just look at my son and want to protect him from a man saying hurtful things about his mum and making his mum upset. I would do anything for my son not to be like that in the future.
No, nobody deserves to be spoken to badly or abusively. Yes, it is not uncommon to have arguments and say the wrong thing occasionally - and apologise for it - but not to be abused.
Do you have girlfriends in real life who you can talk to frankly about yourself and your relationships? Maybe they can give some honest insight (which is hard to do through the internet without knowing you).
My honest guess is that you are attracted to it attracting the wrong type of men. There are plenty of kind, respectful guys out there, honest.
I do have lots of friends, unfortunately no family about. I just haven't confided in them at all. Only because they have heard it all before from me. I think I need to compute it all myself before I tell friends. Thanks for your message. X