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3 girls, 2 bedrooms ... who will hate me for ever and post about how scarred they were on mumsnet in 25 years?

(32 Posts)
Shedding Wed 29-Oct-14 20:07:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OttilieKnackered Wed 29-Oct-14 20:12:04

My question would be what about DD2? Will she ever get her own space? Will this be a permanent arrangement.

I realise this must be really difficult with limited space, but as the middle child of three girls (!) until we moved to a 4 bed place, the discussion was always which of the other two would get their own. I was never a consideration.

Maybe swap every two years?

WhispersOfWickedness Wed 29-Oct-14 20:15:03

Disclaimer, I have younger dc and have not got this issue and was also an only child so never had to share a room, so forgive me if I have got it all wrong grin

How long has DD1 had her own room? Perhaps you could do it on rotation. So, say she has had 3 (?) years in the room on her own, maybe now it could be DD3's turn for 3 years (based on sleep issues, hopefully these will be resolved in 3 years time), then it will be DD2's turn. Then back to DD1?

Quitelikely Wed 29-Oct-14 20:16:27

I would put the 9 and 7 year old in together and the toddler on her own.

Quitelikely Wed 29-Oct-14 20:17:05

OP where is the testimony of the middle child thread please? I'm keen to read it!

WoohoohooandaBottleofBlood Wed 29-Oct-14 20:19:56

Middle child of 3 here and we swapped around regularly (ie probably annually) depending on who could stand sharing with who, and usually initiated by us. Big age gap between me and the youngest.

When Dsis and I first shared we got really nice bunk beds (went in an L-shape) and DM made curtains to go round our beds so we had some privacy.

I do remember when little Dbro was born the one thing I was really upset about was losing my bedroom.... putting a time limit on it might help your DD1?

Shedding Wed 29-Oct-14 20:22:54

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CalamitouslyWrong Wed 29-Oct-14 20:23:00

I would have always had the older two in together and the toddler on her own.

Since you've had a different arrangement til now, I'd say to your DD1 that she's had two years in her own room and now it's time for one of her sisters to get a chance to have their own room. Then ask her who she'd rather share with. That way you make it clear that she will be moving into the bigger room (and sharing), but you're giving her some element of control.

You could also add in some say to redecorating (which should emphasise storage solutions) to sweeten the deal for all three girls.

Shedding Wed 29-Oct-14 20:24:14

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JubJubBirds Wed 29-Oct-14 20:24:14

I think when you've made your decision just do the change quickly and stick with it. The will we/won't we faffing is really unsettling as a child. It also makes you feel like you've got more power than you actually do (ie kicking up a fuss about not wanting to share so the decision is held off for a bit longer), then when the decision is made suddenly all that power's taken away from you and it's doubly difficult to deal with.

I like whispers idea of a rotation. I don't know how well it would work in reality as 3 years probably feels like a life sentence to an annoyed child, but at least it makes it fair and it could definitely help in the long run.

I like Calamitously's idea. I think a room-change rota is the only way to go about it fairly.

CalamitouslyWrong Wed 29-Oct-14 20:27:42

Will your DD1 have roughly the same amount of space (or more) if you partition the bigger bedroom (with either a curtain or furniture)? Because then you could give both primary aged children their own spaces, even if they don't technically have their own room, while keeping the non-sleeping through toddler separate.

SoonToBeSix Wed 29-Oct-14 20:30:07

I would put all three in together and use the box room as playroom/ homework room. Stick most toys in there and a small desk.

Shedding Wed 29-Oct-14 20:33:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OttilieKnackered Wed 29-Oct-14 20:33:34

I still regard the day I got my own room as one of the best of my life, nearly 20 years later. If you can at any point in the future, consider a 4 bed place!

Good luck. I'm sure it won't be too traumatic either way.

RandomMess Wed 29-Oct-14 20:36:58

Or put all 3 in together in the large room and just have it for sleeping and storage and make the box room a quiet room or similar?

purpleroses Wed 29-Oct-14 20:37:16

I'd be inclined to leave them as they are really. In a year or two DD3 will be much less of a toddler, and more compatible with DD2, whilst DD1 will be getting to puberty and needing more privacy. Plus moving kids around always causes lots of grief.

Could your DD1 allow DD2 into her room to get some peace and quiet sometimes, maybe if they want to do homework or read books whilst DD3 is playing noisily?

Shedding Wed 29-Oct-14 20:38:32

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CalamitouslyWrong Wed 29-Oct-14 20:38:45

If furniture placement is a bit awkward, could you maybe buy those cheap curtain rails with corners from ikea (and cheap but colourful curtains) and make the sharing girls their own hospital ward style curtained off area for privacy?

That would provide a mechanism for escaping to their own personal space, but also allow you to open out the room/let light in sometimes.

purpleroses Wed 29-Oct-14 20:40:13

Or my DCs share a room at their dad's and he has got a flexible divider wall thing that they can move around. They love having it and don't complain about being kept awake by the other any more. You could put something similar in your larger room. Using high sleepers for both girls (in a year or two maybe for DD3) also gives a lot more take space

CalamitouslyWrong Wed 29-Oct-14 20:47:01

High sleepers might be a great idea if the two older girls are sharing.

There are some interesting ideas here. You might get some ideas about what might work in your room.

AngelBlue12 Wed 29-Oct-14 20:54:34

We have for girls 10, 7, 5, & 2. We have 3 bedrooms. They share a bedroom and have the 3rd bedroom as a playroom. We have had them split 2 & 2 but have found that this is much better. We got custom bunk beds that have curtains so each bed has privacy. We have found that they have had much less arguing as there is now more playing/reading space.

Shedding Wed 29-Oct-14 21:02:05

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tobysmum77 Thu 30-Oct-14 09:16:03

seriously the box room sounds like the worst deal by far not a pleasant 'own space'. Dd2 should be grateful to never have had it. Stick dd3 in there she's the smallest so needs the least room. You are overthinking it op, stop reading threads on mn. I am pretty sure that the bitter middle children had more complex issues than this.

tobysmum77 Thu 30-Oct-14 09:18:29

or alternatively ask dd2 what she thinks smile

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