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Does anyone else have same sex siblings one school year apart?

(9 Posts)
FiveHoursSleep Sat 27-Sep-14 22:27:18

My eldest two DDs have 18 months between them and are one school year apart.
When they were little, they were so sweet and inseparable, but now they are 11 + 12 , and in Y7 and Y8, they are so competitive. sad
They are at the same school and the eldest greatly resents this, and says it's 'her school'. DD1 is tall, skinny and pretty much good at everything while DD2 is bright, but not so physically able and is shorter and bigger. She is also about to be assessed for ASD/ ADD, so is more challenged in life than her older sister. She shouldn't be considered a 'threat', yet DD1 is always accusing her of copying her and being embarrassing.
DD2 is quite socially embarrassing sometimes, I see that but she's so upset at how her older sister treats her and hates being in her sister's shadow.
It's awful to seesad
They have their own rooms but do do a lot of the same activities, although DD1 gets to do stuff DD2 doesn't.
Does anyone have children with a similar age gap who have a similar relationship? Does it improve when they get older?

Writerwannabe83 Sun 28-Sep-14 17:53:48

There are only 12 months and 3 weeks between me and my sister with her being in the school year above me.

We adores each other as children but seemed to drift apart a little at Secondary School. I think the ages of 14-15 were when we felt the most disdain towards each other. I think it's because the differences in our personalities were coming out and we both felt like we had reason to be jealous of the other. She was also jealous of how well I did academically and I was always jealous of how many friends she had and how social she was. She felt our mom favoured me and I felt our dad favoured her. It was quite a difficult time as we loved each other because we were sisters but we weren't sure we liked each other as people because of how different we were. We had gone from always being together as children and seen as one unit to then being teenagers and bring polar opposites.

Things started to improve when we hit 16/17 - we had all the same friends and we did everything together and we realised just because we were different it didn't mean we couldn't be great friends and strong sisters.

We are now 30 and 31 and I can't even put into words how much I love her - aside from my DH and DS she is my absolute favourite person!! I speak to her on the phone every day and if I don't see her at least once a week I miss her. I'd do anything for her.

A lot of people we meet say we are like a force to be reckoned with, we aren't separate people but are one unit again. It's like we have our own little world and many people say they don't know any sisters who are close in the same way me and my sister are.

I guess what in trying to say is let them work through their teenage angst, let them embrace their differences and tell them they are both equally wonderful in their own way.

I hope they end up like me and my sister - just give it time grin

Gunznroses Sun 28-Sep-14 17:59:56

writer that is so lovely! And a lovely story. OP, she's summed it up really, let them work it out, don't try and referee, they'll only resent you for it.

RandomMess Sun 28-Sep-14 18:03:36

My middle two are the same in years 7 & 8.

So far it's okay but they are very different - always have been. My younger one is far more academically able, older one sporty and easier going.

I guess we'll see what happens but as only 2 of 4 sisters perhaps that changes the dynamics anyway?

BackforGood Sun 28-Sep-14 18:35:47

Doesn't only happen with same sex siblings and doesn't only happen when they are one school year apart.
My dc have always disliked having their sibling doing the same thing, or 'copying' them. Eldest has always seen dc2 as a bit of a 'threat' (in terms of competition, not literally). They came out of it when he was 17 and she 15 smile.
Seem to remember similar relationships with my siblings, and we all get on fine as adults.

Hurr1cane Sun 28-Sep-14 18:41:04

Hahaha there's 18 months between means my sister. We are like chalk and cheese and hates each other when we were young.

We get on ok now though. Still chalk and cheese and don't talk all the time but we have weekly phone calls and the occasional visit smile

FiveHoursSleep Sun 28-Sep-14 19:41:21

Oh Writer, that does give me hope smile Thank you smile
They also have a Y4 younger sister and Y2 brother, who don't seem to be quite so competitive. Not at this point anyhow.
I try not to referee but sometimes DD2 is getting really upset and can lash out so I have to.
This parenting thing is hard, isn't it?

MiaowTheCat Mon 29-Sep-14 20:43:43

Mine aren't at school yet but I have two girls 11 months apart, so if they'd been born in different months they could have been in the same school year!

guihailin Mon 28-Mar-16 06:29:15

Old thread but exactly this topic. Tried really hard to get them doing different activities so the comparison is taken away. I remember when younger what pity it seemed say at competitive swimming when one sibling was much weaker than another and I always wondered why put them in the same competitive sports. But now my 2 are choosing to do same things and not sure what we should do. Any views welcome ?

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