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Tips for keeping 2 year old ds in his bed at night..

(42 Posts)
wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 07:08:12

DS is coming up to 2, and can now climb out of his cot. We've taken the side off, and the last few nights have been a nightmare! Bedtime now takes a few hours, with dh and I eating our dinner in shifts, as he won't stay in bed. DS then constantly wakes up, and comes into bed with us throughout the night. We keep putting him back, as I don't want him to get used to sleeping with us every night, but we are both exhausted! I'm tempted just to keep him in with us so that we can get some more sleep tonight.
Does anyone have any tips?

SweepTheHalls Wed 27-Aug-14 07:16:31

Stairgates. We resisted for 2 weeks until I was about to crack eith the repeated trips back to bed. Also waited outside his room and did rapid return at bedtime, super nanny stylee. Took about 3 nights to get things back on track! Good luck

Theyaremysunshine Wed 27-Aug-14 07:25:17

We did rapid return with our just turned 2 year old when he went into a bed. Started by sitting next to the bed and then moved further away as things improved. First time, said night night and kiss goodnight, second just said night night, nothing said after that, just returned. And returned. And returned.

Took about 6 weeks.

I'd recommend a sponge side under the sheet and also turn a single size duvet round and tuck in both sides to give him a feeling of security and make it less likely he'll fall out and wake up. DS woke massively less once we did this.

We also use one of these for interest at bedtime. V expensive on amazon at the mo for some reason but should be cheaper elsewhere.

wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 08:11:45

We have got a bar on the side, so he shouldn't fall out. It's so frustrating, before, once he was asleep, that was it until morning. Now he keeps waking almost every hour sad

ChazzerChaser Wed 27-Aug-14 08:16:13

I just let my son come into our bed when he wants to. He also happily sleeps in his bed. My belief is that of you take the 'forbidden' element out of it then the desire recedes too. Although of course there are times when he genuinely wants/needs to for other reasons and then I'm perfectly happy for him to do so. I like waking up with him snugged between us.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Wed 27-Aug-14 08:21:21

I also just let my dc sleep in my bed if he gets up in the middle of the night. Everyone gets more sleep that way and I like the cuddles.

Re: not settling at bed time, are you sure he is tired enough to be in bed? If ds napped past 3pm he wouldn't go to sleep until 9pm at least.

wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 08:25:52

Maybe I'll extend his bed time by half an hour. He currently goes at 7pm, so will see what happens tonight

Iggly Wed 27-Aug-14 08:41:58

Is he warm enough? Or too hot? Have you changed his bedding? I would check that he's not kicking the duvet off and getting cold or that the duvet isn't too hot. When ds was 2 the duvet was too warm even though a 4 tog but he'd kick it off and get cold. We switched to a thinner fleece blanket until bitter winter nights. Now at 4 as he's bigger he will sleep under it fine. My 2 year old dd is the same - she gets too hot.

Instead of eating in shifts, try sitting with him until he falls asleep (stay calm and reassure him - changing a bed is strange) as likely to be faster. Then as he gets used to it you can gradually retreat.

wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 19:53:53

Half an hour to bed later not making a huge difference at the moment. He keeps throwing his teddies out of the bed, and at the moment I'm not giving them back (I will do once he is a bit more sleepy)

wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 20:14:40

Hurrah, he has gone to sleep! Iggly, he did kick the blanket off, so maybe he is too hot..

Theyaremysunshine Wed 27-Aug-14 20:18:53

It is hard OP, especially when you've got used to sleep!

Did you take both cot sides off? Worth just removing one side and leaving the other for a feeling of familiarity and security.

Hang on in there. Take it in turns and have a glass of wine ready for the unfortunate one that night. Some kids apparently make this move without a backwards glance. Hoping DD is one of those, as DS most definitely wasn't! not holding my breath though as DD is a climbing, sleep refusing, inquisitive monkey too

Theyaremysunshine Wed 27-Aug-14 20:21:05

Xpost, glad he's asleep. Fingers crossed for the rest of the night. Tuck him in OP, it will help, sheet or duvet but tuck him in snugly.

wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 20:23:01

We've kept the side of the cot by the wall on grin
I came down and dh ordered me into the living room and press play. He'd paused Great British Bake Off for me, so I didn't miss any, which I'd forgotten was on.

drspouse Wed 27-Aug-14 20:23:23

If it's a cot bed the Gro company zip on duvets are great.

Also, stair gates.

FlossieTreadlight Wed 27-Aug-14 20:27:43

Just to make life really fun there is also supposed to be a sleep regression at 2 years old... Might be an evil combination

wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 20:34:07

Sleep regression?! He's 2 at the end of next month, maybe he is doing it early? <hopeful>

ThisBitchIsResting Wed 27-Aug-14 21:18:21

Stairgate on his room and cut out naps. He'll get used to it eventually though, just be firm and consistent and make being up as boring as possible, dark, nighttime voice etc. it really threw my DS, I wasn't expecting it at all, but stair gate on his room was a life saver. He'd just potter by the doorway, set up camp with duvet and pillow somewhere totally random in his room and be tucked in again at about 10pm!

wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 21:38:26

He's just woken up screaming sad He seems to have a sore throat (sounds croaky) and has been coughing lots, so think he is coming down a cold. Calpol and cuddles currently being given...

ThisBitchIsResting Wed 27-Aug-14 21:43:10

Oh dear, all bets are off is he's ill. Good luck tonight!

Misty9 Wed 27-Aug-14 21:57:44

We took ds's bars off his cotbed at 22mo. I'm afraid it took 6 months of crappy bedtimes and night wakings before things improved I wanted stairgate, softy daddy didn't we used a reward chart to address night wakings but had no choice but to sit through hours of mucking about at bedtime. It does get better though! Ds now usually goes down in around 30mins (bedtime 6.30pm, always has been) and we can even leave the room before he's asleep.

He's three in a couple of weeks and we're just dropping his nap - he's a nightmare to put to bed if he naps now. It's a phase, it's a phase, it's a phase... grin

Oh, and we were pretty laid back about him coming in with us but had to crack down on it before his sister was born 4 months ago. I do recommend a superking size bed though!

wibblyjelly Wed 27-Aug-14 22:13:44

I am thinking of investing in a larger bed grin . He is asleep again, and dh and I are actually watching a TV show together. Keep your fingers crossed, and thank you for all the help and support

drspouse Wed 27-Aug-14 22:24:35

We both voted for a stairgate, after the bars were off the cot bed it was the only way I could have a shower as he wasn't safe yet to roam unsupervised.

Littleoaktree Wed 27-Aug-14 22:39:02

Have you tried him in his cot (sides on) with a sleeping bag that zips up the middle on backwards (ie zip up the back) That keeps my 2.4yo climber in his cot (and unable to remove the sleeping bag)... I'm not ready to go for the bed yet as I know he will just go straight into ds1's bedroom and disturb him.

I moved ds1 to a bed when he was 2.10, by that age he was old enough to understand the concept of a 'big boys bed' and I told him if he got out of bed he would be straight back in a 'baby's bed' (the travel cot with a sleeping bag on backwards so be couldn't remove it/climb out), he went in the travel cot 3 times over the space of a month and after that we haven't had any problems at all. I'm not sure at almost 2 whether your ds would fully understand/see it as a threat going back in a baby bed but you could try it.

QTPie Wed 27-Aug-14 22:59:42

We used a stairgate when DS first had the side down. I would put him in bed and then leave him to it. He would play - up to an hour - then put himself back in bed. Eventually the novelty wore off and he would generally just go to sleep.

We took the stairgate off of his bedroom door at about 2 years 10 months. I would sit in my room. If he came out of his room, I threatened to put the stairgate back ok, he would scuttle back and not leave again. After a couple of weeks of this (one exploritory peek out then scuttle back), again the novelty wore off and he would just stay in bed.

They are all different, but with DS it works if you don't make an issue of it.

With "creeping into our bed" we have been less successful. It happens at some point (between midnight and 8am) every morning (pretty much). Once he gets in with us he is generally good and then sleeps to 7.30/8. It doesn't bother us (unless he is having a particularly fidgety night) and we reason that it won't happen forever (probably!). So we haven't tackled it: he feels secure and happy and we will wait for him to grow out of it. However we do have a Superking (6ft wide) bed - that helps a lot.

wibblyjelly Thu 28-Aug-14 06:42:40

He ended up with us at 3am, and we left him there. Hopefully once he feels better it will get easier. We are staying with the in-laws this weekend, so he will be in a travel cot. Will be interesting to see how that pans out!

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