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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

Comforters: good or bad?

26 replies

WhyNotSmile · 17/08/2014 17:51

Someone bought our baby a comforter - one of those ones that's got a little teddy bear had and then a blanket body. My husband is reluctant for us to give it to him, because he's worried that he'll come to depend on it. I think it would be nice for him to have.

Does anyone have any experience of giving comforters to babies? Does it help them? Does it cause problems later when they have to give it up?

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ilovepowerhoop · 17/08/2014 17:54

ds has loads of soft toys and still takes teddies to bed at age 7. I dont see any harm in it and why would he have to give it up?

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xxx28xxx · 17/08/2014 17:57

Hi

We have just given our 12week old a comforter as he started to reject his dummy. He started to eat his fingers and more worryingly his thumb so we gave him the comforter and he loves it. He uses it to help him nap and generally cuddles it during the day. I'm not overly worried about him becoming dependent on it especially as he dumped his dummy pretty quick which I thought would have been more of an issue tbh!

If your little one is comforted by a comforter then I don't see the problem :)

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WhyNotSmile · 17/08/2014 17:59

I think my husband is thinking of when he starts school. I imagine he'd realise at that point that no one else has teddies, and would naturally leave it at home. And even if he doesn't, I don't think it's a big deal, unless the teacher has some objection.

I think if he wants a comforter, he'll make one out of something if we don't give him one, so we might as well let him have it!

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ilovepowerhoop · 17/08/2014 18:01

why's he worrying about something that is years down the line?? If your baby wants a comforter then give him one.

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kimlo · 17/08/2014 18:03

Dd2 had one, it was only used in bed, she did have a dummy as well though. She's 5 now and one night she just said she didn't need it any more and that was that.

It is a nice thing to have. I gave her one because I knew she would be going in to childcare at 7 months so I wanted her to have something familiar to take with her.

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mausmaus · 17/08/2014 18:08

both dc had/have them and loved them but they are now in the big pile of soft toys. (primary age)

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1lov3comp5 · 17/08/2014 18:13

My 6 yo has a doll that she got for her first bday and quickly became attached to it. We bought a second one and kept rotating and washing them so that we had a spare. It used to have to go everywhere with her but when she started playschool, we explained how it might get lost so doll stayed at home. Now she only looks for it at bedtime and if she is unwell/hurt. It brings her comfort so I have no issue with a child having one.

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donkir · 17/08/2014 18:20

Comforters are great. My son had various cuddly toys that he liked and then stuck with one dog. He only ever has it at bedtime and now age 12 it's still in his bed and if he goes to grandparents then he takes it. He has mates over and so far nobody has commented.
If your dh is concerned the lo will have this you hanging out of it's mouth at every opportunity then it's up to both of you to set guidelines on when dc is to have it.

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Thurlow · 17/08/2014 18:24

I think they're great. DD likes comfort blankets, we introduced them at about 5/6 months when we finally managed to unswaddled her. I cut one large fleece blanket into 6 identical comfort blankets, which helps enormously as we have them dotted around, one at the cm's, one with my parents etc, and so she can't lose "her" comforter.

She only really uses them when sleeping, and occasionally when she is upset. Now she's older she asks for it when she's having a tantrum too!

I think they're better and easier to manage than one cuddly toy, because it's easier to have a few of them.

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fhdl34 · 17/08/2014 18:28

My dd was bought many of these comforter type things, she didn't get attached to any of them. The thing she must take to bed with her every night without fail is my old pyjama top, this is her comforter. Even the bottoms of the same top (so same material) won't do.
You never know what your child will develop an attachment to, she didn't develop this attachment to the top till she was about 20 months old.

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Pointlessfan · 17/08/2014 18:29

I'm pleased to find this thread, we were given a comforter and I think it would help my baby to nap in the day but I've been worried she might suffocate herself with it. She is 5 months - would it be safe for her to take to bed?

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neversleepagain · 17/08/2014 18:30

My twins both have had comforters. One twin is more attached to hers than the other twin is. She has had the same one since she was 5 months old and adores it even now at nearly two. She carries him all around the house and he comes on all our trips. He is also fed all meals beside her. I have hundreds of photos with her and her beloved comforter.

It does no harm and it makes her happy :)

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HerrenaHarridan · 17/08/2014 20:27

Dd had no interest in the shop bought comforters and rejected dummy's from day one.

She now has several muslins that she stuffs in her mouth and strokes the label. They have been lifesavers during her extended hospital stay.

If your baby needs comfort, give it comfort in whatever form that takes. He or she will move on from it when they are ready

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Toohotforfishandchips · 17/08/2014 23:09

My dd had one and ignored it. She had her thumb. My DS loves his and we have several the same as he used to cry for it. (Smelly if not washed!!) At nearly 3 now he rarely wants it except if very very tired or sad but not even at bed time really.

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Toohotforfishandchips · 17/08/2014 23:13

I should have added loads of my kids mates had teddies, Muslins, blankies, taggies etc pre age 3 then gradually left them behind. It comforts them so no issue

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workingtitle · 18/08/2014 08:46

If you don't give him the comforter he may well just adopt something else in its place anyway. DNephew has pyjamas from when he was a baby, I had a pillow case... DS hasn't shown any attachment to one thing yet but I imagine he will eventually.
These objects also have a function (google transitional object).

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mumofboyo · 18/08/2014 10:02

My ds has a lion (from that book, 'Just Like My Dad') and, at 3 and a bit, has it for sleeping, car journeys and when he's upset.
My dd is almost 2 and has a teddy with a blanket in its arms (in fact, she has three - 2x blue and a pink one) from Asda that she sucks. When it goes manky we swap it for another. I don't worry about whether she'll go to school with it; I think that she'll give it up by herself as she gets older and more self-assured.
I think, if something brings comfort why stop it?

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aubreye · 18/08/2014 10:29

DS1 never had a comforter teddy (he had a blankie that he said bye bye to aged six.

DD1 has many teddies but has one favourite that her auntie and uncle got her the day she was born. It's a rabbit with unintentional grey fur and stitch marks by both it's ears.

DS2 and DD2 got matching teddies when they were born. One cream and one brown. DD2 also loves her build a bears but DS2 has no other teddies he really likes.

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thejoysofboys · 18/08/2014 10:38

There is research out there that suggests that having some sort of comfort object is actullay very beneficial for children and helps them cope better with all sort of transitions (e.g. starting nursery, holidays, moving to a big bed, etc).

DS1 ADORES his comfort toy and will always turn to it if he's tired or ill. he wouldn't go to bed without it (we have spares!). But, he's starting school in September and definitely won't be asking to take it with him. he knows that it stays at home during the day.

DS2 however, was given an almost identical comfort toy and couldn't give two hoots about it. He takes a different thing to bed with him almost every day (including random stuff like an apple, once!).

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minipie · 18/08/2014 13:41

I think they are really helpful in helping them learn to be (a bit) independent - in particular to go to sleep (and go back to sleep if they wake) independently.

However I agree with others, they will probably choose their own and it will probably be something that you can't put in the wash or replace easily

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minipie · 18/08/2014 13:42

Oh - if your DH is worried about school or whatever, you can have a rule that their special comforter stays at home. We do - DD's sheep never leaves the house except if we go away for the night, and most of the time it's kept in her bed.

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MiaowTheCat · 18/08/2014 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Thurlow · 18/08/2014 16:16

the teddy version of X Factor Elimination time

That's brilliant We have that too for which teddy is going to share story time.

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eddiemairswife · 19/08/2014 16:31

I still have my Big Ted . He went to the Far East with me when I was 9, he went to University with me, and he's now on a chair in a bedroom . He lost his eyes many years ago, the stuffing has come out of his arms and he has a patch made from a yellow duster on one of his cheeks. I stopped taking him to bed when I got married. My grandchildren think he's pathetic, but I could never throw him away.

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givemecaffeine21 · 20/08/2014 10:10

They're fab, both mine associate their comforters with sleep and grab them as soon as they get in the cot. The rule is they stay in the cot though; they don't leave the cot or the house, because I don't really want them traipsing around with them constantly clutching grubby looking rags which I have to wrestle into the washing machine, and huge dramas over losing them / leaving them somewhere. I get around this by saying 'bunny needs a nap now, let's put him in your cot' as they tend to still be clutching them when they get up from a sleep. I didn't want to rock them to sleep every night, which DS definitely wanted, so I introduced a comforter as a sleep association. Now whenever it's nap time he says 'behhhh' for his bunny and is desperate to cuddle it. He's 14 months. I wash them every other week and tell them their bunnies need baths, which DD now accepts ..... although I tend to hide them under other items and smuggle them back in dry up my jumper at times!