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Some new mums are worrying me

(120 Posts)
Marekesque Tue 29-Jul-14 19:51:47

I feel very strongly about what I am seeing so I have found this place to share my thoughts...

Today I saw three separate incidents of mums leading their child / children out into the road to get into the baby seat fitted to the off side of the car.

In some countries it is against the law to get into, or out of a car on the off-side ( road side ) for obvious reasons. It is dangerous.

Seeing these little children being walked into the road just looked so wrong. Surely a mother would park her car to make sure the baby seat is on the near side ( pavement side ) to ensure the total safety of her baby / child getting into and out of the car ?

Whilst I'm here, two other things...

Baby buggies are very handy, the child is almost on the ground so no fear of it falling out of the buggy, and buggies are light etc... but, from what I see, the baby/toddler is facing forward, and cannot see its mum and is detached from its Mum. Add to that along the typical busy high street the poor child is at exhaust pipe level of all the traffic, breathing in all those fumes, and how many times have I, as a driver, seen the front of a buggy being pushed out from behind parked cars, before I see the mum safely behind the child she is pushing into the road.

Lastly, with the proliferation of mobile phones, I cannot count the number of mums I see pushing a sad looking toddler in the buggy looking ahead with no connection with the mum, whilst she is talking on her phone. The apparent lack of connection is hard to ignore.

Lagoonablue Tue 29-Jul-14 19:52:53


tak1ngchances Tue 29-Jul-14 19:52:54

So sorry other peoples parenting makes you really sad. You must be 100% perfect.

WaxyDaisy Tue 29-Jul-14 19:54:56

Have you heard of twins?

How about rear facing buggies?

We didn't have mobiles when I was a child. My mother spent vast amounts of time ignoring me chatting to friends, on the phone, or reading books.

Your post is bizarre.

mrsbucketxx Tue 29-Jul-14 19:54:58

Sometimes it cannot be helped. If parking is scarce and spaces are few it can happen. I have done this myself in the past. I know my children and I make sure they ate safe.

I think your really worrying for nothing really.

mrsbucketxx Tue 29-Jul-14 19:56:02

Exactly waxy

Op is going to get a roasting.

isthisanacidtest Tue 29-Jul-14 19:56:08

Gosh. Have you spoken to these new mums whose behaviour is worrying you? Is it only the mums? Don't the dads do these things then?

It must be fabulous to be so perfect.

You'd love me. DD is currently standing squirting cream right into her mouth from the can.

BertieBobbles Tue 29-Jul-14 19:56:40

Oh this is going to be fun...!

Floop Tue 29-Jul-14 19:57:06

Worry about your own kids, is my advice here.

Heathcliff27 Tue 29-Jul-14 19:57:19

You don't have children do you OP

zoemaguire Tue 29-Jul-14 19:57:36

Erm, I have three small children. I'd like to see you try and get them in the car and strapped in without ever going on the road side of the car! You aren't the nasty woman who tutted at me the other day for strapping my son in on the road side, by any chance? Who cycled off before I had the chance to ask their octopus arms to help. Mine don't stretch to the opposite side of the car over two other car seats/children, weirdly enough.

callamia Tue 29-Jul-14 19:58:04

Don't worry, none of them would care buttons for what you think.

Heathcliff27 Tue 29-Jul-14 19:59:05

<wonders if I have time to grab a glass of wine and some chocolate before the funs begins >

MiaowTheCat Tue 29-Jul-14 19:59:39

You have two toddlers... now unless I drive a double decker bus - someone's going to have to be on the road side.

Now do feck off dearie.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Tue 29-Jul-14 19:59:54

You're worrying me OP.

Are you ok? These seem very odd things to worry about.

Happy36 Tue 29-Jul-14 20:00:15

I see what you're saying, but quite a few parents have 2 children that require a car seat so they have to take one into the road to get into the car seat behind the driver's seat unless the child is old enough to climb across the other child's seat and into their own unaided. Also it can be difficult to find parking spaces so even if you do put the car seat on the passenger side (more likely to be pavement), there could be an exception.

I think, like knives, scissors, heat, poisinous chemicals, etc., we have to teach our children that roads are dangerous and model our most prudent behaviour for them. Before I had children I'd jaywalk any road with reckless abandon but nowadays if any child is around, not just my own, I feel obliged to cross only when the lights to change even if it seems like an interminable wait!

Happy36 Tue 29-Jul-14 20:01:49

*poisonous (sorry for the typo ^ )

goshhhhhh Tue 29-Jul-14 20:01:58

Just read a passive aggressive post on Facebook & here is another one - says I passively aggressively..

Pass the chocolates Heathcliff...

lljkk Tue 29-Jul-14 20:01:58

Chill, Markesque. Your turn to get it all perfect when you have kids.

drspouse Tue 29-Jul-14 20:02:49

Sorry, but I'm confused:

You say the mothers were "leading" the children i.e. the children can walk but then say "baby seat".

So do you mean toddlers, or babies?

What are parents of two children supposed to do? Or twins? We have the toddler seat on the driver side and the baby seat on the curb side, meaning that the toddler (who is able to cooperate with being put in the seat) is on the road side. Should we never take them both out in the car together?

I am highly aware, as an adoptive parent, of the parent-bashing over front-facing buggies, which are supposed to "impair bonding" and "damage children's brains". I've looked up the "scientist" who makes a lot of these claims and all the "research" she cites seems to consist of one observational study where some mothers with forward facing prams were seen talking on their phones.

Ok, so it's not possible really to talk on your phone and, at the same time, talk to your child. It's good to talk to your child. It's still possible to talk to your child in a forward facing buggy (and for DS who loves the sound of his own voice your child to talk back). It's also possible to use a phone with a parent-facing buggy, and to be the kind of parent who just doesn't talk to their child, of which there were a lot around before mobile phones were invented.

thornrose Tue 29-Jul-14 20:03:01

How do you know they are 'new mums'? confused

startwig1982 Tue 29-Jul-14 20:03:05

My ds's seat is behind my driver's seat but we very rarely park on the road(if ever). Our buggy is very clever in that you can put the seat/bassinet on either way and you can flip the handle over to change the way the child is facing.
As for pushing the buggy first, what on earth do you expect a parent to do? It's hardly safer pulling the buggy after you!
-I'm not a perfect parent btw, not am I doing a stealth boast, but you are a little idiotic. smile

JamForTea Tue 29-Jul-14 20:03:16

Oh fgs people don't bite!

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Tue 29-Jul-14 20:04:02

But won't anybody think of the children!

TortoiseUpATreeAgain Tue 29-Jul-14 20:04:44

Well, I know I generally pick my favourite child and park the car accordingly with that child on the pavement side. Although I also have to be guided by trivial considerations like, well, which side of the road actually has a parking space free. So sometimes I have to have the child I don't like so much on the pavement side, which is obviously a great trial to me.

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