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Parenting

What is the age gap between your kids and how have you found it?

28 replies

Nickname1980 · 25/07/2014 13:01

I have a 5.5 month old DS and am already thinking about having another (!) but not just yet! I'm 34 and don't want to wait too long because of my age.

What age gaps are there between your kids? And how have you found it in terms of both how your kids get along and your recovery/tiredness levels?

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MissCalamity · 25/07/2014 13:47

I have a Ds who was 4.4 when DD was born
He's at nursery 2.5 days a week (although last day today) which gave me a bit of one to one time with DD.

He can do quite a few things himself, eg: toilet trips, getting a snack, changing the TV channel Grin he can also be patient when I'm feeding her. DS does seem to like DD & will kiss her & play with her hair & generally ask questions.

DD sleeps quite well, so I'm not too tired. I personally don't think I could have coped with a smaller age gap, but then again I am surprised how well I have coped so far mind you 5 weeks of summer holidays may be the breaking of me Grin

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neversleepagain · 25/07/2014 14:05

2 minutes. The first year was a blur and pretty awful. The second year was much better. The third year starts soon, fingers crossed.

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MinnesotaNice · 25/07/2014 14:11

22 mos between DS1 & DS2. Was hard work for the first two years but now they (mostly) get along really well and will spend hours playing together. It's great as they are generally into the same things so vacations and days out are easy to plan.

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Skiingmaniac · 25/07/2014 14:24

Just under 13 months ago here....hectic to start but great now!

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christmashope · 25/07/2014 15:56

15 months My boys are now aged 8&9. I would do it all over again with that same age gap.
The first Year or so was tough but well worth it now as they are great wee friends

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givemecaffeine21 · 25/07/2014 19:17

11 months here. Hella hard for the first year but getting easier now the youngest (1) is more mobile and contemplating walking. They're also the best of friends. Definitely worth it but hard going for quite a while.

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PleaseJustShootMeNow · 25/07/2014 19:18

20 years between my 2. They get on great. DS adores his big sister. I'm completely knackered but at least I have a babysitter on tap.

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SugarPlumpFairy3 · 25/07/2014 19:43

My dd was 5.5 when my dts were born (1 minute between them!). It's worked very well for us having that larger than average gap as she was at school, so it's given me the chance to do baby groups etc again. She was also old enough to understand and to help out which has been a godsend!

Ironically, we didn't want a close age gap, hence the 5.5 year gap! For me, the first 18 months were tough but now the twins are coming up for 2, I'm starting to reap the benefits and I'm really enjoying it.

I thinks there's probably pros and cons for different age gaps.

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Mintyy · 25/07/2014 19:47

Dd was 2.8 years when ds was born. It worked brilliantly for us because she was out of nappies and could ride on a buggy board, and went to nursery for a few hours a week, and reliably slept through the night ...

but they are still close enough together in age to enjoy similiar holidays/activities. Things are only beginning to change now that dd is in secondary and ds still at primary. They have had a wonderfully close childhood.

I really don't think I could have stood two in nappies or a double puschair!

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cyclecamper · 25/07/2014 22:01

17 years Wink. It's great, they play really nicely together!

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wigglesrock · 25/07/2014 22:40

Dd1 was 2.4 years when dd2 was born and dd2 was 3.4 years when dd3 was born. They are now 9, 6 and 3. The gap between my first two was ok but dd2 was a terrible sleeper so tbh it was quite tough. My husband works away a lot so it was mainly me doing the non sleeping nights.

The 3.4 year gap between dd2 and dd3 has worked out really well. They all get on well, I mean they really irritate each other sometimes but my sister can still irritate me like no-one else Smile.

I had dd1 when I was 31, dd2 at 33 and dd3 at 37.

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abigboydidit · 25/07/2014 23:03

20 months. All survivable because DC1 was walking from 10 months. Not sure I would have made the same decisions otherwise?!

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Nickname1980 · 26/07/2014 19:41

Wow thanks everyone! Sounds like if the kids are close together in age it's tough for the first year, but worth it later!

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HecatePropylaea · 26/07/2014 19:47

15 months.
They're teens now.
Its been fine.
Cant compare it to any other gap because this is the only one i have experience of, but it wasnt that hard. Knackering Grin but that passes in time.

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3littlewomen · 26/07/2014 19:51

The first three each had 4 years between the nearest sibling.... For the first two their younger sibling was born the week they started school.

Then had a 19 month gap which was really hard for the first year but they are now great pals.

Then when the youngest was 6 we had the last. Great helpers and he is doted on.

Love my age gaps....

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BertieBotts · 26/07/2014 19:53

That's the conclusion I have reached as well OP.

I only have one but now he is five, six in the autumn, life is so far removed from what it was like with a baby/young toddler that I am a bit nervous about returning to it even though I want to.

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Toohotforfishandchips · 26/07/2014 22:55

20 mths and it's awesome

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Artistic · 27/07/2014 00:21

7 years & couldn't have survived any less!

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Sapat · 27/07/2014 01:12

DD was 2.8 when DS1 was born. Worked really well as she used the buggy board so no double pushchair and just or about to be toilet trained. They play together quite happily.
DD was 6.5 and DS1 almost 4 when DS2 was born recently (I am 37). I work full time and could not have had much of a smaller gap, especially as DS1 was quite clingy (and DD has some special needs). Was promoted at work just the year before and wanted to settle in my more senior position before getting pregnant again and wanted to finish a big project before going on mat leave. Ideally I would have wanted 3 years between the younger two and no more than 4 years. I had given myself about 6 months to get pregnant with DS2 before reconsidering as I felt we were moving on from baby land.
At the moment the age gap has suited us very well as the older two are independent and able to understand. They have adjusted very well to the baby and are very loving towards him. I am also loving having a baby again. However I am aware that when DD starts Uni DS2 will have just started secondary school.
This said, there is exactly the same gap between my siblings and myself (I am the middle one) and we get on great, even though we each live in different countries. It has also staggered the grandchildren for my parents!

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Lally112 · 27/07/2014 01:36

2 year age gap I found the best between DS1 and DD1, too much of a gap between them and DD2 and DS2 because its hard to amuse them all on days out and inevitably someones left standing around waiting because the older kids are on a big kids ride or the younger kids are on the teacups etc when we go to say a fairground.

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BigWLittleJ · 28/07/2014 11:37

There are 22 months between ours. I haven't found it too hard, but we are still early days as DS2 is only nine weeks old. DS1 has been brilliant, not regressions/jealousy to speak of and he has been very patient while I'm feeding. I don't think he'd have handled it quite so well if he wasn't so verbal though. It helps that I can explain things and that he can tell me how he's feeling. The hardest thing I've found is being awake much of the night, the having to be running around after a very busy to year old all day.

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BigWLittleJ · 28/07/2014 11:38

No regressions*

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MirandaWest · 28/07/2014 11:40

22 months between DS and DD. Never really found it too bad - DS just accepted DD being born and I liked the "big red buggy" (Phil and teds). They're 10 and 8 now and generally get along fine.

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miniHovis · 28/07/2014 11:42

there is 3.5 years between ds1 and ds2, and then 14 months between ds2 and dd1 (now aged 11, 8 and 6) I found it harder with the 3 year gap then it was with the younger two, was hectic and mad the first year with 3 and 2 who couldnt walk but now its amazing and the younger 2 are the best of friends and so close. Now expecting dd2 with a 7 year age gap

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mumofboyo · 28/07/2014 13:11

17 months between mine. It was hell on earth for the first year of dd's life but now, at 3.3 and 1.10, it's great. They play together, entertain each other, walk around the house holding hands - they're great friends and I really hope they stay this close as they grow up.
My sister and my brother both have an 8 year gap between theirs and they struggle to find activities that spark both dc's interests. My sister's eldest is 18 now and has emerged from the teenage years as a well-rounded adult; her youngest is just about to enter into them - 16 years of teen strops and hormones Shock. I'm glad I get them out of the way in one go!

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