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Overwhelmed by stories of bad things happening to children since I had DC

(52 Posts)
CityDweller Thu 10-Jul-14 13:30:23

I just wondered if anyone else has experienced this? Since I had DD (well, actually, since she was about 8 months old) I find I am affected, to the point of being overwhelmed, if I read anything about bad things happening to children. I'm almost overcome with pre-emptive grief at the prospect of anything happening to DD.

For example, there was something about the Bulger killers in the papers a few weeks ago, which just made me feel very overwhelmed at the idea that something so awful could happen to a toddler (esp. the idea that they might be very frightened before they died). Today I read something about a memorial fund in the name of one of the little girls who died in the Sandy Hook school shooting. Again, I was overcome with grief at the idea of all those terrified little children in that school as the shooter rampaged.

Is this normal? Do all mothers/ parents feel this? I've never been one to feel such strong emotions about situations that don't directly impact me. Now I almost want to avoid social media and the news for fear of hearing about something else terrible happening to small children...

pinkerson Thu 10-Jul-14 13:32:47

Completely normal. Especially if you are sensitive anyway. My dh would cut things out of the paper if they were about children. Never watched the news, and would stop friends from talking about awful things.

Just protect yourself as much as possible.

ReluctantCamper Thu 10-Jul-14 13:33:31

Oh yes. DS is 3, and it has faded, but I still really struggle with news stories etc about child abuse and so on.

My theory is that you get a massive dose of empathy to help you put up with how completely dependent babies and toddlers are on you.

I had to stop reading Game of Thrones because I knew something bad was going to happen to the Stark children!

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers Thu 10-Jul-14 13:35:02

Yes I'm exactly the same

CityDweller Thu 10-Jul-14 13:37:51

Oh phew, I'm glad I'm not alone!

Hemlock2013 Thu 10-Jul-14 13:40:01

Yes me too!! Also started worrying about nuclear war since I had dc.... Anyone had that too?

Tinkerisdead Thu 10-Jul-14 13:40:08

Oh god yes. Not only does every news story deeply move me but I have warped imaginings of horrific things that could happen to my kids.

It started when dd1 was 2 days old when i wailed to dh "what if shes raped and murdered in a park?" He was saying wtf shes days old?!! More than them being injured I fear them being afraid or terrorised.

Embolio Thu 10-Jul-14 13:40:34

Yes, very normal. I have cried in the car at news stories on the radio before now. It doesbget a but better over time but its still there.

Embolio Thu 10-Jul-14 13:41:43

a bit better ahem

ReluctantCamper Thu 10-Jul-14 13:42:28

yy re nuclear war. I frequently worry about how I'll protect DS in the event of an apocalypse of some kind.

oh dear.

CityDweller Thu 10-Jul-14 13:45:56

YY TheDoctorsWife46 - it's the idea of DD being in a terrifying situation that sets me off. The idea of her dying and being afraid. Oh god, even typing that makes me well up.

Effing motherhood...

Tinkerisdead Thu 10-Jul-14 14:04:13

I can honestly say if i'd have known how much i would worry im not sure i'd have had kids actually.

My friend has dc's in their 20's and she said she still visualises awful things happening to them now, it doesnt stop. I always feel ridiculous as a school trip had me visualising a coach crash, we go on the ferry on holiday and im mentally planning how to get the lifejackets on. Im always pushing thoughts away to be a normal parent but I do torture myself with thoughts. And news stories i just end up crying to dh saying "thats someones baby!!"

NickyEds Thu 10-Jul-14 14:29:50

Yes. I have a completely irrational fear of some random nutter throwing DS in his buggy off a road bridge near where we live ??!?? What's that all about then???

Pregnantagain7 Thu 10-Jul-14 14:32:23

Another one the same here, I find any charity ads involving children horrific and frequently cry at them, obviously they were awful before but now I can't watch them. Also frequently turn the news over because can't cope with stories about children.

FavaBeanPyramidScheme Thu 10-Jul-14 14:40:54

YES YES!! It must be hormonal. After reading The Happiest Baby on the Block I kept thinking about the hard life of a baby in the prehistoric era! I say this for comic effect, but the phenomena was and continues to be really upsetting especially news stories.

ShineSmile Thu 10-Jul-14 14:41:26

I feel the same too. In fact I can't even read the stories anymore shock

creamandsugar Thu 10-Jul-14 14:42:15

Me too. Can't listen to news,read papers,anything really that's bad news re children.
Another odd thing, I used to be a big fan of horror movies, can't watch them AT ALL now.

idontlikealdi Thu 10-Jul-14 14:42:33

Normal. I can't watch the news anymore and only glance through the papers.

KEGirlOnFire Thu 10-Jul-14 14:53:17

Another one here who feels the same. I am terrified of something happening to DD. I don't let it effect me day-to-day but it does play on my mind a lot. Definitely much worse since having a child.

But I am sooooo emotional all the time! I watch a Youtube video of a child singing a song really well (something from Frozen springs to mind) and I get choked up when I just talk about having watched it to DH and find my eyes filling with tears.

That's just one example but I am so so emotional. Not PG and I've been like it since having DD 5 years ago. Weird!!!

NickyEds Thu 10-Jul-14 15:38:18

Also,I remember when I was young watching a Challenge Anneka (blast from the past!) where she renovated a Romanian orphanage. There were all these little babies in terrible conditions that had learnt not to cry because no one came. Hadn't thought about it for YEARS. Cried about it the other dayconfused.

Cariad007 Thu 10-Jul-14 15:48:27

Ok, I just reared up and had to cuddle DS when I read this thread so that should answer your question OP!

Cariad007 Thu 10-Jul-14 15:48:43

Reared up? TEARED up!

ILickPicnMix Thu 10-Jul-14 15:54:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MexicanSpringtime Thu 10-Jul-14 16:18:47

Yeap, it's called empathy. I can't even cope with fiction where a child is threatened.

ThirteenMeetings Thu 10-Jul-14 19:12:17

This is me exactly, and is very different from how I was before having DD. I was reading a theory that it's to do with the oxcytocin hormone, which gets a big boost during childbirth and even more so if you breastfeed. Oxcytocin makes you more empathetic to help you bond with your child, and this is a side effect.

Interesting, but doesn't help when I'm feeling sick watching the news, or crying over an episode of Call The Midwife! (This happened while visiting my parents, and when they asked me why I was crying all I could say was, "I just feel so sorry for all the little babies who don't get the love and care they need." It still makes me well up when I think about it.)

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