Advanced search

What's for lunch today? Take inspiration from Mumsnetters' tried-and-tested recipes in our Top Bananas! cookbook - now under £10

Find out more

Should I let ds stay with my dad?

(1 Post)
whethergirl Wed 02-Apr-14 23:07:44

DS (9) has on occassion, during the holidays, over the last few years, stayed with my dad and his girlfriend of 6 years, for a few days. My dad's relationship with his girlfriend has been turbulent at times and she has been prone to dramatic/violent outbursts.

She dotes on ds and always has done since he was a toddler. Ds is very fond of her. Although my dad is retired and around a lot of the time, and although his girlfriend works, she would do a lot of the looking after of ds, i.e. making him have a shower/brush teeth, playing with him, making him food etc. and generally making a big fuss of him. I've never seen her have any of her outbursts, she has always been super nice whenever I've been around.

A few months ago, when my dad was abroad, he texted me and was furious, as apparently his lodger had rang him to complain that during a heated arguement the girlfriend had threatened the lodger with a knife. I told my dad to call the police but of course he didn't. By the time my dad returned, the situation had calmed down, and my dad minimised it by saying that she happened to have a knife in her hand and waved it about, in her hot headed way.

My dad recently asked for ds to go and stay with him during the Easter hols (the girlfriend is ALWAYS asking for ds to go and stay) and ds really wants to go. I am a lone parent and won't pretend that I could do with the break.

However, especially since the knife incident, I feel that I can't let ds stay there, knowing what I know. I do think the girlfriend genuinely loves ds but how can I trust that she won't have an outburst in front of him?

The other issue is that my dad has the tv on all the time. DS never watches adult tv at home. Although most of the tv is in a language ds doesn't even understand, he has once before come back disturbed because he saw something upsetting on the news. He is very sensitive and easily scared.

So, better safe than sorry. However, my dad and his girlfriend are begging for ds to go and stay (I'm not sure what reason I could give them for ds not to go) and ds really wants to go. Am I right to refuse?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: