What's for lunch today? Take inspiration from Mumsnetters' tried-and-tested recipes in our Top Bananas! cookbook - now under £10Find out more
Ideas of fun things to do with 5 year old DS please(21 Posts)
I need to build up my bond with my little boy. It's hard because he's a drama queen; moans and whinges about everything, and he's extremely negative. Everything's "not fair" or he's too cold/tired/feels sick. I lose my patience with him a lot and it broke my heart when I asked him to describe Mummy and he said "angry"
What things can we do together without one of us getting irritated? I had him very young and although I love him to bits he's often like an annoying little brother. I know that sounds awful but I don't want to sugar coat it. He has two younger sisters. Thanks for reading.
What kind of things does he like? E.g. does he like superheroes? lego? having you read to him? playing football? role play? I'd make a list of all the things you know he likes and start there, then you can always add in somethings that you might not have done with him before or for a while, to jazz it up.
All boys are different, so hard to give 'suits all' suggestions, maybe best asking him what he likes and then scheduling in some 1:1 time with him every day (if you can - even if its just 20-30 minutes) doing what he likes.
I would agree - ask him what he would like to do and if possible, do it.
Things we do during the week include swimming, gym, free local museum, messy play at the children's centre, swings, soft play, library, playdates, and local farm. Indoors its lego, puzzles, board games, computer games, art and craft, sticker books, reading, sandpit, water play, scooter in the garden, cooking, and housework.
I get frustrated with my eldest quite easily too, its really hard when they are all attitude and pushing boundaries.
He does like reading/being read too.
He goes to football club at school but has never asked to play it at home.
He loves going on the Maths website that is set for homework every week (but that's a pretty solo activity isn't it?!).
He loves going to the park. I do take them sometimes but I secretly hate it (guess who DS got his moaning from!).
He has lots and lots of toys and games, but I wouldn't say he's wild about any of them, and the ones he's previously enjoyed have all had their pieces lost/broken (I do try to store the carefully!).
Tbh, his favourite things would all involve him being bought something, like a McDonalds, or new things. Then as soon as we get home it's not good enough and the whinging starts.
He goes to bed at 7pm and by this time I'm shattered and dreaming of sitting on the sofa watching TV... This would be the best time to spend time with him (sisters in bed) but I have no energy.
I'm picking him up from school in 50 mins and while I always look forward to seeing him, it's barely 10 minutes before we're arguing
Jointhedots - I do almost all of those things with the DDs, as they're at home. Is your eldest at school?
Through the holidays I'll take DS to the toddler groups and he'll enjoy that. I'm going to find out about swimming lessons too.
You could always suggest playing football at home (if you have a garden), we got some cheap goalposts (12 quid) in a sale and they're great for passing 15-20 mins, giving him some exercise and ahving fun (unless I score a goal - which is clearly an unforgivable sin...)
What about craft stuff? Maybe doing a big painting together (we did an autumn picture with our son, glued on leafs, painted sticks of wood etc, and he really enjoyed it) or making monsters with glue stuff and cardboard? Does he like anything like that?
Our son also whines about new stuff, at which point we threaten to take away one of his toys (usually his darth vader lego man) for a week since he's clearly not happy with the toys he has... So far, we've not had to enforce this, but I would (I think this is the age where 'grabby materialism' starts, as opposed to 3 year olds who will happily accept that a big cardboard box is a castle....)
Messy play painting/crafty stuff?
My son ad I used to design a newspaper and put in stories that had happened in our day, draw pictures, cartoon page, puzzle page?
Reading is great to cuddle up and chat together. Could you go to the library together in the hols and choose some books together?
Yes we've got a gorgeous garden at our new house, and actually thinking about it... There's a big patch of grass next door that is free for anyone to use (no one does though). Our neighbour put up some goalposts on there.
He would love the craft stuff, come to think of it. I used to freak out at the sight of glue/felt tips but I'm a lot better now so we might try that, thank you
Letting them help cook terrifies me! I'm such a perfectionist and struggle to watch them make cakes "wrong" etc... Feel mean being like that though.
Mummy1973 - we do that obviously if he's at at school and the books are due back I go without him, but I will take him there in the holidays. He's currently reading a book WAY beyond his years (he's in year 1 but not 6 until the very end of August). Really proud of him for that.
You need to drop your perfection standards a bit OP. A bit of mess or an unevenly baked cake is not a big deal.
It is the time spent with you that matters to your DS not the end product you produce. I give my children carrots/potatoes to chop when we are 'cooking' together as they cannot really get it wrong.
Relax a bit and you may find that you enjoy the activities more.
I think it really helps if the activity is something YOU will enjoy too; it won't seem such a chore. I really enjoyed playing board games with mine when they were little, as well as simple crafts or cooking activities. But I wouldn't have been so keen on imaginative play or Lego building, so left that to dh. Have fun OP; he will be a teenager before you know it!
Well, I let him choose a magazine after school and then sat with him while he did the activities. It was nice, and there was no whinging etc
I was thinking about the Easter Hols with my list - eldest is actually starting school this Sept and does 5 mornings at preschool at the moment but hopefully you can do some over the next couple of weeks when he is off and again in the summer.
The reason i suggested asking him what he wants is surely he cant moan as much if its his choice... maybe?!
I'm going to ask him tonight. Tuesday was good - we played football. Ten Wednesday he was with his grandma while I was at the doctors.
Then this morning we fell out and I smacked his leg I got to the point where i was thinking I need to have him adopted etc. I'm no good for him.
I have a very similar relationship with my nearly 5yr old. I to too much talking at him, but sat and talked things through with him the other day and he asked for a hug then was perfectly behaved and happy for the rest of the day.
Read up about special time.
Thanks, Natural. Glad I'm not the only one... Feel so guilty sometimes. I did find that when we did the magazine activities/played football he didn't really whinge at all.
They can be challenging at this age. I too hate the whinging especially after a treat such as a cinema trip etc. maddening! However mostly I think dcs just want our attention (especially if they have younger siblings) I think sometimes the complaining is just a way to engage you a bit longer as you say he was happier when he had you one on one.
Also if it happens after school prob tiredness and hunger as well often makes for a whinny child.
DS 4.6 is like this! Negative, whiny, always tired (or unwilling/lazy). He just wants to watch TV and play on the tablet all day. I have to make a conscious effort to drag him away from them. He doesn't like the park, and neither do I, but loves the museum, so DH takes him once a week to one of the two in our city. He hates walking and will only cycle short distances (a mile or 2), so for longer distances we have to use the bus, so that limits the outings somewhat.
We do the occasional playdates, but he can be quite grumpy and embarrassing - asking to go back home after 10 mins if he doesn't like the toys or is feeling bored. He is also a bit of a scaredy cat and won't do a hobby class without us, so can only do one dance class a week where a parent can accompany (although he only goes when he fancies it - every other week or so). He is scared of public loos and big birthday parties in halls (because the noise and abundance of people), so quite a sensitive soul.
He doesn't like lego, playdough, cutting veg or art/crafts, as his fine motor skills are a bit lacking and he is a perfectionist. He also is quite fussy with food, so hates most cooking smells. However, he likes mazes, and will do them occasionally. Kumon maze books are good and so are those wipeable ones.
He doesn't care about stickers or magazines. Doesn't want to read independently, although he can, but likes to be read to (only before bed). He loves baking sweet things (and eating half the batter in the process), but we can't really bake every day. We'd all be huge! I wish I could get him interested in bread baking. He likes to build brio train tracks, play airport or buses going around their routes stopping along the way, and racing with his die cast vehicles, and have imaginary chasing/rough and tumble games where he is e.g. a cat and I am a monster. Sometimes I have the energy for them (rough and tumble can be done sitting on the sofa), but I bloody hate the cars and aeroplanes.
But, what he also loves, is looking at google maps and zooming in and out of places and looking at earth in space. He will, for example, choose that he wants to visit the airport in Madeira and then use street view to pretend he is driving there.. or look at the e.g. polar regions/Iceland.. I quite enjoy doing that with him (if the bloody computer's not playing up).
He also likes a spot of gardening, helping me by pretending to be a tractor and taking my bush cuttings to the compost heap, or over watering the plants. If the ground is dry and I am feeling energetic, I will draw a train track, airport runway, road, etc. on the paved bit of the back garden with pavement chalk. DS then plays there with his die cast stuff.
Uh, sorry.. this is so very long.. also not very helpful. But if it helps at all - I know how you feel, op!
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now »
Already registered? Log in with:
Please login first.